On March 9th, 2008, at 4:00 P.M. EDT, the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you not wish to see those comments, an expurgated version is also available.

 

lpsmith exclaims, "So! We've reached the end of the ceremony, with the award for Best Game!"
[peanut-gallery] DavidW says, "mmhm"
Ghogg exclaims, "woot woot woot!"
lpsmith says, "Eileen usually presents this award, but she couldn't be here this year, so that duty has fallen to me."
Merk exclaims, "A preemptive YAY for all five nominees!"
lpsmith pats his pockets.
lpsmith says, "I just hope I have the winner written down somewhere."
lpsmith exclaims, "But anyway!"
duesen points at lpsmith, "Who's that, anyway?"
Emily grudgingly offers the iEnvelope
lpsmith exclaims, "The first nominee is "An Act of Murder", by Christopher Huang!"
DavidW says, "woot!"
lpsmith exclaims (at Emily), "Hey, thanks!"
Jota applauds!
Emily says, "yay"
duesen roars!
Baryon claps gravely
Merk cheers.
McMartin says, "Yay"
Emerald claps
lpsmith taps the iEnvelope and it chimes spritely.
Miseri hopes none of the suspects tries to steal the award.
olethros says, "hoooray!"
Gunther says, "IRTA chimps"
lpsmith exclaims, "Nominee #2: Child's Play, by Stephen Granade!"
[peanut-gallery] Merk exclaims, "The winner, in a surprisingly anachronistic upset is... one of my games!"
Celestianpower claps extensively
McMartin claps adverbially
Emerald says, "yay Child's Play"
DavidW applauds
Emily says, "woo"
djfletch applauds
Jota cheers.
Merk cheers for Child's Play
lpsmith exclaims, "#3: Fate, by Victor Gijsbers!"
DavidW cheers
Jota claps.
McMartin applauds
Merk cheers again, this time for Fate.
Emily claps
Emerald claps
duesen looks at the organist.
djfletch claps fatalistically
VictorGijsbers waves at duesen.
olethros says, "we all live for fate!"
Baryon is destined to clap
Baryon claps
lpsmith exclaims, "#4: Lost Pig, by Admiral Jota!"
DavidW says, "oink oink oink!"
Merk exclaims, "Good luck, pig and gnome and Grunk!"
duesen says, "pig..."
Emerald cheers
djfletch grunts
Celestianpower attempts to clap but a strange force makes him applaud instead
lpsmith exclaims, "And finally: Suveh Nux, by David Fisher!"
Merk claps for Suveh Nux!
Celestianpower drumrolls
Emily claps
duesen says, "david"
Emerald says, "yay Suveh Nux!"
DavidW says, "huzzax!"
Jota applauds.
duesen claps.
VictorGijsbers finally beats the kettle drums for the Also Sprach Zarathustra effect.
McMartin asks, "zomghax?"
djfletch claps
olethros says, "yay for pig of the ages"
lpsmith taps the iEnvelope, and it makes a sad *breeeeeeeoop* noise and the screen goes blank.
lpsmith asks (of Emily), "Did you forget to give this thing fresh batteries?"
duesen says, "we just lost video"
Celestianpower spielt den Trommelwirbel...
Emily says (to lpsmith), "the user can't replace them!"
(From Miseri) Cedric Crane looks innocent. Alexander Wolf bashes him.
lpsmith exclaims, "Curses!"
McMartin works a Jigsaw puzzle
lpsmith pats his pockets, but fails to find the right envelope.
ctate says, "If you had a $70 time machine you could go back and remember to charge it ahead of time."
[peanut-gallery] Merk says, "Oh well. No best game. Must go home now. Nothing to see."
lpsmith says, "I guess it's a good thing we got this pneumatic tube installed two years ago."
ctate ducks.
[peanut-gallery] zarf says, "tuuube!"
[peanut-gallery] ctate asks, "a pneumatic tube into his POCKETS?"
[peanut-gallery] Nitku says, "I didn't know Curses was a nominee"
[peanut-gallery] Baryon says, "I bet the elephant would've remembered the envelope"
duesen says, "damn, I just spilled my drink!..."
[peanut-gallery] Jota says, "In which lps can make a speedy escape from the angry crowds."
DavidW says, "yay Gourmet tube"
lpsmith pushes a few buttons on the podium, which rattles and shakes before ejecting a small cylinder.
lpsmith opens the cylinder.
WeirdBeard sees idle people...they're all around...they don't even know they're connected.
</WeirdBeard> Sometimes I do stupid stuff, and I don't even know why...as if my body were controlled by some demented, sadistic puppet-master.
[peanut-gallery] ctate says, "boing! spring snake!"
lpsmith exclaims, "The winner is Lost Pig, by Admiral Jota!"
[peanut-gallery] (from Jota) The cylinder contains fresh iEnvelope batteries!
Sargent says, "Yay Jota!"
zarf says, "Yay!"
[peanut-gallery] Emily says, "ha ha"
DavidW says, "hooray!"
Emily says, "woo!"
nm says, "woot"
Merk exclaims, "Congrats!!!!!!"
ctate says, "Woo!"
McMartin exclaims, "Yay Pig!"
Miseri says, "clap clap clap!"
duesen exclaims, "jota jota!"
Emerald says, "Yay!"
Baryon claps cheerily
djfletch exclaims, "wooooooooo!!!"
Celestianpower exclaims, "Woo! Yay! Woo!"
Otto says, "gruik gruiiiik"
Emerald cheers Lost Pig
Merk claps wildly for Grunk and the gang!
Lee says, ""congrats jota!""
Jota climbs up to the podium and politely shoves lpsmith aside.
lpsmith updates the BEST GAME entry on the chalkboard.
Nitku cheers wildly
Jota says, "So."
Sargent says, "Your speech is stored in the iEnvelope."
Jota says, "I'd like to start by thanking my beta-testers -- Emily Short, Jacqueline Lott, Sam Ashwell, Dan Shiovitz, and Jason Dyer (who is helping out with the upcoming re-release)."
duesen giggles.
[peanut-gallery] ctate says (to Sargent), "shh; Grunk will want to eat it"
[peanut-gallery] zarf says, "pig sweep!"
Jota says, "Their bug reports and suggestions were of infinite value, even in the parts of the transcripts where they didn't even know they were making suggestions."
Jota says, "And I'd also like to thank Zarf, Emily, and Adam for not releasing major new works this year."
duesen laughs.
lpsmith laughs.
Miseri says, "heh"
Jota says, "And naturally, I have to thank the gnome and the pig and of course Grunk, who deserves this award at least as much as I do."
Ghogg cheers Grunk
Jota says, "I'm not sure what sort of creative work Grunk will be doing next. But I've since started a collaborative IF project with Juhana Leinonen."
Jota says, "If we're lucky, it might bring an amused smirk or two when it eventually comes out."
lpsmith says, "Oho."
Emily says, "yay!"
Jota says, "And if we're not lucky, it'll bring an amused smirk or two when you re-read this transcript in a few years and it's still a work in progress."
olethros says, "super!"
olethros claps thunderously.
McMartin says, "Yay for cynicism"
Merk exclaims, "Cool!"
Taleslinger says, "My name is Jack Mills. I am a pig hunter."
Jota exclaims, "And, to the rest of you who voted for or cheered for or rated or enjoyed playing or just pretended to have heard of the game: Thanks!"
Merk cheered, at least.
lpsmith claps!
Jota relinquishes the podium to the MC.
Emily claps also
olethros claps once more.
Emerald cheers
djfletch says, "grunk always think grunk game good game"
[peanut-gallery] Merk says, "Congrats to all involved. Now, I'm off to give one more stab at conquering the Luigi purple coins level in Super Mario Galaxy."
Merk waves to all.
Celestianpower applauds madly one last time
ctate asks, "now, which way to the bbq?"
lpsmith exclaims, "Well, thank you all for coming! And if you haven't played some of the nominees this year, now you know what to play!"
Celestianpower exclaims, "Bye, Merk!"
[peanut-gallery] Ghogg says, "oh man, that one is horrible"
duesen asks, "is there a bathroom around?"
Nitku asks (of Jota), "The most important thing is the smirk, whatever the reason, right?"
Taleslinger hollers, "Sorry for that annoying bit earlier. I got carried away."
[peanut-gallery] Merk says, "Tell me about it. :("
Merk exits quickly.
Merk goes home.
</Merk> Merk has disconnected from ifMUD.
Jota says (to Nitku), "Always. It's all about the smirk."
lpsmith says, "Let's give one more round of applause to all our nominees and winners."
zarf clas
[peanut-gallery] Ghogg says, "you need to do the long jumps over the swampy bits to really get over the top"
Emily cheers
ctate applauds in a big circle
djfletch applauds
zarf says, "with or without the missing letter"
lpsmith says (to ctate), "(groan)"
Guenni claps
duesen claps and claps and claps
Taleslinger applauds everyone
Celestianpower gives one more round of applause to all our nominees and winners
Sargent says, "Wait, this is applesauce."
Miseri is blushing bright red and grinning compulsively.
Emerald tries to give applause to the winners and nominees, but that action wasn't implemented.
ctate says (to lpsmith), "there's one in every crowd"
lpsmith says, "Traditionally, the post-ceremony party is in the Carousel Bar and Grill, which you can reach by going west, north, and up from here. I, uh, think."
McMartin says, "Yay everyone"
jscott leaves the auditorium to the west.
ctate leaves the auditorium to the west.
McMartin leaves the auditorium to the west.
Lee leaves the auditorium to the west.
Miseri leaves the auditorium to the west.
Celestianpower leaves the auditorium to the west.
Ghogg leaves the auditorium to the west.
Otto leaves the auditorium to the west.
Jaybird leaves the auditorium to the west.
duesen leaves the auditorium to the west.
lpsmith exclaims, "Thank you all, and good night!"