On February 28, 2004, at 1:30 P.M. EST (6:30 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, not including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you wish to see those comments, a version with those comments is also available.

 

lpsmith steps on to the stage, wearing a glittery blue suit you're sure he wasn't wearing a few moments ago.
Emmett says, "When we catch it, let's throw it at Plotkin."
Addreamy pulls feet off floor
peccable laughs.
Gunther gives magnet to lpsmith.
yhlee grins.
kyria79 laughs
Sargent says (to Gunther), "yay"
lpsmith exclaims, "As I'm sure you're all aware, 2004 marks the 100th anniversary of the XYZZY awards. To mark this auspicious occasion, we are proud to present: Great Moments in XYZZY History!"
Guest4 says, "Whoa, Deja Vu"
Guest5 goes home.
</Guest5> Alex forgets about the guest. "Now I don't believe in anything!"
Chrysoula cackles.
kyria79 cheers loughly
Paul exclaims, "Oh, cool!"
Matthew claps!
alkahest exclaims, "yay!"
JessK says, "Yay!"
Jacqueline laughs.
yhlee cheers.
peccable asks, "I know IF had a long history, but...?"
<ykl> ykl has connected to ifMUD.
Kwi says, "YAY!"
alkahest says, "heheh"
two-star says, "Yay binary."
ykl arrives from the west.
Sarcasmo gets her froody towel
Emmett says, "Peccable, if you can monkey with Inform to change the past, so can the presenters."
eileen reflects on how she must be older than she thought
two-star says, "oh, that'd be 1000 years."
peccable puts on his peril sensitive sunglasses and clutches his magical wishing stone. (it gloes!)
peccable laughs.
lpsmith has made you a member of #if/jumbotron.
[jumbotron] * lpsmith has added Lieut to the channel.
#if/jumbotron (norecap moderated)
Created: 27-Feb-04 17:32:24 Last message: 28-Feb-04 12:50:32
Users: Adam Addreamy Alex alkahest Artis atholbrose baf Bishop BoingBall boucher brut Ced Chrysoula DavidW Dino DorianX Earth +eileen Emmett FreakBoy Ghogg Grocible Guest1 Guest3 Guest4 Guest7 Gunther Iain +inky J_J_Guest Jacqueline Jaybird Jearl JessK JoshuaH Jota K-Y Kwi kyria79 Lieut +lpsmith maga Markov Matthew mcp mnovelli neild neild2 Norman Oren Paolo Patchwork Paul peccable +PerrySimm PeterN Photon Psmith Rob RogerCarbol Ryan Sarcasmo Sargent Scott Skip Sky Somad Spinster Steve Storme two-star yhlee zarf zebulon
Also:
There are no new messages on #if/jumbotron.
[jumbotron] * lpsmith has added Whizzard to the channel.
[jumbotron] * lpsmith has added Dave to the channel.
[jumbotron] * lpsmith has added Nate to the channel.
[jumbotron] * lpsmith has added Emily to the channel.
[jumbotron] * lpsmith has added Lionheart to the channel.
[jumbotron] * lpsmith has added Allen to the channel.
[jumbotron] * lpsmith has added vimes to the channel.
[jumbotron] * lpsmith has added DGlasser to the channel.
[jumbotron] * lpsmith has added stargirl to the channel.
lpsmith gestures to the ceiling. A large jumbotron descends from behind the curtains.
DorianX says, "OW MAKE IT STOP"
Gunther says (to peccable), "your stone's blowing glue! let me try that again"
alkahest says, "yarrrg"
Guest4 says, "Wah"
peccable laughs.
Matthew @recapc #jumbotron 500
peccable can't type.
lpsmith says, "From humble beginnings, in a small booth behind the ice cream maker at the St. Louis World's Fair in 1904, the Best Use of Medium went to RUNHORSE.Z1, running on a Triage Mark I."
Emmett says, "I think that's illegal in the US."
Paolo says, "cool"
mcp says, "hee hee"
Iain says, "Ha ha ha ha ha ha."
Rob says, "yay!"
Sargent says, "ha!"
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | >EXAMINE HORSE
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | THE.HORS
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | E.IS.RUN
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | NING.QUI
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | CKLY.ARO
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | UND.THE.
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | RACETRAK
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
peccable cheers.
alkahest cheers
Emmett laughs
peccable exclaims, "That is awesome!"
Sarcasmo applauds and laughs
eileen claps happily
Matthew laughs and claps.
Gunther says, "hee hee hee hee"
Paolo cheers
Jearl says, "whee!"
Rob says, "muybridge!"
DavidW says, "ha"
peccable says, "I have a Triage Mk I back home. Still works, too."
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | >EXAMINE HORSE'S LEGS
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | WHICH.LE
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | G.DO.YOU
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | MEAN,.TH
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | E.RIGHT.
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | FORELEG,
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | .THE.LEF
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | T.FORELE
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | G,.THE.R
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | --MORE--
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | IGHT.HIN
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | DLEG,.OR
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | THE.LEFT
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | .HINDLEG
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | ?.......
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
kyria79 screams wildly
Sargent says (to Rob), "woo!"
alkahest chuckles
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | >EXAMINE ALL FOUR LEGS AT ONCE
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | ALL.FOUR
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | LEGS.ARE
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | OFF.THE.
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | GROUND!.
Paolo exclaims, "eheh"
Jearl says, "yay!"
K-Y says, "yay for progress."
peccable points at the streen to Triage. "See -- that's your grandpappy."
maga says, "hooray"
Emmett says, "Okay, that is so unbelievably broken. I think I need to use the restroom."
inky says, "hooray"
alkahest exclaims, "it flys!"
lpsmith says, "And who could forget the addition of sound, in this 1926 winner of 'Best Puzzles'"
J_J_Guest looks confused
kyria79 claps even more
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | [tinny synthesized jazz music emerges from beneath the jumbotron]
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
DavidW says, "wowzy wow wow"
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | >HIDE STILL FROM COPS
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | THE STILL IS TOO LARGE TO PICK UP ALL AT ONCE, LET ALONE HIDE.
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
Emmett says, "Great. The Triage family is like the Barrymores."
Gunther says, "it's the Xyzzy Pasteorama"
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | >TAKE JUG FROM STILL
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | YOU TAKE THE JUG FROM BENEATH THE COIL. THE JUG IS ABOUT HALF-FULL OF MOONSHINE.
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
Paolo laughs
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | >POUR MOONSHINE INTO SINK
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | WITH A SIGH, YOU EMPTY THE JUG INTO THE SINK. OH, NO! THE SINK IS BACKED UP!
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | [The music speeds up to a more frenetic pace.]
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | THE SINK BURBLES WITH SLUDGE AND ALCOHOL.
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
alkahest chuckles
Storme has disconnected.
Storme remembers being just nine when she found a radio glued to her head.
Iain has disconnected.
Iain leaps astride a mountain pony and gallops off bareback for reinforcements.
peccable ooohs.
yhlee looks bemused.
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | >OPEN CABINET
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | OPENING THE CABINET UNDER THE SINK REVEALS: A BAG OF BROWN CRYSTALS AND A DESSICATED SPONGE.
kyria79 says, "mmmm... sludge and alcohol"
Emmett laugh
Storme walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice her approaching it from the other side.
lpsmith says, "In 1942, with the men off to war, women programmers flocked to their UNIVACs, rising to the desperate call to fill America's entertainment void. The 'Best NPC' category was added that year, and "When Johnny Comes Marching Home" won, taking too the 'Best Use of Medium' award, for its innovative use of lower-case letters."
Emmett says, "Okay."
Paolo says, "OPEN ARMOIRE"
Emmett laughs
Matthew claps and claps and claps.
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | >EXAMINE DESK
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | Sitting on the desk lie: a blotter, an ink well, a stack of fresh writing paper, a letter opener, and a crumpled envelope.
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | >EXAMINE ENVELOPE
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | The letter is addressed to Marion M___, 542 Cherokee Lane, Boston, MA It is crumpled and dirty, and postmarked nearly a month ago. You catch your breath--is that a blood stain on the corner?
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
DavidW says, "We don't mention the armoire."
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | >EXAMINE STAIN
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | Nothing more than a reddish-brown smudge, near the bottom corner of the bedraggled envelope.
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | >OPEN ENVELOPE
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | Taking the letter opener, you slit open the top of the envelope and remove the missive inside.
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
inky says (to DW), "we can't mention the armoire"
peccable exclaims, "Don't read it! It's evil!"
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | >READ LETTER
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | Spreading out the letter before you on the desk, you take a deep breath, and begin to read.
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | "My dearest Marion," it begins. "Will I ever see you again? The war has taken so much from me, let it not take my one true love, the light of my life, the twinkle in my eye! Let it not part us one from the other, one into the darkening night. Oh, how I love you! The fairest of the fair, the apogee...
Emmett says, "The first rule of Armoire Club..."
lpsmith says, "Multimedia IF got another boost in 1973, when Pink Floyd released their game "The Dark Side of the Moon" on the album of the same name, giving the 'Best Game' award for the first time to a co-authored work."
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | >CRY
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | Do you want to cry forward, cry so no-one seems to hear you, cry tears and give smiles, or cry you were absolutely in the right?
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
kyria79 cheers
Matthew applauds history.
peccable laughs.
eileen claps happily
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | >CRY FORWARD
maga says, "yay vinyl IF"
Jacqueline says, "Hahaha"
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | The front rank dies.
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
inky says, "ha ha ha"
[jumbotron] * zebulon has left the channel.
atholbrose says, "snrk"
Jearl laughs
yhlee chuckles.
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | >EXAMINE MAP
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | The lines move from side to side.
zebulon exclaims, "Yay history"
Sargent says, "In that game, if you type one command each time someone speaks in The Wizard of Oz they synch up"
J_J_Guest says, "I wish Pink Floyd would make a game."
Paolo says, "woah floyd references"
lpsmith exclaims, "Of course, in a century of IF, we've only scratched the surface of our great moments, from Teddy Roosevelt's 'Speak Softly and Carry Everything That's Not Nailed Down' to William Crowther's single-handed invention of the 'cave crawl' subgenre and winner of "Best NPC's", to Zarf and Aessa's timeless romantic comedy, "So Far, So Good". Here's to another great century, IF!"
Emmett says, "> PULL CURTAIN"
Random-Q-Hacker says, "Pink Floyd appears in Planetfall."
peccable ooohs.
yhlee splutters.
kyria79 laughs
Matthew applauds and cheers!
Sargent says, "yay!"
Photon feels brain damaged.
Gunther applauds hard.
Jacqueline laughs and claps.
zarf claps
Rob claps
maga exclaims, "yay!"
K-Y applauds
Addreamy claps
yhlee cheers.
DavidW cheers mightily.
(From lpsmith) With that, there's another blinding green flash. You shake your head, and look around. Everything seems to be back the way it was before. No, wait--the jumbotron's still there, and lpsmith is still wearing that glittery blue suit.
JessK applauds and whoops
Paolo claps wildly
JoshuaH cheers!
zebulon cheers
Paul applauds breastless halftime show!
[jumbotron] lpsmith says, "OK, Peter, you're next up."
lpsmith steps to the front, embarrassed.
peccable exclaims, "Oh the humanity! Oh the suit!"
Dino claps.
atholbrose laughs and cheers.
Chrysoula CHEERS!
DavidW says, "oops. broken green flash."
Kwi says, "Best halftime show ever!!"
(From Rob) Boingggga
Gunther rips lpsmith's bodice
lpsmith says, "In the future, if attendees would refrain from saying "XYZZY" into the time dilation nullifiers, I'm sure our collective fashion sense would appreciate it. Thank you."
Photon applauds wildly.
Sarcasmo applauds madly
zebulon says, "xyzzy"
peccable cheers!
lpsmith says, "Well, onward and forward."
J_J_Guest says, "PLUGH"
Emmett applauds deeply
Paul applauds truly