On March 20th, 2005, at 4:00 P.M. EST (9:00 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you not wish to see those comments, an expurgated version is also available.

 

lpsmith steps forward onto the stage, and taps the mike experimentally.
Esrom disappears through an invisible gap in the MUD. You think you may have heard the sounds of chatting before the gap closed again.
Rob claps!
K-Y says, "Woo!"
inky says, "hooray"
inky applauds.
DorianX says, "Kent got a lot, but he didn't beat the spread.\"
Paul cheers politely.
[peanut-gallery] Bishop asks, "When did the name of the 'Best Use of Medium' award change?"
vbnz claps louder
lpsmith exclaims, "Greetings everyone, to the XYZZY Awards for the Best Games of 2004!"
baf stridulates
Jon claps
Eluchil applauds heartily.
Jota exclaims, "Hey, get off the stage, y'clown!"
Marvin says, "Hooray."
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "I think we are thinking it's just a typo"
maga whoops
Bishop applauds.
klimas applauds.
DavidW claps
<Hugo> Hugo has connected to ifMUD.
Eluchil claps for all the nominees.
Jon smooches Fake_Jon_ingold
Tommy claps.
Kwi claps.
JoshuaH claps.
TShatrov claps
rrafgon claps
Jacqueline applauds.
Paul cheers rudely!
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "it didn't officially"
tilp whistles
vbnz jumps for joy and misses again
Fang applauds.
Rob woof woof woof
Hugo walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
Jacqueline says, "Down boy"
BrenBarn says, "huzzah"
baf is all applaudy
Rob chants, "Hu-GO, hu-GO"
Jota says (to Rob), "Need a cough drop? It sounds like you've a dog in your throat."
lpsmith says, "Once again, we ask that people make comments on the #peanut-gallery channel, but you can clap and cheer here in the auditorium all you ant."
Fang cheers.
half claps
Eluchil asks, "Only ants can cheer?"
vbnz says, "ok boss"
[peanut-gallery] TShatrov says, "he said all you Ant"
[peanut-gallery] Jota asks (of lps), "Is that what we all look like from way up there on stage?"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "once again, we completely disregard this request"
lpsmith says, "Want."
Marvin gets caught up in the excitement, and says, "Hooray." again.
vbnz becomes an ant
lpsmith says, "ahem."
[peanut-gallery] two-star asks, "What is the sound of half clapping?"
Eluchil smiles innocently.
(From Kwi) Ant cheers.
(From DorianX) Kent thinks Rob's shouting "You, go!" over and over, and leaves, crying."
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "cl, or ap"
[peanut-gallery] Tommy falls off his chair.
lpsmith exclaims, "So, without further ado, here to announce the nominees and winner of the Best Use of Medium Award: Rob Wheeler!"
Paul exclaims, "Yay Rob!"
DavidW claps!
Eluchil applauds heartily.
Rob runs up on stage, not noticing the elevator.
Jota exclaims, "Rob!"
Bishop exclaims, "Woo!"
maga exclaims, "medium rob!"
BrenBarn says, "whoop whoop"
zarf clap
lpsmith claps and cedes the stage.
Recchi applauds
vbnz cheers
Kwi cheers.
JoshuaH applauds.
eileen applauds and whistles
Jacqueline applauds for Rob.
Rob says, "Good evening/afternoon/morning"
baf is like "Clap. Clap." and stuff
TShatrov yays
[peanut-gallery] Bishop starts editing Wikipedia entries.
[peanut-gallery] vbnz asks, "what is the award anyway?"
reese claps
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "heh baf"
K-Y clapity clapity
Tommy gets back on chair and applauds
Thrax says, "the greatest engineering feat in the history of IF: the Rob wheeler"
[peanut-gallery] Jota says, "Best Use of Medium."
[peanut-gallery] BrenBarn says, "no one really knows what it's for"
Rob says, "As you all know, the Best Use of Medium award goes to -- well, um."
[peanut-gallery] zarf says, "it's for me!"
Rob says, "Certainly it's an honor to be nominated for it!"
klimas laughs!
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "I think it might be, z."
[peanut-gallery] JoshuaH says, "It's quite open to interpretation."
[peanut-gallery] Jota says, "It's like Large, but less so."
[peanut-gallery] TShatrov asks, "do you know [[Blue Chairs]] is up for deletion?"
Rob says, "(Even if you're nominated for it because people couldn't figure out where else to nominate you.)"
vbnz is clueless
[peanut-gallery] Fang asks, "There's a wikipedia entry?"
</ifdhan> ifdhan has disconnected from ifMUD.
<ifdhan> ifdhan has connected to ifMUD.
[peanut-gallery] DorianX says, "It started out, I think, so that that psychic detective game could get a good joke,"
Rob says, "Maybe you put a lot of work into customizing every parser message in the game, or you did something extra cool with the medium in terms of presentation, or you just wrote a really good game so people are like, 'hey, he sure used that IF medium to write this game!'"
[peanut-gallery] Thrax says, "it's kind of like Best Screenplay"
[peanut-gallery] Fang asks, "Wah? Why would they delete Blue Chairs?"
BrenBarn says, "ha ha"
Paul says, "Hee"
Rob says, "Anyway, the five nominees this year for at least one of those shifting meanings of this award are:"
Recchi says, "heh"
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline laughs at Rob's explanation.
[peanut-gallery] Thrax says, "the award for something that can't get any other award"
Rob says, "All Things Devours, by half sick of shadows"
<Guest1> I'm not here to be entertained! Stop amusing me!
Tommy claps heartily.
rrafgon claps.
Paul exclaims, "Yay ATD!"
Rob says, "Bellclap, by Tommy Herbert"
zarf says, "yay!"
[peanut-gallery] Grocible says, "wait"
Jon claps
klimas says, "yay"
[peanut-gallery] Grocible asks, "are the awards today?"
Eluchil exclaims, "Yay,Bellclap!!!"
Paul claps for the bell
Jacqueline applauds.
JoshuaH exclaims, "Woo!"
vbnz cheers
[peanut-gallery] BrenBarn says, "they're right now"
Rob says, "Future Boy!, by Kent Tessman"
zarf claps
half claps
Eluchil applauds loudy.
Tommy claps heartily again.
[peanut-gallery] Grocible says, "man. I am so officially out of it."
vbnz yeah for the future
Recchi cheers
Guest1 walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice it approaching it from the other side.
[peanut-gallery] maga says (to Grocible), "wakey wakey"
Fang exclaims, "Yay!"
Paul exclaims, "Yay FB!"
[peanut-gallery] DorianX says, "And the Lifetime Acheivment award goes to Howard Sherman, in the hopes that he'll take this to mean that he's peaked and no longer has to write any more IF."
Rob says, "Return to Ditch Day, by Michael J. Roberts"
Jacqueline claps.
Thrax generally claps
Tommy claps heartily again.
Eluchil applauds heartily.
vbnz claps
Paul claps for returning to ditch day!
zarf says, "yay"
Rob says, "and The Dreamhold, by Andrew Plotkin"
rrafgon says, "yay"
BrenBarn says, "woo mjr"
maga says, "woo"
Eluchil applauds sincerely.
Rob applauds the nominees.
inky claps.
zarf says, "extra yay!"
[peanut-gallery] Fang asks, "What, no nomination for Ninja?"
Kwi yays.
Tommy claps very loudly.
Paul claps for holding and dreaming!
klimas says, "yay helpfulness"
half applauds
lpsmith cheers.
Eluchil claps for all the nominees.
Jacqueline applauds for everyone.
vbnz thanks Mjr for the great TADS
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "heh"
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says (to Fang), "Heh."
Rob says, "And the 2004 XYZZY for Best Use of Medium goes to..."
Fang holds his breath.
Thrax says, "the dreamhold is my favorite wrestling move"
Gunther breathes.
[peanut-gallery] (from Jota) A base drum rolls across the stage.
vbnz is nervous
Rob fumbles with an envelope.
[peanut-gallery] Jota says, "Er, bass. Bah."
Rob says, "The Dreamhold, by Andrew Plotkin!"
Tommy is a good sport and applauds the winner with gusto.
half cheers loudly!
zarf says, "yay!"
klimas says, "yay!"
Marvin exclaims, "Yay!"
maga exclaims, "yay!"
Jacqueline says, "HUZZAH!"
Fang cheers!
reese claps
Eluchil applauds sincerely.
[peanut-gallery] DorianX wonders if shouting "show your tits!" would be inappropriate
inky says, "hooray"
BrenBarn says, "tarantaraaa"
rrafgon claps
Paul exclaims, "Woo dreamhold!"
Jon says, "go zarf"
Bishop applauds wildly!
Jota exclaims, "cheers!"
lpsmith exclaims, "Yay!"
JoshuaH claps.
Kwi says, "Woo! Yay, wrestling!"
K-Y says, "Yay"
vbnz cheers!
Gunther says, "woowooo"
two-star exclaims, "Yay!"
Thrax exclaims, "yay dreamhold!"
DorianX exclaims, "Huzzah!"
zarf capers
Jota cheers, even.
Recchi applauds!
Eluchil exclaims, "Congratulations, Zarf!"
[peanut-gallery] Marvin asks, "Do you want to see zarf's tits?"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther asks, "when is it not?"
[peanut-gallery] BrenBarn asks, "do you really want to see rob's tits?"
inky says, "mm, capers"
<Epsilon> Epsilon has connected to ifMUD.
[peanut-gallery] TShatrov says, "yay for tits"
eileen applauds madly
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says (to DorianX), "You've already had too many tits for one day."
Epsilon walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
Rob gives Best Use Of Medium 2004 XYZZY to zarf.
[peanut-gallery] Tommy says, "It is more than merely frightening."
[peanut-gallery] Jota asks, "Hey, Zarf's started his acceptance recipe already?"
[peanut-gallery] * vbnz has left the channel.
Fang exclaims, "Well done zarf!"
Rob shakes zarf's hand.
zarf stands up
[peanut-gallery] maga asks, "It looks as if you've achieved something important. Would you like me to explain how to accept an award?"
vbnz exclaims, "speech!"
zarf says, "I have written an acceptance speech"
[peanut-gallery] Paul says, "Ha"
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "yay"
zarf says, "Entitled: 'Bite me: I rule'"
vbnz cheers wildly
Rob claps
Jacqueline laughs.
(From Thrax) zarf says, "it's for Howard Sherman, though"
Fang claps, soviet style.
[peanut-gallery] DorianX says, "I thought that was by Neitzche"
[peanut-gallery] Marvin says, "You know, Dreamhold is probably the only IF I've played at all that qualifies for these awards."
Tommy claps speech.
zarf says, "That's the good part, though"
inky says, "if you can parse that, you deserve best use of medium"
[peanut-gallery] Paul says, "from the James Cameron school of acceptance speeches"
Gunther throws a Shyamalan doll at zarf
zarf says, "So, thank you."
zarf sits down
Eluchil applauds sincerely.
vbnz exclaims, "wow what a great speech!"
[peanut-gallery] Fang says, "Hmm, I really oughtta play Dreamhold, then."
Jacqueline says, "Well done, Z. Thanks for a great game."
Nathan golf claps
[peanut-gallery] DorianX says, "... ANd I'd just like to sayt to Adam Cadre, thank you for not releasing a game this year."
Jota exclaims, "Let the biting commence!"
[peanut-gallery] Fang says, "Heh."
Thrax says (to Paul), "he's king of the muuuuuuud"
[peanut-gallery] maga says, "You will need to collect the remaining seven XYZZYs before you can progress to the final puzzle"
vbnz bites
Kwi claps.
[peanut-gallery] Ferret exclaims, "Don't encourage him!"
[peanut-gallery] Grocible asks, "What are the directions to the auditorium from the L?"
lpsmith cheers and returns to the stage.
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "heehee"
lpsmith exclaims, "Congratulations!"
[peanut-gallery] Paul says, "e.s.e"
Eluchil bites zarf, as per request.
[peanut-gallery] inky says (to Grocible), "or just 'xyzzy'"
[peanut-gallery] Fang says, "xyzzy, s, e"
[peanut-gallery] Bishop asks, "So this year's recipe is for Roasted Zarf?"
Grocible walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
[peanut-gallery] Fang says, "Or not"
[peanut-gallery] Grocible says, "thanks"
[peanut-gallery] inky says (to Fang), "temporarily redirected"
Rob says, "NEXT"