On March 12th, 2005, at 4:00 P.M. EST (10:00 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you not wish to see those comments, an expurgated version is also available.

 

Massive Auditorium
Atmospheric fog coils across the floor of the auditorium, sliding beneath the plush seats and around the base of the black stone pillars. Zombie waiters shamble about, proffering dark silver trays loaded with canapes and wineglasses full of some ancient vintage. A stage at the front of the room is the sole bright spot in the room, emblazoned with "2005 XYZZYS".

You can see: READ THIS PLEASE, xyzzy drinking game, a chalkboard listing the XYZZY Award winners
Visible Exits: west
inky has teleported you to Massive Auditorium.
lpsmith materializes.
inky arrives from the west.
Jota arrives from the west.
Bishop arrives from the west.
katre arrives from the west.
Norah arrives from the west.
klimas arrives from the west.
Merk arrives from the west.
maga arrives from the west.
Emily arrives from the west.
Jacqueline arrives from the west.
JasonD arrives from the west.
Jaybird arrives from the west.
n00b arrives from the west.
sdee arrives from the west.
zarf arrives from the west.
koblin arrives from the west.
GaylaW arrives from the west.
Merk says, "Man, I'd never have found this without following people. :)"
Lee arrives from the west.
Bishop says, "I love xyzzy-time. So many new users."
Guest3 arrives from the west.
inky concentrates, and disappears.
inky walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
Kali walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice her approaching it from the other side.
Rob arrives from the west.
Jaybird drops Note for the Xyzzy awards.
ErWenn arrives from the west.
inky hollers, "'xyzzy' to come to the auditorium"
Rob says, "boo, normally I'm first in"
[peanut-gallery] * koblin has joined the channel.
DrewMochak arrives from the west.
Recchi walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
Guest2 arrives from the west.
ChainGangGuy walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice it approaching it from the other side.
K-Y materializes.
zarf concentrates, and disappears.
zarf walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
Emily says (to Rob), "you can still have the very front seat"
Merk says, "I hate telnet. I'm gonna try connecting with java client. I assume somebody is logging."
[peanut-gallery] * ErWenn has joined the channel.
[peanut-gallery] * n00b has joined the channel.
Jaybird asks (of inky), "Maybe you should put a timed lock on that exit?"
Guest1 arrives from the west.
Merk leaves the auditorium to the west.
robgrassi arrives from the west.
Recchi exclaims (at chainga), "Hi there!"
olethros walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
Recchi says (to CGG), "Whoops"
[peanut-gallery] * JasonD has joined the channel.
Jaybird says, "Ok it's now officially 4:00"
ChainGangGuy asks, "I'm excited to be here?"
DrewMochak points and laughs at Robb.
Merk walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
inky says (to ChainGangGuy), "I hope so!"
Jota pulls up a LA-Z-BOY recliner in the third (and, when reclined, second and fourth) row(s).
Rob has arrived.
Thrax arrives from the west.
HairBrain arrives from the west.
Rob takes an aisle seat.
HairBrain asks, "Ooh! Ooh! What'd I miss?"
jmac walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
(From Thrax) Rob drops an aisle seat.
zarf says, "hi"
Rob says (to HB), "you missed it again!"
jmac howdies
ParserGirl arrives from the west.
olethros says, "haha"
HairBrain says, "dang"
Jacqueline takes a seat.
DrewMochak says, "The awards are over, man."
olethros makes fake crowd noises.
HairBrain tries to remember where he put his crowd noise recordings.
Thrax says, "the awardees listed on the chalkboard are suspiciously familiar"
Guest1 says, "welcome to 2005"
inky says, "nuts, I forgot to erase the chalkboard"
Eric arrives from the west.
DrewMochak gets out his MP3 player so that he can broadcast the sound of crickets chirping whenever Larry the cable guy makes a joke.
olethros resets his watch.
Bishop exclaims (at klimas), "Congrats! Again!"
maga accosts a zombie waiter and acquires a fruity girl drink
wojohz walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
Thrax says, "2005 XYZZYs? we'll be here for a while"
Jon arrives from the west.
[peanut-gallery] * wojohz has joined the channel.
DrewMochak says, "Hey, you cna't win the same award for hte same game twice. Nice try."
[peanut-gallery] Allen asks, "how do people know to join the peanut-gallery?"
Rob practices clapping with one hand
Thrax says, "he would've gotten away with it if it weren't for you pesky kids"
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "there's a sign here"
Jearl walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice her approaching it from the other side.
[peanut-gallery] wojohz says, "and from transcripts"
Jaybird asks (of inky), "Hey is that chalkboard just any old object or does it have secret verbs authorized people can use to add or change winners?"
inky says, "it's just a regular chalkboard"
[peanut-gallery] * jmac has joined the channel.
[peanut-gallery] olethros asks, "is that what the channel was for in the first place?"
Thrax scrapes his nails on the chalkboard
[peanut-gallery] Allen says, "yeah"
[peanut-gallery] jess says, "hunh"
olethros throws a chalk at Thrax.
Thrax claps the erasers
Lee covers his ears
olethros pinches the bottom of the girl in front.
olethros says, "Just like being in high school"
Jacqueline says, "eep"
Jacqueline says (to olethros), "Stop that."
[peanut-gallery] Allen says, "at least, I think so."
olethros says, "oh, hi jacq. I didn't know it was you"
Jacqueline says, "Sure sure."
maga says (to olethros), "seriously, dude, she could kick your ass eight ways to Wednesday"
jess walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice her approaching it from the other side.
Jacqueline laughs at maga.
olethros says (to maga), "my point exactly"
[peanut-gallery] Allen says, "it was the only channel I was on for about a year after channels were created. I didn't know why the lounge was getting quieter and quieter"
Rob says, "she how she taunts him with laughter"
Guest1 asks, "when does it start?"
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "ha ha"
olethros asks, "should the lights be dimmed or not?"
Rob says, "momentarily"
Thrax says, "this seems like light turnout"
inky says (to Guest1), "just as soon as the anticipation builds sufficiently!"
DrewMochak says, "It started four hours ago, this is just hte after-awards boozeup."
The lights dim!
olethros looks at teh anticipation dial.
maga says, "when inky finds his dress pants"
(From Norah) >cls
Guest2 asks, "Will Ray Charles be performing?"
Merk says (to Norah), "Hola"
olethros says (to guest), "I hate to break it to you but.."
DrewMochak says, "I am Ray Charles."
maga says (to Guest2), "quite possibly, although not here"
klimas laughs.
olethros says, "Ray Charles has been reincarnated"
wojohz exclaims (at Norah), "you're gonna win!"
Norah says (to wojohz), "Calm down man"
wojohz exclaims, "awards you're not up for!"
wojohz calms down.
olethros asks, "so, how does one get to win one of them awards?"
ErWenn goes home.
Rob says, "first, write a game"
Norah says (to olethros), "It is random"
DrewMochak says, "Making a game is usually a good start."
Rob says, "then, make it good"
HairBrain says, "step 3, profit"
ErWenn arrives from the west.
olethros asks, "how about using intrusive advertising for a game that does not exist?"
maga says, "then, bribe the five people who actually vote in the first round"
olethros says (to maga), "point"
inky has arrived.
DrewMochak says, "First you make the game. Then you win the XYZZYs. Then you get the women."
wojohz says, "and the rest follows"
Bill Conti starts up the orchestra.
[peanut-gallery] ParserGirl asks, "Is this channel off the transcripts?"
wojohz says, "i'm not sure what 'the rest' is, but it must be sweet"
[peanut-gallery] klimas says, "nay"
[peanut-gallery] Rob asks, "off? what fun would that be??"
[peanut-gallery] Norah says, "I've seen it in two versions"
[peanut-gallery] zarf says, "when I grab transcripts, I incldue this channel"
DrewMochak gets up on stage and starts playing drums to amuse the crowd before the show begins.
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "it's sometimes separated into its own column"
[peanut-gallery] zarf says, "I'm not doing it this year, though"
[peanut-gallery] klimas asks, "hm, I guess sarge isn't with us?"
[peanut-gallery] Norah asks, "You're not grabbing this at all eh?"
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "yeah, he's out of town"
Rob claps
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "I'll be sending a transcript to him"
[peanut-gallery] olethros says, "I am logging everything, fwiw"
DrewMochak exclaims, "Did it all for yoooooooou!"
[peanut-gallery] Bishop asks, "ANy open betting pools this year?"
DrewMochak air-guitars.
Lee morphs into Andy Kaufman and joins DrewMochak on stage