On March 9th, 2008, at 4:00 P.M. EDT, the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you not wish to see those comments, an expurgated version is also available.
lpsmith says, "So, our next award is for Best Writing. And zarf is back to present. I'm not sure about the elephant, though."
zarf gets up
Merk claps enthusiastically for AFDFR.
duesen points at zarf, "Who's that, again?"
[peanut-gallery] Emily says, "for political fairness, there's a donkey this time"
zarf says, "Hi all. I'm Andrew Plotkin, also... hang on."
zarf shuffles his notes.
aash29 says (to lpsmith), "afraid not"
zarf makes "No! Do *not* send the elephant on!" gestures at backstage.
Taleslinger says (to zarf), "Hehe"
zarf says, "The nominees for -- no! Do *not* --!"
zarf says, "Hang on."
lpsmith says (to aash), "Too bad! Welcome anyway ;-)"
zarf goes backstage.
zarf says, "Not now."
zarf says, "Look, it's nothing personal."
aash29 says (to lpsmith), "thanks"
zarf says, "You did great. It's just--"
zarf says, "Well, that was the Best Puzzles presentation, and now we're on to Best Writing."
Thrax says, "yay fits, and also starts"
Lee says, ""heh""
zarf says, "Please stop crying."
zarf says, "No, your career is not over!"
[peanut-gallery] Nitku says, "Ah, the universal "Do not send the elephant on stage" -gesture"
zarf says, "You look great. They loved you."
[peanut-gallery] djfletch asks, "does anyone have a mouse in their inventory?"
zarf says, "Look, I have to go out and do this thing."
zarf asks, "We'll go have a drink after the ceremony? Okay? You, me?"
[peanut-gallery] Jota says, "Someone is going to have to call the ASPCA on Zarf."
lpsmith hollers backstage "We loved you, elephant!"
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says, "It's the wrong kind"
Lee says, ""haha!""
zarf says, "Good kid. Stay right there."
zarf comes back on stage and turns his microphone back on.
zarf says, "Okay! The nominees for Best Writing!"
Merk exclaims, "Yay for writing!"
baf lifts his trunk and trumpets!
zarf says, "- An Act of Murder, by Christopher Huang as "Hugh Dunnett"!"
nm flicks his lighter on
Miseri heard everything from backstage via the wireless.
zarf says, "- Child's Play, by Stephen Granade!"
lpsmith updates the BEST STORY entry on the chalkboard.
Jon arrives from the west.
Ghogg waves his lightstick
zarf says, "- Deadline Enchanter, by Alan DeNiro as "Anonymous"!"
McMartin arrives from the down.
duesen set his pants on fire.
zarf says, "- Lost Pig, by Admiral Jota as "Grunk"!"
Merk exclaims, "Yeah Murder and Child and Enchanter!"
zarf says, "(Grunk like)"
Merk exclaims, "And Pig!"
Emerald says, "yay!"
[peanut-gallery] Emily asks (of Merk), "wait, wasn't that the plot of Fate?"
McMartin exclaims, "Yay!"
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says, "No Pig in Fate"
zarf says, "- The Chinese Room, by Joey Jones and Harry Giles!"
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says, "At least, none that I found"
[peanut-gallery] Merk says, "Didn't play Fate. :("
McMartin cheers for all nominees
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "these are the most varied xyzzy winners ever"
[peanut-gallery] Sargent says, "two nominees for best writing with sentence fragments or tense problems and the like"
[peanut-gallery] VictorGijsbers says, "There's a goat. Almost a pig."
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says, "Just as well. I tire of games sweeping."
zarf says, "and do we have a winner? I think it likely that we do!"
[peanut-gallery] Merk says (to VictorGijsber), "My appologies. :("
duesen says, "pig..."
zarf says, "Grunk win writing!"
Sargent says, "yay!"
DavidW says, "hooray"
Taleslinger says, "Yay!!!!"
Emily says, "yay!"
Emerald says, "woo Grunk!"
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says (to Sargent), "The trick is to be illiterate in a way that proves the author is not."
McMartin exclaims, "Yay Grunk!"
Miseri says, "clap!"
lpsmith updates the BEST WRITING entry on the chalkboard.
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "I take it back"
[peanut-gallery] VictorGijsbers says, "If I had to apologise to every author who's game I hadn't played, I would be busy."
Jota exclaims, "Thank you!"
Merk exclaims, "Yeah Grunk!"
zarf sits down
Jota says, "The writing in this game was, of course, a collaborative effort."
djfletch clap hand lots
Jota says, "Grunk produced most of the raw text, and I transcribed it and assigned it to actions as best I could."
Jota says, "We're both hoping that some day, he'll be able to produce more of his memoirs. Whether in interactive or static form."
Jota says, "But I am also hoping that he's able to find a real scribe to write it all down for him next time."
Jota says, "Because, man, writing that stuff can break your brain after a while."
Jota waves and returns to his seat.
Merk claps again.
Emily says, "yay"
duesen kisses Jota.
lpsmith says, "Heh."
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says, "I think my favorite part was actually the 'what could be better than brick?' sequence in the hints."
olethros has disconnected.
olethros has connected.
[peanut-gallery] Merk asks, "Oooh, the final award is up next, eh?"