On March 12th, 2005, at 4:00 P.M. EST (10:00 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you not wish to see those comments, an expurgated version is also available.

 

lpsmith returns to the stage.
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says, "I played Tough Beans and panned it. But, hey, still happy for Sara Dee. My opinion is not law, clearly."
[peanut-gallery] Thrax says, "yeah, I wish I'd played most of these games"
[peanut-gallery] olethros asks, "was it in ifcomp?"
[peanut-gallery] wojohz asks, "is it like this for others: a textdump about every thirty seconds?"
lpsmith says, "The next award is for the Best Individual NPC. Bernie was not nominated this year."
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "I appreciated it for being something more positive in spirit among a lot of negative vibe comp games"
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says, "Yeah."
[peanut-gallery] Norah asks, "It placed 5th yeah?"
[peanut-gallery] Allen says, "you need to soak your beans overnight before putting them in the pan"
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says (to olethros), "Those were, I think, the only games I played this year."
Jaybird cheers!
[peanut-gallery] Fang says, "I might play some of the winners here. I'm definitely planning to play Vespers..."
[peanut-gallery] DrewMochak says, "I forgot these were coming up, else i woulda played the nominees."
lpsmith exclaims, "But here to present the award, we have Audrey from Necrotic Drift!"
Jacqueline says, "Yay!"
Rob claps
maga exclaims, "woohoo!"
Audrey has arrived.
Jacqueline says, "Oh, Goddes, it's Audrey!"
Lee claps
wojohz says, "yay Aud"
inky says, "he's still waiting for the right breakout accounting role to appear"
Jacqueline says, "Goddess, even."
sdee claps
Eric claps with moderate enthusiasm.
Audrey exclaims, "Hello, everyone! Thank you all so much for the opportunity to present the XYZZY Award for Best Individual Non-Player Character!"
maga hides his dice
Lee exclaims, "whoo hoo!"
[peanut-gallery] Norah says, "I'm not plagued by text dumps here currently"
Dave arrives from the west.
wojohz says, "best-Case scenario"
DrewMochak waves his phone number.
Audrey says, "The characters on the list are all very deserving. So deserving that we'd like to use this big bag of dice to help us announce the nominees."
[peanut-gallery] Thrax says (to Jacqueline), "the Goddes tell you to Go to the Shoppe"
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "I just remember her saying that all the time in the game. Made me giggle."
HairBrain says, "Cookies!"
ChainGangGuy exclaims, "Dicey!"
Audrey says, "The first nominee for Best NPC is..."
[peanut-gallery] olethros says, "oh, OK, my review says that I had indeed liked the PC"
Dave concentrates, and disappears.
Dave walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
Audrey rolls a twelve-sided die
Audrey consults a Dungeon Master's screen
Audrey exclaims, "Our first nominee is Cecilia, from the game Vespers, by Jason Devlin!"
Rob claps
maga exclaims, "critical hit!"
sdee cheers
koblin claps.
[peanut-gallery] wojohz says, "you were right, Norah, it's random"
Eric applauds
DrewMochak exclaims, "Yay!"
Jacqueline says, "Hubba hubba."
Guest1 exclaims, "cecilia!"
Norah clapping
Lee cheers
Merk exclaims, "Woooo Jasond!"
Lee claps
olethros says, "go, delicecilia.."
skeleton walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice it approaching it from the other side.
[peanut-gallery] Norah says, "heh"
Audrey says, "Our second nominee is..."
DrewMochak says, "Aw bloody hell, an infestation."
skeleton exclaims, "All Hope Abandon!"
skeleton exclaims, "All Hope Abandon!"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "er"
[peanut-gallery] Thrax says, "okay, we're abandoning"
Audrey exclaims, "That's a great point, skelly. We'd better not leave that one to the roll of a die. The second nominee is Agrath, from All Hope Abandon by Eric Eve!"
Allen says, "Lasciate ogni speranza"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "it's eric eve's bones"
[peanut-gallery] olethros says, "hee"
sdee claps
Jacqueline applauds.
wojohz exclaims, "yay game i played yesterday!"
JasonD exclaims, "Go Eric!"
Lee claps
olethros claps.
Rob claps
[peanut-gallery] Norah says, "There was a skeleton in Necrotic Drift pretty sure"
Audrey asks, "Could a member of the audience be so kind to punch the skeleton for me?"
Rob punches the skeleton
HairBrain asks, "Will they win a prize?"
wojohz ditto
olethros exclaims, "prize-fight!"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "I hope that isn't a euphemism"
Jacqueline does an elbow takedown on the skeleton.
DrewMochak totally flips out on teh skeleton.
skeleton breaks up into a thousand little pieces
inky says, "full damage from bludgeoning attacks"
skeleton goes home.
Bishop kicks the skull.
Rob says, "take THAT"
Jacqueline says, "YAY"
wojohz throws computer monitor at skeleton
[peanut-gallery] Norah asks, "shit you can die here?"
olethros asks, "is that a fortune-skeleton?"
[peanut-gallery] inky fixes chalkboard.
Audrey says, "Thanks! As for our third nominee --"
Rob levels up.
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says (to Norah), "Better watch out."
[peanut-gallery] klimas says, "It's like the Matrix."
[peanut-gallery] ParserGirl says, "No, that was just an emote."
DrewMochak turns into Chuck Noris and kicks him to pieces with a roundhouse kick.
jmac exclaims, "Wait... it's full of delicious candy!!"
[peanut-gallery] ParserGirl succumbs to plague!
[peanut-gallery] Bishop hits Norah with a longsword, for 23 HP of damage. Norah has 3 HP left.
BRAAAAaaAaAIiinnnnss walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice it approaching it from the other side.
Rob says, "ahhh"
[peanut-gallery] Norah exclaims, "You almost cruficied me!"
Audrey says, "Oh, Goddess, here we go."
[peanut-gallery] Bishop exclaims (at Norah), "Yay!"
[peanut-gallery] klimas says, "oh man, this is too much"
[peanut-gallery] Fang says (to Norah), "Haha"
HairBrain asks, "Zombie pinjata! Where's me poking-stick?"
BRAAAAaaAaAIiinnnnss says, "..Audrey ..."
ParserGirl says, "Shoot it in the head!"
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "Yay saying oh Goddess."
[peanut-gallery] Fang asks, "Why didn't Jesus win best PC?"
Audrey exclaims, "That's right! Our third nominee has no name. It's the storyteller from Whom the Telling Changed by Aaron A. Reed!"
maga asks (of zombie), "shouldn't you be serving drinks?"
[peanut-gallery] Merk says, "How do you re-talk on the last channel you talked? I know there is a quick way..."
[peanut-gallery] Norah says, "He's the best on so many levels"
inky says, "uh-oh, one of the waiters can gone feral"
Rob claps
[peanut-gallery] Norah says, "semicolon"
inky says, "woo storyteller"
Jacqueline applauds.
Merk exclaims, "Good luck, storyteller!"
Merk asks, "Is AAR here?"
Norah claps
Lee claps
Eric applauds
Audrey rolls a twenty-sided die towards the zombie
[peanut-gallery] Jota says (to Norah), "I hate eels."
olethros puts his hands together.
BRAAAAaaAaAIiinnnnss steps on the twenty-sided die and slips, knocking himself out.
DrewMochak exclaims, "Empty half a clip of 5.65 assault rifle amunition into its gut to make it as gorey as possible before you think to shoot in in the head!"
(From olethros) It explodes.
[peanut-gallery] wojohz says, "yeah: semicolon hey everybody"
Audrey exclaims, "Okay! This brings us to our fourth nominee!"
JasonD says, "I don't think so, Mike"
[peanut-gallery] wojohz says, ";"
[peanut-gallery] (from Rob) Merk says, "semicolon is this right?"
revenant walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice it approaching it from the other side.
revenant asks, "ARE ANY OF YOU... MY KILLER?"
maga says (to Audrey), "you're totally going to level up before you reach the award"
Audrey says, "..revenant "As I understand it, Ralph from Flat Feet (a game by Joel Ray Holveck!) was your killer."
lpsmith says, "Not me."
ParserGirl claps.
Rob points at someone else
Audrey applauds
[peanut-gallery] Merk says, "Says I don't have a default channel. I guess I can check the FAQ. :)"
klimas says, "yay"
DrewMochak points at George W. Bush.
Lee claps
HairBrain says, "XP! XP!"
Eric claps.
sdee claps
Merk exclaims, "Good luck Ralph!"
[peanut-gallery] Norah says, "I think if you do a #p-g sthg, you should be able to ;sthg thence"
Audrey says, "RIGHT. I'M OFF THEN, TO FIND THIS 'RALPH.' HIS ENTRAILS, HIS FLESH AND HIS BONES WILL BE AS FLAT AS THESE FEET YOU MENTION"
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "; should work if you have just typed on a channel and haven't mistyped a channel name afterwards"
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says (to Merk), "If you talked on this channel last, it should be your default channel. Unless that's an option or something."
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "ha ha ha"
[peanut-gallery] Emily says, "ha ha ha"
Audrey says, "heh"
maga says (to Audrey), "aie possession"
[peanut-gallery] klimas says, "er oops"
[peanut-gallery] Merk says, "I really liked Gilded. Didn't know until recently that A. Hazard was John Evans."
DrewMochak exclaims, "You! You're not hte real Audrey!"
Audrey exclaims, "Beware of possession on this one!"
jmac snorts
[peanut-gallery] Merk says, "testing"
DrewMochak exclaims, "You're one of the kung-fu creatures on teh rampage! Three!"
[peanut-gallery] Merk says (to bishop), "It's working now. Thanks."
inky says, "we should have cast protection from evil on Audrey first"
revenant exclaims, "EXIT!"
[peanut-gallery] Norah says, "No way eh? I didn't know either."
Rob wonders who the nominee is
revenant exclaims, "/Q!!"
[peanut-gallery] Merk says (to norah), "Yup. Says so on the XYZZY nominees page."
Kali says, "WELL, THIS IS EMBARRASSING"
DrewMochak says, "Hit ctl-alt-del, revvie."
Kali goes home.
[peanut-gallery] inky laughs and laughs
wojohz says, "cast protectFromEvil = Audrey"
[peanut-gallery] olethros asks (of merk), "you didn't?"
Ian says, "finger Audrey"
Rob claps for whatever is about to happen
[peanut-gallery] olethros exclaims, "It was obvious. > CREATE !"
Audrey says, "And now, our final nominee."
DrewMochak says, "Eeeww."
Kali walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice her approaching it from the other side.
olethros asks, "hey, is this the same award?"
Rob says, "it's a long one"
[peanut-gallery] Norah says, "hmm... Good point..."
[peanut-gallery] Merk says (to olethros), "I mentioned in my review that it reminded me of "Order" but I didn't know. I don't think he "revealed" his identity with the IFComp results. I could be wrong."
Kali raises her hand
Audrey asks, "Yes, we have a question for the overdone, leather-draped Incisor Skank?"
[peanut-gallery] olethros says, "for some reason I always knew it was him"
Kali asks, "Confidently, you will not intend to forget about Val in the game "that plate with gold, ' by John Yevans as danger?"
[peanut-gallery] olethros says, "I don't remember hte pseudonym at all"
[peanut-gallery] Merk says, ""I thought it might have been the author of "Magocracy" which had a similar feel."
Audrey exclaims, "If by that you mean that the fourth nominee is Val from Gilded, by John Evans, as A Hazard... then yes, I agree!"
[peanut-gallery] zarf says, "I'm lost"
Kali smiles
Rob claps
sdee claps
Kali turns into a bat
Lee claps
Kali goes home.
Allen asks, "when does the strangling begin?"
wojohz w00ts
Audrey says, "The winner of the XYZZY Award for Best Non-Player Character is..."
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says, "Nah, Magocracy was straight fighting-stuff."
[peanut-gallery] Merk says, ""argh phone again"
BRAAAAaaAaAIiinnnnss gets up off the floor and shambles over to the stage!
Bishop drums his fingers impatiently.
BRAAAAaaAaAIiinnnnss says (to everyone), "...!!""
inky says, "uh-oh, zombie with regeneration"
Jacqueline says, "Oh NOES!"
Lee slaps his head
Audrey exclaims, "Yes, in English, the winner for Best NPC is the narrator, from Whom the Telling Changed, by Aaron A. Reed!!"
Bishop exclaims, "Woo!"
klimas says, "yay!"
inky says, "woot"
[peanut-gallery] Rob gets out his Zom-B-Gone spray
Jota claps.
zarf says, "wazoon!"
Rob claps!
olethros exclaims, "WOO!!"
Norah claps !
GaylaW applauds.
sdee exclaims, "yay!"
Jacqueline applauds.
Merk exclaims, "Yay for the storyteller!"
Audrey crams a very pointy four-sided die into the zombie's head.
koblin tries to remember the rules for turning undead.
ErWenn applauds.
Lee exclaims, "whoo hoo!"
lpsmith cheers!
JasonD says, "Good job Aaron, if you're here"
ParserGirl applauds.
jmac says, "zombie bondo"
Ian cheers
Lee claps
BRAAAAaaAaAIiinnnnss goes home.
Eric applauds loudly.
Fang stabs the zombie with a revive syringe, and claps.
DrewMochak jumps up and down.
wojohz says, "hurray for telling, hurray for changing"
Ian goes home.
Audrey asks, "Is Aaron here today?"
Rob says, "first slamdance, now this"
olethros says (to fang), "nasty"
Merk asks (of Rob), "And didn't it win Spring Thing '05 too? Or was highly ranked?"
Rob says, "I believe it did"
Rob says, "but I believe all sorts of wacky things"
lpsmith returns to the stage to accept the award on behalf of Aaron.
[peanut-gallery] Norah asks, "Is the award auctioned off if he's not here?"
eileen applauds and applauds
Rob claps
Fang applauds.
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "heh"
Norah claps
lpsmith says, "I'll be sure to get this back to him. And to apologize for the necrotic drift that's gotten on it, but hey."
[peanut-gallery] zarf says, "heh heh"
DrewMochak plays a rimshot.
Lee applauds
klimas snrks.
[peanut-gallery] Merk says, ""My creature would have appreciated a Best NPC nomination. Heheh."
[peanut-gallery] Norah says, "I liked him."
[peanut-gallery] DrewMochak says, "Hah."
lpsmith stashes the award in a drawer under the podium.
lpsmith exclaims, "Next!"
Guest2 says, "Damn. I've been sitting here for almost an hour now, and still no sign of Brother Ray."
DrewMochak says, "I *am* Ray Charles, punk."