On March 20th, 2005, at 4:00 P.M. EST (9:00 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you not wish to see those comments, an expurgated version is also available.
lpsmith says, "Dan and Star can stay on the stage, because they're also presenting the award for Best Story. Take it away, you two."
Thrax says, "yes, ample isqui"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "from now on you have to introduce yourself as XYZZY-Award Winner Jacqueline Lott"
DavidW says (to Jacqueline), "Now, you can have some of the Grand Marnier."
Dan pulls out a small, typewritten list from his jacket pocket. "The nominees for Best Story are..."
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "heehee. Aw."
[peanut-gallery] BrenBarn says, "ha ha"
[peanut-gallery] maga says, "if a bear does not present the award next year I shall be most disappointed"
"Blue Chairs, by Chris Klimas."
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline asks, "Crikey, I have to present now?"
rrafgon says, "yay"
Paul exclaims, "Yay BC!"
Fang exclaims, "Go chairs!"
Tommy cheers loudly.
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline asks, "Next year?"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "yep"
[peanut-gallery] BrenBarn says, "yes!"
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "heck yeah"
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "Eep."
"Future Boy!, by Kent Tessman."
[peanut-gallery] Fang hopes blue chairs wins.
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "perhaps it will be presented by poison ivy"
klimas says, "yay futureboy"
Gunther says, "go kent"
Recchi claps for Kent
Paul exclaims, "Hooray FB!"
Ellison says, "woo everyone"
[peanut-gallery] DavidW says, "Or that really tall tree."
"Necrotic Drift, by Robb Sherwin."
Gunther says (to Ellison), "sycophant"
klimas says, "yay nd"
Paul exclaims, "Woo hoo ND!"
"The Act of Misdirection, by Callico Harrison"
[peanut-gallery] Ellison says (to Gunther), "all because I'm trying to woo everyone? I'm just trying to GET ME SOME"
Rob says, "yay"
<ctate> ctate has connected to ifMUD.
Tommy cheers again for misdirection.
[peanut-gallery] BrenBarn says, "ha ha"
Paul exclaims, "Yahoo TAOM!"
ctate walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
Thrax says, "yay magic"
[peanut-gallery] ctate says, "(sigh)"
"The Cabal, by Stephen Bond"
Rob says, "yay"
Gunther says, "yay cabal"
Thrax says, "yay injoke"
Fang exclaims, "Yay for non-existent game!"
Paul exclaims, "Hip hip Cabal!"
Recchi exclaims, "Yay, Stephen!"
Tommy claps in case they come for him.
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline thwacks Ellison.
Rob says, "yay Radical Al as NPC"
"The Dreamhold, by Andrew Plotkin"
Kwi says, "Yay!"
Paul says, "Indeed"
Rob claps for zarf
klimas says, "yay zarf"
ctate skulks in guiltily and takes a seat at the back.
Paul exclaims, "Go Dreamhold!"
Rob says, "tough category"
inky says, "yeah"
(From Rob) A great spotlight beams down on ctate.
Star meanwhile has been rummaging through her purse. She produces two monocles and affixes one to each eye.
inky says, "hee ee"
(From Fang) It Burns! It Burns!
Dan looks more closely at the purse. "How much can you *fit* in there?"
Rob says, "ha ha, double monocle"
She fixes Dan with an icy stare and carefully tears open a small, white envelope.
BrenBarn says, "duocle"
"And the winner is..."
Rob says, "...."
"Blue Chairs, by Chris Klimas!"
Fang applauds impolitely.
maga says, "YAY"
inky says, "hooray"
BrenBarn says, "huzzah"
Paul exclaims, "HOORAY BC!"
Bishop applauds wildly.
Tommy exclaims, "Yeah, baby!"
ctate says, "WOOHOO"
baf applauds insanely
Jacqueline stands up to applaud!
[peanut-gallery] Fang exclaims, "Hurrah! At last!"
klimas stands up, walks to the stage.
[peanut-gallery] Rob asks, "is he here today?"
two-star exclaims, "Yay!"
[peanut-gallery] jon says, "ah-ha there it is yes"
Jacqueline says, "Soooo deserving."
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "oh good"
Paul claps claps hallucinates claps
Gunther says, "yay bee cee"
Fang exclaims (at klimas), "Well done!"
Jacqueline applauds some more.
StarAndDan gives Best Story 2004 XYZZY to klimas.
Recchi cheers for Chris!
klimas says, "u uuuuu uuuu uu uuuuuuuu uuuu uuuuu uu uuuuu, uuu uuuuuuuuuu uu uuuu uuuu uuu uuu uuuu uuuu."
StarAndDan exclaims, "Congrats!"
Jacqueline says, "YAY"
Rob says, "ha ha"
inky says, "ha ha ha"
Thrax says, "yay GWB scene"
JoshuaH says, "hahah"
ctate falls over.
klimas says, "uuuuu uu uuuu uu uuuuu, uuuuuuuuuuu."
half says, "Yay!"
klimas says, "uuu uu uuuuuu, uuu, uuu uuuuuu uuu uu uu uuuu u uuuuuu uu."
Bishop falls over.
klimas says, "uuuuuuuuu, uuuuuu: uuu u uuuuu uuuuu uu uuuuu uu uuuu."
[peanut-gallery] Tommy finally remembers where that smell is from.
Paul says, "HA HA HA HA HA"
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "yeah, the same to u"
klimas clears his throat.
Rob shouldn't have drunk that funny liquid
DavidW applauds for Blue Chairs
Dan looks closely at klimas. "Did you drink anything odd before you came up here?"
Fang dance dance dance.
klimas says, "... As I was saying, thanks, everyone who voted for my game. It's a real honor."
klimas sits down.
Paul exclaims, "Huuuuuuuray!"
Dan and Star exit stage left.
Jacqueline hands Klimas some black coffee.
Paul exclaims, "Wuu Huu!"
Thrax exclaims, "wear a muumuu!"
Fang hands klimas some weird orange stuff.
maga says (to Jacqueline), "better have a doughnut with that"
klimas drinks it, natch.
Rob says, "I especially like the part with the toilet"
inky says, "best use of facilities"
[peanut-gallery] jon says, "Cal will be gutted when she reads this script tomorrow"
BrenBarn says, "ha ha"
Rob says, "speaking of which"
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "aw"
Jacqueline says (to maga), "That was low."
[peanut-gallery] Bishop asks, "Cal?"
Rob sneaks out of the auditorium. His seat is filled by a special seat-filler-guy.
[peanut-gallery] jon says, "So I thought I'd better say now that BC was better"
[peanut-gallery] Jota says, "Hey, maybe whoever nominated that puzzle will read the transcript."
[peanut-gallery] Ellison says, "I liked her game a lot"
[peanut-gallery] Jota exclaims, "Whoever you are, what's the toilet puzzle? Please, tell us!"