On March 12th, 2005, at 4:00 P.M. EST (10:00 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you not wish to see those comments, an expurgated version is also available.

 

lpsmith steps up to the front of the auditorium, and a spotlight illuminates him.
[peanut-gallery] Norah says, "Glad someone is, since I'm in a Java window"
[peanut-gallery] olethros asks, "doesn't alex have a log?"
zarf says, "yay"
lpsmith exclaims, "Welcome, everyone, to the XYZZY awards for the Best Games of 2005!"
Jacqueline claps!
maga says, "woo"
Rob claps.
Guest1 says, "clap"
sdee applauds
olethros says, "ELA"
maga claps
Merk says, "wooo"
Norah clapping
jmac says, "ibid"
olethros stamps his foot.
DrewMochak does a 30-second version of Ticks and Leeches then steps down.
Lee claps and gets down from the stage
Guest2 exclaims, "Ray Charles! Ray Charles!"
Lee exclaims, "Whooo hoo!"
JasonD exclaims, "yay!"
Jota asks, "We're all just here to play #tomb, right?"
lpsmith says, "Eileen, our traditional host, will be with us in spirit for the majority of the awards, but with any luck, she'll be here in time to award the Best Game."
olethros throws a peanut at Jota.
wojohz concentrates, and disappears.
wojohz walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
DrewMochak says, "...And now i get ot figure out how to inject cocaine while blindfolded."
[peanut-gallery] Allen says, "unless he's told to log it's not permament"
[peanut-gallery] wojohz says, "i guess i could've just hit names"
[peanut-gallery] Jota says, "PerrySimm is the traditional logger."
jess taunts Happy Fun Ball.
[peanut-gallery] maga says, "it's getting to where Eileen turning up late and scattered is the *real* tradition"
zarf says, "zz snrkl"
[peanut-gallery] Norah asks, "PerrySimm is a bot?"
[peanut-gallery] Jota says, "Seventeen mighty British Colombian forests have fallen before his long reach."
zarf asks, "what?"
[peanut-gallery] * DrewMochak has joined the channel.
[peanut-gallery] wojohz says, "this is my first time attending the awards, but i've read transcripts"
[peanut-gallery] olethros says, "who is PerrySimm and who is Eileen, I wondr"
lpsmith exclaims, "So, without further ado: here's zarf, to announce the finalists and the winner of the Best Use of Medium!"
Guest4 arrives from the west.
[peanut-gallery] Jota says (to Norah), "More or less."
zarf says, "Oh great"
Rob claps for zarf.
zarf runs towards stage
inky says, "zarf!"
jmac hrays
zarf says, "(in slow motion)"
maga claps
olethros says, "Go for it zarf"
[peanut-gallery] wojohz says, "and now that i've read the drinking game rules i know why people cheer so much"
Lee claps for zarf
Bishop exclaims, "zarf! zarf! zarf!"
Rob cl aa a a p s
zarf says, "Hi everybody!"
Merk says, "hola"
zarf says, "I've been asleep."
robgrassi says, "whoooooo"
zarf says, "Actually, I *am* asleep."
[peanut-gallery] Jota says (to olethros), "Eileen is Eileen Mullin, editor of XYZZYnews and foudn of the awards."
olethros snickers.
jmac nods in silent agreement.
[peanut-gallery] Allen says, "I'm completely out of the loop about xyzzy traditions. I haven't been to any since 1999"
zarf says, "You are all the ghoooosts of memooooory"
[peanut-gallery] Rob asks, "there's a xyzzy awards drinking game?"
[peanut-gallery] Jota says, "Founder, even."
Lee giggles
zarf says, "inky, for example, represents my third-grade teacher."
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says (to Rob), "Yeah, you drink whenever someone claps."
Rob chuckles
olethros narrows his eyes and looks critically at inky.
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "good gravy"
[peanut-gallery] DrewMochak says, "And PRism's just this guy, you know."
[peanut-gallery] Allen asks, "Eileen was like the first or second player on the mud wasn't she?"
zarf says, "The parrot in the far corner represents -- um, a parrot. I think."
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says, "And if you haven't killed yourself before the first award, you're doing it wrong."
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "ha"
AWwwwk.
lpsmith says, "Apparrotly."
olethros says, "hee"
[peanut-gallery] wojohz says, ">x xyzzy drinking game"
zarf says, "And this trophy in my hand represnets the Best Use of Medium 2005! Woot it, folks"
Rob says, "woot"
olethros says, "hooray"
Jacqueline says, "Hooray!"
ParserGirl says, "So wooted."
maga says, "duly wooted"
jmac says, "arugula"
Jaybird exclaims, "Woot!"
inky says, "hooray!"
wojohz says, "w00t"
Allen walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
sdee woots
Kali exclaims, "woot!"
zarf considers making a 'best use of medium' / 'eileen is here in spirit' joke
zarf says, "But no."
wojohz says, "/root"
jmac says, "Too late."
Jacqueline snickers.
[peanut-gallery] Allen says, "crap why was I in the lounge? I came here twice"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "oh yeah"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "oops, that's a huge book object"
maga says, "ouch"
zarf points at jmac. "SILENCE KNAVE"
DrewMochak exclaims, "ofmg! w00+! +||1s 1s t3h b3s+ +1m3 0f my 133+ 11f3111!1!111!"
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says, "Ow my eyes."
jmac falls over silently, where he will remain unmoving for the rest of the afternoon. Let this be a lesson to you all.
zarf says, "He represents my desire to work fifteen hours a day on bizarre software projects."
[peanut-gallery] Jota says (to Allen), "You keep getting disconnected. And have an autocmd to relounge you when you log on."
zarf says, "I don't know how he got in here."
zarf says, "But anyway."
[peanut-gallery] Allen says, "I thought I typed it after I reconnected"
zarf says, "Nominees!"
zarf says, "(note how I skip the part where I explain what this award is for.)"
zarf says, "The finalists are:"
Guest1 asks, "what is this award for?"
wojohz says, "the winner"
Bishop says, "'What is this award for, zarf?'"
zarf says, "A New Life, by Alexandre Owen Muniz"
Rob claps for mystery and enigma
Rob applauds
lpsmith claps.
sdee claps
inky says, "woo"
klimas says, "yay"
Bishop applauds.
[peanut-gallery] Norah says, "Best Use of Spacing"
Jacqueline applauds.
Lee claps
Rob **
wojohz says, "huzzah"
Kali applause
Norah says, "yay"
zarf says, "Book and Volume, by Nick Montfort!"
JasonD exclaims, "Way to go Alexandre!"
Jacqueline applauds.
wojohz exclaims, "nm!"
Rob claps
sdee claps
JasonD says, "And Nick"
ParserGirl claps.
Rob says, "en em en em"
Lee claps
inky says, "throw the book at him"
zarf says, "Distress, by Mike Snyder!"
olethros says, "yeah"
Jacqueline applauds.
Rob CLONK
maga says, "yay"
Merk says, "yay me."
sdee claps some more
olethros claps
Norah claps
Rob claps
inky says, "yay"
Guest1 says, "yay distress"
wojohz says, "yah hugo"
ParserGirl hurrahs.
zarf says, "Mystery House Possessed, by Emily Short!"
Lee claps
Allen huzzahs.
Merk exclaims, "Wooo!"
maga exclaims, "yay!"
DrewMochak bangs a coup
Guest1 says, "yay mystery"
ParserGirl cheers.
inky says, "hooray for MHTO"
Jacqueline says, "Woo!"
Rob applauds
klimas claps.
sdee claps
Norah claps
zarf says, "Whom The Telling Changed, by Aaron A. Reed!"
DrewMochak bangs a couple cocanuts together.
Rob claps more
sdee applauds
Jacqueline applauds.
wojohz yay aar
ChainGangGuy says, "This is more exciting than I thought it'd be."
Merk exclaims, "Good luck to all!"
Lee claps
robgrassi says, "a great game"
olethros claps
zarf asks, "So, do I have an envelope?"
Norah claps
zarf says, "Hm. No."
zarf says, "Fortunately, I am asleep."
zarf dreams he has an envelope.
DrewMochak says, "Due to budget constraints, the envelope has been downsized to an infinit stasis tube."
maga asks, "more importantly, do you have pants?"
ParserGirl says, "Dream yourself some pants while you're at it."
koblin smiles.
olethros says, "haha"
zarf says, "Also, you are all butterflies. In case anyone asks."
Rob flutters
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says, "I thought _he_ was a butterfly."
zarf says, "The winner of Best Use of Medium..."
Allen says (to Rob), "oh no a hurricane in China!"
Lee flaps his wings
ParserGirl butters
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "ha ha"
wojohz says, "zyxwvutsrqpoNMlkjihgfedcba"
zarf says, "Mystery House Possessed, by Emily Short!"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "!!!"
[peanut-gallery] olethros says, "we are _all_ butterflies in this new state of being. Sans pants."
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says (to Allen), "Yay!"
Guest1 says, "clap"
klimas says, "woot!"
jmac yays
maga exclaims, "yay!"
JasonD exclaims, "Woot!"
Rob applauds!
sdee says, "woo"
DrewMochak is the fly to ParserGIrls' butter.
HairBrain says, "Hooray!"
Lee claps
Thrax exclaims, "yay!"
koblin claps
Jota applauds.
lpsmith cheers!
ParserGirl cheers!
olethros says, "hah"
[peanut-gallery] maga says, "fuck you all, I'm Chuang Tzu"
wojohz says, "yay Emily Short"
Bishop exclaims, "Woo!"
Emily says, "oh, hey"
Norah Yay!
Jacqueline claps and claps.
Merk exclaims, "Wooo!"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "sneaky win by I7"
Eric applauds
olethros says, "YEeee"
Jacqueline says, "Hooray!"
inky says, "woot"
Lee exclaims, "whooo hoo!"
zarf says, "Hm, what's the give command"
olethros exclaims, "hooray, emily!"
Jacqueline says, "Go Em!"
robgrassi says, "good"
inky says, "give trophy = emily"
maga says, "go Emily"
zarf gives Best Puzzles 2005 XYZZY to Emily.
ParserGirl says (to Emily), "Wake up and claim your eternal glory."
inky says, "hee hee"
zarf says, "And there we have it."
Rob asks, "is she here?"
GaylaW says, "wtg"
Jearl claps
zarf sits down and wakes up
HairBrain says, "Puzzles! Excellent!"
Rob claps
Kali clap!
zarf asks, "zz. What?"
Emily says, "I don't have anything prepared to say because mostly I've been writing my dissertation instead"
wojohz says, "speech"
olethros says, "This is the first time that both the awarder and the awardee have been asleep"
inky says, "when you wake up, give her the other trophy instead"
lpsmith exclaims, "That'll do!"
Jacqueline says (to Emily), "Good girl."
[peanut-gallery] Thrax says, "I hear Jacek is insisting that everyone on r*if share the award"
Rob says, "the-sis! the-sis!"
maga exclaims (at Emily), "let's hear an extract!"
klimas says, "ha!"
Jacqueline says (to maga), "Sh!"
zarf says, "heh. Wrong trophy. Oh well"
Jacqueline says, "I mean, great idea."
Emily says, "but thanks! and I should also thank Dan Shiovitz and Nick Montfort who worked with me on this project, and Graham"
Allen says, "Footnote #17!"
olethros says, "yay, extract"
Emily says, "and as a special treat I will spare you any bits from the thesis"
zarf gives Best Use of Medium 2005 XYZZY to Emily.
Rob claps
Emily sits
ParserGirl claps.
Lee exclaims, "congrats to emily!"
Guest1 says, "cheer"
Rob says, "hermetically sealed trophy"
Thrax exclaims, "yay ancient Greek!"
inky says (to Rob), "hee hee"