On March 9th, 2008, at 4:00 P.M. EDT, the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you not wish to see those comments, an expurgated version is also available.

 

lpsmith exclaims, "OK! Our next award is for Best Individual NPC, presented by our very own Eric Eve!"
Eric climbs the steps, trips on the top one, and sprawls headlong across the stage.
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says, "I blame TELL GNOME ABOUT PANTS with them off."
Merk exclaims, "Yay Eric!"
Guest1 arrives from the west.
Merk says, "oh."
lpsmith helps Eric up.
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "Perhaps there was a One Character per game rule and Grunk got more votes."
McMartin exclaims, "Yay lack of permanent injuries!"
Eric taps the microphone.
[peanut-gallery] WeirdBeard says (to baf), "They were going to, but they accidentally got c.M.O.T. dibbler to do the job."
Eric says, "Can you all hear me at the back?""
duesen points at Eric, "Who's that?"
lpsmith asks, "I did mention our insurance lapsed, didn't I?"
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says (to Jacq), "NPC, not PC. Gnome would have gotten more votes"
[peanut-gallery] Jota says, "I recall that Varicella had two NPC's on the ballot, actually."
[peanut-gallery] VictorGijsbers says, "Grunk was not an NPC."
Eric says, "My lords, ladies and gentlemen...""
[peanut-gallery] Jota says, "(Although I could be mistaken.)"
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "Sorry, I meant that. heh."
Taleslinger says (to duesen), "Shh"
lpsmith updates the BEST USE OF MEDIUM entry on the chalkboard.
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says (to Jota), "Huh. Well, we can discuss later."
[peanut-gallery] olethros says, "what about multiple PCs? some games did have tehm"
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says, "Award is best individual PC"
Eric says, "The nominations for the Best Individual NPC of 2007 are..."
lpsmith updates the BEST INDIVIDUAL PC entry on the chalkboard.
Eric removes a sealed envelope from an inside pocket.
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "Jota's NPCs were so wonderful they FELT like PCs, that's all. Or something."
Eric slits open the envelope with an elvish sword.
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline asks, "My. Is he compensating for something?"
Emily says, "Jim Aikin is going to want that back when you're done with it"
Eric drops the contents all over the stage, but manages to retrieve one piece of paper.
[peanut-gallery] Sargent says, "an elvish sword used with great iniquity"
[peanut-gallery] Taleslinger says, "I will now rewrite the game from the pigs perspective."
DavidW asks, "er, what were the nominees?"
Eric says, "First: Zoe in Child's Play, by Stephen Granade"
Jota cheers.
Jacqueline says, "Hooray Zoe."
Emily says, "woo"
DavidW says, "yay"
yandexx Zoe is bad girl.
Taleslinger screams for mummy.
[peanut-gallery] Emerald says (to Taleslinger), "that game would be too easy!"
Merk exclaims, "Yah! Good luck!"
Emerald says, "yay Zoe!"
Eric wipes his spectacles and peers at the page.
[peanut-gallery] Taleslinger says, "OF course, with an alternative plotline."
olethros says, "whoooah"
VictorGijsbers turns the organ furiously, creating the effect of a 33 rpm disc played at 45 rpm.
Taleslinger covers his ears.
Eric glances at the page and clears his throat.
Eric says, "Second: The gnome in Lost Pig, by Admiral Jota as "Grunk""
Merk exclaims, "Yay gnome. You rock!"
duesen exclaims, "ouch!"
Jacqueline says, "Yay Gnome!"
yandexx exclaims, "Yay for gnome!"
DavidW says, "yo yo gnome"
McMartin claps
Taleslinger says, "Yay gnome!"
Emerald cheers
VictorGijsbers feeds a traditional gnomish mining song into the organ.
Taleslinger covers his ears.
Eric peers at the envelope again
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says, "In grand gnomish tradition, the song itself can dig through rock"
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "heh"
Eric says, "It seems there's only three nominees for this award this year."
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline asks, "What about the pig?"
[peanut-gallery] Thrax says, "gnome, gnome on the range"
[peanut-gallery] Merk says, "Just 3? Must have been very solid first-round voting."
Eric says, "And the third is: Gunwar in Treasures of a Slaver's Kingdom, by S. John Ross"
Jota claps.
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "This is where I was surprised... only three nominees, when the pig was qualified and, in fact, nominated. But I digress."
Emily says, "hooray for piratical dwarf"
duesen exclaims, "ah!"
DavidW says, "yay NPC in a game I haven't played!"
McMartin exclaims, "Yarr!"
VictorGijsbers plays the gnomish song backwards, revealing a chain gang chant.
Merk exclaims, "Yay Gunwar!"
[peanut-gallery] jscott says, "The "pig debate" will rage throughout 2008"
Jacqueline says, "What DavidW said! Hooray!"
Emerald claps apologetically for the NPC in the game she hasn't played.
Eric says, "And the winner is..."
[peanut-gallery] Emily says, "I think the deal was that there was a huge fourth-place tie or something"
[peanut-gallery] DavidW says, "yes"
(From Taleslinger) Eric Eve has disconnected.
[peanut-gallery] DavidW says, "all one vote apiece, too, I think."
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "Ah."
[peanut-gallery] Merk kicks Taleslinger
duesen says, "hmm"
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says, "That would imply maga was the only one to nominate Pig"
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "Yeah, evidently."
Eric exclaims, "The gnome in Lost Pig!"
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline smoothes out her dress and sits back down.
Jacqueline says, "WOOT!"
DavidW says, "woot!"
Emily says, "woo!"
yandexx exclaims, "I knew it!"
zarf claps
[peanut-gallery] Emerald says, "I was going to put in first-round nominations, but I didn't get round to it - too busy moving and stuff"
Merk exclaims, "Go gnome! Go gnome! It's your birthday!"
McMartin exclaims, "Yay Gnome!"
Baryon exclaims, "Hoorah!"
Sargent applauds.
Taleslinger says, "YAY"
Eric exclaims, "Congatulations, Admiral Jota!"
duesen says, "pig rocks"
[peanut-gallery] baf says, "That pig was robbed."
VictorGijsbers starts playing forward again, at increased speed.
yandexx claps
Jota steps up.
Nitku cheers in gnomish
Emerald says, "yay gnome!"
Merk claps for Jota again.
Miseri says, "gnome gnome gnome"
lpsmith cheers!
djfletch exclaims, "gnome best alive thing in game that not playing game!!"
Jota says, "Our gnomish friend has also declined to be present at the ceremony, as he wasn't comfortable receiving this much attention in person."
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says (to baf), "Well, yes. But I nominated the Gnome, so..."
Jota says, "But he asked me to report that his current research has been going very well."
Emily says, "aw"
[peanut-gallery] McMartin asks, "Are you implying Grunk STEAL pig?"
Eric tries to step down off the stage, but trips and falls straight onto Victor's barrel-organ.
Jacqueline says, "Hooray research."
Jota says, "He says that almost all of his test subjects' hair has grown back already, and only one of them has lost his sense of smell."
[peanut-gallery] Fang asks, "Oh, XYZZY awards is tonight?"
[peanut-gallery] Grocible asks, "jacq: you own a dress?"
lpsmith laughs.
Fang arrives from the west.
duesen pulls Eric's tail
Jota says, "It's difficult to say when we'll meet up with him again, but I do hope it'll happen some day."
[peanut-gallery] Fang asks, "How much did I miss?"
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says (to Grocible), "Only for the Xyzzies. Look at me and you'll see it."
VictorGijsbers exclaims, "Watch out, you'll break my kettle drums!"
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says, "Three awards."
Emerald says, "cheers for the broken barrel-organ"
[peanut-gallery] Grocible says, "I figured with all your rugged hiking through the wilderness a dress would be outta place"
Jota exclaims, "So from both him and myself, thanks!"
[peanut-gallery] Fang asks, "which three?"
Taleslinger Helps eric down.
[peanut-gallery] jscott says, "DavidW streaked around in the back of Victor's presentation"
Eric slaps duesen with his tail.
Jota steps back down.
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says, "NPC, PC, Medium. Should be on the blackboard"
lpsmith steps back to the stage, clapping.
duesen blushes violently
lpsmith exclaims, "Thanks again, Jota!"
[peanut-gallery] DavidW says, "hey, I'm wearing nanites. I'm not streaking."