On March 9th, 2008, at 4:00 P.M. EDT, the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you not wish to see those comments, an expurgated version is also available.
lpsmith says, "So! Next we have the award for Best NPCs. And presenting the award is Emily Short."
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says (to McMartin), "Heehee. I have about thirty minutes."
Emily climbs onto the stage
[peanut-gallery] Taleslinger asks, "Who else should present that?"
Jacqueline applauds for Emily.
duesen pints at Emily, "who's that?"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "Drobo"
Taleslinger yays Emily for not falling / spilling anything.
lpsmith updates the BEST INDIVIDUAL PUZZLE entry on the chalkboard.
Emily says, "Fortunately my award presentation will be sponsored by Apple"
McMartin steals duesen's pint.
Emily holds up brand new iEnvelope
Taleslinger says (to duesen), "Sss"
zarf says, "yay"
Emily taps the screen
Gunther says, "iNvelope"
Merk says, "Booooo Apple."
olethros says, "ohahahaha"
Sargent says, "ha!"
Merk says, "heh"
Emily says, "The nominees for Best Non-Player Characters are:"
Eric produces an apple and promptly eats it.
[peanut-gallery] djfletch says, "it is so thin it would fit inside a laptop"
Emily says, "For a collection of suspicious characters *any one of whom could be the killer*"
[peanut-gallery] baf says, "The only envelope that you can't open it."
Emily says, "(and probably will be if you play the game enough times)"
Emily says, "An Act of Murder, by Christopher Huang as "Hugh Dunnett""
[peanut-gallery] Nitku says, "haha"
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says, "Well, you can, but it voids your warranty"
Merk exclaims, "Yay Murder!"
McMartin cheers for Misery again
Eric claps blue murder.
olethros says, "hooray for potentially murderous NPCs"
Jacqueline applauds for Miseri .
Emily scrolls screen to the next nominee
VictorGijsbers Victor cheers, still a little wary of trying the organ.
Emily says, "For a highly goal-oriented pack of toddlers"
Emily says, "and their happily oblivious parents"
Emily says, "Child's Play, by Stephen Granade"
duesen frantically tries to dig up Emily's picture on the Web...
yandexx exclaims, "yay for kids!"
Emerald says, "go babies!"
Taleslinger plays the Colombo theme song on Victor's organ.
VictorGijsbers exclaims, "Hurrah!"
DavidW says, "yay parents!"
Jacqueline claps for Sargent's virtual kids.
Taleslinger throws pacifer on stage.
olethros says, "hooray for mischief!"
Merk exclaims, "Yay Children!"
yandexx tries to get wifi access on the iEnvelope
Emerald prays for someone else to fall into Victor's organ.
DavidW says, "yay for legs and mimosas!"
Emily says, "For a couple of astoundingly expressive non-humans"
Celestianpower leaves the auditorium to the west.
Emily says, "who seem to have a response to everything the player does in their presence"
Emily says, "(and, admittedly have the advantage of being smarter than the protagonist)"
</Celestianpower> Celestianpower has disconnected from ifMUD.
Emily says, "Lost Pig, by Admiral Jota as "Grunk""
olethros says, "yoooooowwooooo"
DavidW says, "tweeeet!"
[peanut-gallery] WeirdBeard says (to Emerald), "TSD"
Emerald says, "hooray"
Merk exclaims, "Yay, again, for the Grunkmeister!"
VictorGijsbers chases a pig from the insides of the organ.
[peanut-gallery] Taleslinger says, "plays Grunk theme on organ."
Jacqueline says, "Huzzah!"
Emily says, "For partly puzzle-oriented combat with all flavors of fish"
Taleslinger plays Grunk theme on organ.
Emily says, "(a work secretly funded by the sashimi lobby)"
Jacqueline says, "Heehee"
Emily says, "Slap That Fish, by Peter Nepstad"
Miseri says, "Yay sushi"
[peanut-gallery] McMartin exclaims, "It all about Grunk, and it all about pig!"
[peanut-gallery] Emerald says, "oops so it does. hehe"
[peanut-gallery] baf asks, "the Gunk theme is 'Tweeee', right?"
olethros says, "mmm ink"
Merk exclaims, "Yah fish! That was a challenge!!"
[peanut-gallery] Miseri says, "well, sashimi, since sushi technically isn't fish."
Jota says, "Especially mcp's new chocolate-ripple trout."
Taleslinger throws fish bowl on stage.
VictorGijsbers gives a fair cover of 'Weird Fishes / Arpeggi' on the organ.
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says (to baf), "You clearly didn't try SINGing repeatedly."
[peanut-gallery] Taleslinger says, "Of course!"
Emily says, "For a recreation of the world's great philosophers"
Emily says, "and a pirate with an ontologically ambiguous ship"
Emily says, "The Chinese Room, by Joey Jones and Harry Giles"
lpsmith says, "Woo ontological"
<Celestianpower> Celestianpower has connected to ifMUD.
olethros says, "yay ambiguity"
McMartin claps for back-alley logicians
Baryon applauds phenomenologically
DavidW says, "my my"
[peanut-gallery] Taleslinger says, "claps with one hand."
Eric says, "Je suis, ergo sum."
Merk exclaims, "Yeah puzzle-filled romp!"
Taleslinger claps with one hand.
VictorGijsbers starts singing Monty Python's Philosopher's Song.
[peanut-gallery] djfletch asks, "Fish, pigs, gnomes, murderers, and philosophers. What happened to social realism?"
[peanut-gallery] Merk says, "Oh my."
Celestianpower arrives from the west.
Emily taps iEnvelope screen again
[peanut-gallery] Jota asks, "So you don't object to toddlers, then?"
[peanut-gallery] VictorGijsbers says, "We have the small children."
Emily says, "and the winner is"
[peanut-gallery] WeirdBeard asks (of djfletch), "There's a difference?"
Jacqueline leans forward.
Emily says, "Child's Play, by Stephen Granade!"
Sargent says, "!"
[peanut-gallery] McMartin exclaims, "Murders are gritty and ripped straight from the Headlines!"
zarf says, "cheers"
Taleslinger says, "YAY!"
lpsmith exclaims, "Yaaaay!"
Emerald says, "YAY!"
Miseri says, "clap clap!"
McMartin exclaims, "Woohoo!"
Taleslinger hugs Sargent.
DavidW says, "hooray!"
[peanut-gallery] baf exclaims, "Fish are real!"
olethros says, "hoooray!"
[peanut-gallery] yandexx exclaims, "everything's just as I voted!"
Sargent walks up on stage.
Eric claps very loudly.
Jacqueline applauds. "Congrats, Stephen."
Merk exclaims, "Yay! Congrats Sargent! Congrats NPC's!"
Emily waves Sargent to the podium but carefully holds the iEnvelope so he can't get it
duesen exclaims, "thank you, the members of the Academy, thank you!"
<ctate> What flavor? Sugar.
Sargent says, "I, er, I'm afraid I don't have speeches down yet."
Sargent says, "So I'll just say thanks, everyone."
olethros says, "blast a laser!"
lpsmith exclaims, "I thought you were the parent!"
yandexx exclaims, "yay kids!"
Sargent walks back to his seat.
Jacqueline says, "I thought it was just your toddlers that didn't have speech down yet."
DavidW says, "you can add footnotes to the transcript later!"
olethros says, "hahaha"
Emily says, "hey, at least he's got walking on his own"
Sargent says, "Oh, I have speech, just not speech*es*."
Jacqueline says (to Emily), "True."
Jacqueline claps for the non-speech.
lpsmith says, "That's level 47."
Jota asks, "Mimosas on Sargent after the ceremony?"
Sargent says, "Indeed!"
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "Thank you, lps. For some reason that made me spill coffee on myself while laughing."
lpsmith updates the BEST NPCs entry on the chalkboard.
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says, "If the Companion Baby *does* speak, the Daycare Center recommends you disregard its avice"
zarf says, "There's never a bad time to pour your drink on Sargent"
[peanut-gallery] ctate says (to Jacqueline), "success!"
yandexx has to go. It's 00:00 already!
yandexx goes home.
</yandexx> yandexx has disconnected from ifMUD.
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says (to ctate), "If success = pain and a stained sweater, yes."
[peanut-gallery] Celestianpower asks, "You mean to say you haven't been writing your speech, then revising it, then scrapping and rewriting, then revising it again for weeks, Sargent?"
[peanut-gallery] ctate says (to McMartin), "ha, IRTA "disregard its avarice""
[peanut-gallery] ctate says (to Jacqueline), "aw"
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says, "Even better."