On March 12th, 2005, at 4:00 P.M. EST (10:00 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you not wish to see those comments, an expurgated version is also available.
lpsmith says, "And now, back to the ceremony! We once again call zarf to the stage, to present the nominees and winner for 'Best Puzzles'."
zarf says, "hi hi hi"
Jacqueline says, "Yay zarf."
zarf says, "I see we're running behind, so I'll cut straight to the point:"
wojohz says, "go zarf go"
zarf says, "Puzzles!"
klimas says, "yay point cutting!"
zarf says, "puzzles are what bring us together."
Rob says, "rah"
jmac exclaims, "But first, a cartoon!"
[peanut-gallery] Thrax says, "Bwessed, bwessed puzzles, a dweam wiffin a dweam."
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "the captain, tennille, and zarf"
zarf says, "In a game of true complexific... um... synergies... moment of realiziation..."
inky says, "puzzles lead to hint requests, which lead to newsgroups, which lead to, uh, whatever those lead to"
DrewMochak says, "Flame wars."
HairBrain says, "Awards!"
zarf says, "Oh, hit it with a rock. You know you want to."
zarf says, "Solves anything."
HairBrain says, "Flaming awards! With rock!"
Guest1 says, "true dat"
inky says, "it worked in Wishbringere"
Bishop says, "That's what The Edifice taught me, anyways."
zarf says, "So, the 2005 nominees for Best Use of Rocks in Achieving Your Goal..."
maga says (to Bishop), "I liked the Z:GI version"
zarf says, "Building, by Mike Tulloch!"
inky says, "hooray for cubicles"
Merk says, "All these really had rocks?""
zarf says, "Cheiron, by Sarah Clelland and Elisabeth Polli!"
Merk says, "Woo"
Merk says, "I don't remember rocks in Cheiron..."
Jacqueline says, "YAY"
maga says, "yay unsolveable puzzle"
olethros says, "hee :)"
inky says (to Merk), "well, technically they're gallstones"
Bishop's hands percussively palpate each other, or something.
zarf says, "Distress, by Mike Snyder!"
Merk says (to inky), "ooooh. Yeah."
[peanut-gallery] zarf says (to bishop), "eww"
Merk exclaims, "Yay me!"
Jacqueline says, "woo"
Guest1 exclaims, "yay distress!!"
inky says, "definitely rocked"
wojohz says, "yay Mike"
olethros says, "yay once more"
zarf says, "Finding Martin, by Gayla Wennstrom!"
maga says, "yay dangerous field medical procedures"
ErWenn leaps to his feet and cheers, "Way to go, Mom!"
Merk says, "Yay Martin"
inky says, "yay large puzzle game"
Recchi exclaims, "yay!"
olethros exclaims, "Ole!"
wojohz says, "woo Finding"
Jacqueline says, "yay"
Rob applauds for puzzle games in general
zarf says, "Vespers, by Jason Devlin!"
Norah says, "yay"
sdee exclaims, "woo!"
klimas says, "yay"
Eric claps again.
Merk exclaims, "Yay Monks!"
olethros exclaims, "Bizz!"
maga exclaims, "yay sinfulness!"
Guest1 exclaims, "yay vespy baby!!"
Jacqueline applauds a whole bunch.
wojohz says, "woo Vespers"
zarf says, "And, the envelope..."
ErWenn provides a drumroll.
zarf attempts to open the envelope
zarf attempts to unlock the envelope
Norah says, "pdrrrrrrr"
Trumgottist waves a big rock.
Bishop exclaims, "Hit it with a rock!"
olethros says, "damn, I didn't think of writing a XYZZY theme song"
DrewMochak says, "Rezrov it."
koblin looks for his REZROV scroll.
zarf goes in with lockpicks
jmac says, "Watch out for scorpions"
olethros says, "haha"
Merk says, "argh phone again"
HairBrain says, "Pliers! Pliers!"
ErWenn exclaims, "go back in time to make it so it was always open!"
zarf pushes over a pillar which knocks over two statues which animate three fountains which turn four gears which open the envelope
inky says, "hooray"
Rob says, "yay"
Jacqueline says, "Hooray!"
klimas says, "cool"
JasonD exclaims, "It was so obvious!"
GregB arrives from the west.
olethros exclaims, "deductive skills!"
zarf pulls a rock from the envelope,.
Jacqueline says (to JasonD), "heehee"
Merk says, "LOL"
jmac says, "Someone read the walkthrough"
olethros says, "haha"
inky says, "ha ha ha"
zarf says, "The winner is: Distress, by Mike Snyder!"
maga says, "yay"
Bishop exclaims, "Woo!"
Norah exclaims, "yay!"
Merk exclaims, "OMG!"
olethros exclaims, "Hooray!"
inky says, "yay!"
JasonD exclaims, "YAY!"
sdee cheers loudly
DrewMochak exclaims, "Yyyaaaahoooo-ooooo!"
klimas says, "woot"
Merk says, "**faints**"
Guest1 exclaims, "yikes! congrats!"
olethros exclaims, "Utter Puzzliness!"
Thrax looks distressed.
jmac says, "ROCK \m/"
Trumgottist throws his rock.
Eric cheers ecstatically.
wojohz cheers Mike
HairBrain says, "Stoning! Stoning!"
HairBrain says, "I mean, speech!"
cendare arrives from the west.
olethros says, "for a moment I thought zarf was going to throw the rock at something"
Merk exclaims, "Thank you thank you thank you! I'm amazed! I'm thrilled! I'm honored!"
eileen applauds mightily
zarf gives Best Puzzles 2005 XYZZY to Merk.
wojohz says, "hey, that's Emily's"
Merk says, "Thanks!! *takes a humble bow*"
Bishop says (to wojohz), "Heh."
Norah claps again
wojohz keeps applauding
lpsmith returns to the stage, clapping for Merk.
wojohz stops applauding, starts clapping
DrewMochak says, "...I'd just like to mention that I'm now three for three in games I betatest ending up winning heaps of rewards. ^___^"
Norah says, "You are awesome Drew Mochak"
Rob claps for testers
Merk asks (of drew), "Were you on the Distress test?"
inky says, "Best Use of Drew"
Bishop asks (of DrewMochak), "You've got.... 'connections'?"
Lee cheers for testers
olethros says, "haha"
Merk says, "I forget. My brain is fried."
DrewMochak says, "Yeah. I'm Lysander. ^^"