On March 9th, 2008, at 4:00 P.M. EDT, the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you not wish to see those comments, an expurgated version is also available.

 

lpsmith exclaims, "On to the second half of the ceremony! Next up: Best Puzzles, presented by Andrew Plotkin, aka zarf!"
Gunther says, "yay halftime show"
Merk exclaims (at jscott), "Yeah, thanks for letting us have a look!"
[peanut-gallery] DavidW asks, "I've never had a mp4 file before. How do I play it on Windows Media Player, if possible?"
[peanut-gallery] VictorGijsbers says, "Ok, sorry, I don't know any good Windows players."
zarf steps up on stage.
Eric claps appropriately.
Merk says, "Yay for awards."
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says (to DavidW), "download vlc or use quicktime"
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says, "It should Just Work(tm)"
zarf says, "Hi all. I'm Andrew Plotkin, also known as Zarf."
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says, "BUt yeah, VLC should do it too"
duesen is speechless
[peanut-gallery] jscott says, "Should work on quicktime or vlc. Surprised that media player doesn't play it."
zarf says, "A few of the old-timers here will remember me."
[peanut-gallery] DavidW says, "I have no space on my drive for new programs."
[peanut-gallery] Taleslinger says, "He's back."
Jacqueline laughs and applauds.
duesen points at zarf, "Who's that?"
McMartin claps
zarf says, "You may be wondering what I've been doing in the past, oh, however long it's been."
Ellison claps
[peanut-gallery] DavidW says, "I'm taking a risk simply by logging the ceremony."
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "it's 2 megabytes or so"
Taleslinger says (to duesen), "Shhh"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "oh, oof"
zarf says, "(Yes, I am going to talk about me as a warm-up.)"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "delete your temp directory"
lpsmith laughs.
zarf says, "I was actually planning to give this whole interactive presentation about my life."
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says, "Yay Volity"
zarf says, "With water ballet and fireworks and breakdancers and, you know, elephants."
[peanut-gallery] Sargent asks, "...called GOT LAMP?"
Merk begins to fidget.
zarf says, "But I could only find one elephant."
Taleslinger gasps.
(From zarf) A lone elephant walks on stage.
Ellison says, "haha"
zarf says, "And it can't dance."
(From zarf) The elephant looks sad.
[peanut-gallery] DavidW says, "What's VLC? I've not heard of it."
(From zarf) (From the elephant) <snif>
[peanut-gallery] jscott says, "http://www.takelamp.com"
duesen asks, "why is it pink?"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "www.videolan.org"
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says, "Massive play-everything player."
zarf says, "Anyway, the truth is, for the past few months I've just been hanging out at home and playing games."
[peanut-gallery] VictorGijsbers says, "David, http://www.videolan.org/vlc/"
[peanut-gallery] ctate says, "yay breakdancing elephant"
(From zarf) The elephant demonstrates some Super Mario Galaxy moves.
Taleslinger says, "Yay games!"
ctate ooooh.
zarf says, "(see #nintendo)"
zarf says, "And reading."
(From zarf) The elephant begins reading the new Iain M. Banks.
Taleslinger says, "Yay books!"
[peanut-gallery] baf nominates the elephant for Best NPC
zarf says, "And browsing the internet."
(From zarf) The elephant starts doing something to Matt Damon.
Taleslinger says, "Yay web!"
[peanut-gallery] ctate says, "ha ha ha"
zarf says, "Saw a few movies. Bought an iPhone."
[peanut-gallery] Emily says, "eep"
Storme says, "ha"
Emerald bids on the elephant.
(From zarf) No, seriously, what the hell is that elephant doing to Matt Damon?
[peanut-gallery] ctate says, "helpful safety tip: don't rickroll an elephant."
zarf studiously ignores this byplay.
Taleslinger says, "Yay movies! Yay capitalism!"
[peanut-gallery] Miseri asks, "For a moment there, I thought he meant our Iain Merrick. Wouldn't it be cool if the M in Iain M. Banks stood for Merrick?"
zarf says, "Watched a lot of television."
Merk now claps for the Mario-emulating elephant.
(From zarf) Summer Glau comes out on stage and kicks the elephant's ass.
Taleslinger says, "Yay TV!"
Gunther waits for it.
Emily says, "YAY"
(From zarf) Matt Damon makes a break for it.
ctate laughs.
Otto says, ""I thought geeks wouldn't need iPhone because they always stay home on their computer...""
zarf says, "...Oookay. Well, when it comes down to it, the only thing I've been doing which is IF-related is some blogging...""
[peanut-gallery] Storme says, "I'm pretty sure Iain used to be IainM on here and people assumed he was just a Banks fan"
zarf gives the elephant a patiently expectant glance.
(From zarf) The elephant shrugs in an "I got nothin'" way.
Taleslinger says, "YAy"
Taleslinger says, "Yay blogging"
zarf says, "...So I will cease going on about my life, and get on with the nominees for Best Puzzles *wooo!*"
ctate applauds.
Taleslinger says, "Yay XYZZY's!"
Gunther says, "thanks, Meretzky"
zarf says, "- An Act of Murder, by Christopher Huang as "Hugh Dunnett"!"
[peanut-gallery] Miseri says (to Storme), "I'd never heard of Iain Banks at the time."
Jota asks, "Does 'cease going on about my life' imply that you will return to ifMUD rather than having one?"
duesen always thought zarf had no life.
McMartin says, "w00t"
Jota applauds.
Emerald claps
Merk exclaims, "Good luck Hugh Dunnett!"
Taleslinger claps.
Eric claps.
zarf says, "hush, it's nominee time"
zarf says, "- Child's Play, by Stephen Granade"
Emily says, "woo"
Jota claps!
Taleslinger claps some more.
Eric applauds
Merk exclaims, "Good luck, Sargent!"
McMartin claps
Emerald says, "yay"
zarf says, "- Lost Pig, by Admiral Jota as "Grunk""
Eric claps.
Merk exclaims, "Good luck, Lost Pig!"
McMartin says, "woo pig"
Baryon stands and claps
Emerald claps
zarf says, "- Suveh Nux, by David Fisher"
lpsmith cheers!
duesen exclaims, "aha!"
Emerald says, "yay Suveh Nux!"
Merk exclaims, "Good luck, DFisher!"
Eric claps.
zarf says, "- The Chinese Room, by Joey Jones and Harry Giles"
</Jacqueline> We speak loudly, so that the other people in the cafe understand that we are aces of interactive fiction and the integrity of the world would waver without our presence.
<Jacqueline> I'm still working on becoming a lithe-yet-brooding martial artist who can leap from crag to crag like a mountain goat.
Jota claps.
Merk says, "Good luck team of Jones & Giles"
Baryon sits and claps
Jota applauds.
Emerald claps
McMartin cheers
Celestianpower claps absondantly
Eric appears to clap.
zarf says, "And the winner..."
(From Taleslinger) Zarf has disconnected.
(From zarf) The elephant is looking really unsure as to whether it should still be on stage.
zarf chases the elephant off.
[peanut-gallery] Merk kicks Taleslinger again.
[peanut-gallery] Emerald suppresses Tale firmly.
zarf says (to Taleslinger), "Stop that."
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "Looks like the Smithsonian is closing, and the massive stone walls of this institution block the wireless once you leave, so I will catch the rest of this in transcripts form..."
[peanut-gallery] Jota exclaims, "Noooooo!"
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says, "Alas"
zarf says, "Suveh Nux, by David Fisher!"
[peanut-gallery] McMartin exclaims, "Take care!"
Emily says, "woooo!"
lpsmith cheers!
duesen claps
McMartin explodes
Sargent says, "Yay Suveh Nux!"
ctate says, "woo!"
Eric applauds
Taleslinger says, "yay"
Miseri applauds
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "I'm going to try one other thing, but if I disconnect again, I'm afraid it will mean that I have failed."
Jota cheers.
djfletch exclaims, "hurrah!"
Emerald says, "HOORAY!"
baf exclaims, "Nux! Nux! Nux!"
DavidW says, "yay!"
lpsmith updates the BEST PUZZLES entry on the chalkboard.
<vaporware> What was your name again, sir? You've been real square with me.
Nitku exclaims, "Woo!"
[peanut-gallery] Miseri says, "I keep meaning to play this, but I never get around to it. Now I'll absolutely have to."
zarf sits down
Jacqueline applauds for Suveh Nux!
Merk asks, "Congrats! Is he here?"
[peanut-gallery] Emily says, "it's awesome"
VictorGijsbers beats the drums.
lpsmith asks, "Do we have a David Fisher with us today?"
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says, "I haven't beaten it yet but it was still awesome enough to win the vote just on what I worked out"
[peanut-gallery] Merk says, "Yeah, I need to play it -- and a bunch of otheres too."
[peanut-gallery] Merk says, "otheres = others."
lpsmith says, "If not, I'll send him a walkthrough on how to get it."
Emily says, "heh"
[peanut-gallery] Taleslinger says, "Slap that fisher!"
[peanut-gallery] Merk asks, "That's David's first game, too -- right?"