On February 28, 2004, at 1:30 P.M. EST (6:30 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, not including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you wish to see those comments, a version with those comments is also available.

 

lpsmith says, "Well, without further ado, on to our next award which is..."
lpsmith consults his list.
kyria79 cheers
Pierre bows unobtrusively
Pierre leaves the auditorium to the west.
</Pierre> Pierre has disconnected from ifMUD.
Gunther says, "adieu!"
Sargent says (to Pierre), "Wait! You forgot your summer sausage with velveeta!"
lpsmith exclaims, "Best Individual NPC, as presented by Dan Shiovitz, aka 'inky'!"
zebulon applauds Pierre
yhlee exclaims, "Bon voyage!"
Matthew claps.
Jacqueline says, "Adi - il n'est pas ici encore!"
Rob says, "hooray!"
Matthew exclaims, "WOO INKY!"
Sargent says, "yay inky!"
Chrysoula says (to Sargent), "You say that now!"
inky walks up on stage.
Paul claps for inky.
DavidW says, "Goodbye Pierre. We'll always have... Paris."
inky says, "hi everyone!"
BoingBall says, "yay inky"
Storme says, "woo, an inky"
Matthew claps and cheers.
Gunther says, "inky is my favourite npc"
Jota asks, "What was inky an NPC in last year?"
alkahest exclaims, "yay inky!"
kyria79 exclaims, "go inky!"
zebulon claps
maga says, "king of scootch"
Dino exclaims, "Yay, inky!"
Emmett says, "Best Anti-Aliased Font"
Bishop exclaims, "Woo, inky!"
Paolo says, "yay inky"
atholbrose exclaims, "inky!"
Kwi says, "Woo!"
yhlee exclaims, "w00t!"
Sargent says (to Jota), "Being Andrew Plotkin Being Dan Shiovitz in You Are a Chef"
Gunther says, "you hear AWARD from WEST"
Chrysoula says, "Yay inky!"
Guest4 says, "Yay, inkly"
Rob says, "yay"
K-Y applauds for inky
kyria79 whistles
inky says (to Jota), "Boldo was scheduled to do it, but I'm afraid he's kind of laid up at the moment after a mishap trying to get the Jewelled Eye of Wossname"
inky says, "anyway, without further ado"
Matthew says, "Aww."
Jearl mutters, "I don't get it."
DavidW says, "hee"
inky fumbles with the envelope.
J_J_Guest puts a chicken on his head.
NamelessAdventurer has arrived.
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "boo! boo!"
Kwi says, "Aiee!"
NamelessAdventurer climbs up on stage.
Rob gives NamelessAdventurer a band-aid
inky asks (of Nameless), "hey, what are you doing?"
DavidW says, "I haven't seen Nameless in ages."
NamelessAdventurer asks (of sa), "boo! what is this? a *player* giving the Best NPC award?"
Guest7 says, ""Gimme a... J.J. Guest! Woo.""
Gunther says, "BREAKING NEWS: NamelessAdventurer confirmed to be Guy Phillipe!"
inky says (to Nameless), "sheesh, you can't even type"
<Guest2> I'm not here to be entertained! Stop amusing me!
J_J_Guest exclaims, "Wooo!"
Jota applauds NA.
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "NPC rights! Viva la NPC!"
alkahest exclaims, "w00t!"
kyria79 cheers NA
inky says (to Nameless), "hey hey wait -- you're a *PC*, not an NPC"
Sargent says (to Nameless), "But you're a -- what inky said!"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Hey, I've done my time! I've got a union card!"
Rob's head swivels back and forth
DavidW stares hard at Nameless.
Gunther says (to Sargent), "stop peeking in inky's script!"
Guest4 says, "NA was an NPC in Enchanter."
lpsmith exclaims, "He was an NPC in Enchanter!"
Guest4 laughs.
Rob says, "ha ha"
NamelessAdventurer whips out his resume, with entries like "Frobozz Magic Support" and "Enchanter" prominently circled
Rob claps
Sky says, "There's an NPC union? Uh-oh..."
Spinster says, "Zork's Troll Eye View, too."
Guest4 applauds.
DavidW asks (of Sky), "Who knew?"
inky asks (of Nameless), "I was too! What about "Are you a Chef?" and "Badlands Machine"?"
lpsmith laughs!
Rob claps
alkahest exclaims, "w00t!"
Storme says, "yay"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims (at inky), "speedIF doesn't count! that's not paying union rates!"
Gunther says, "Steel-cage deathmatch!"
Sargent says, "yay!"
Jacqueline says, "Yay Badlands Machine!"
Jearl says, "hoo boy"
Rob waves his award and says *AHEM*
BoingBall laughs and laughs
Addreamy grins
K-Y exclaims, "woo!"
yhlee smiles.
lpsmith exclaims, "And that game where all those MUDizens were turned into vegetables!"
Paul exclaims, "Resume battle! To the ***death***!"
inky says (to Nameless), "ok, ok, look, I'm sure we can work something out; let's just go backstage for a sec"
Storme says (to lps), "that *was* Are You a Chef!"
Random-Q-Hacker writes a constitutional amendment banning NPC union.
inky has arrived.
DavidW says (to lpsmith), "That's 'Are You A Chef?'"
lpsmith exclaims, "Yeah, that!"
lpsmith says, "I'll be over here if you need me."
Dino says (to rqh), "hehe"
inky says, "Uh, I'm sorry, NamelessAdventurer is currently having a mishap trying to get the Jewelled Eye of Wossname"
inky says, "I'm sure he'll be back soon"
Rob says, "ha ha ha"
BoingBall says, "hahaha"
Chrysoula laughs!
kyria79 laughs
lpsmith laughs.
Kwi laughs!
yhlee chuckles.
atholbrose says, "hee"
Paul laughs.
Sargent says, "yay!"
Matthew laughs and laughs and claps.
peccable laughs.
Rob claps
inky says, "in the meantime, let's hear those nominees"
Jacqueline smirks.
Bishop says, "Hee."
DavidW says, "btw, let's mention Badland Machine again."
Storme says, "heehee"
alkahest smiles
Gunther says, "The XYZZYs are spinning out of control for the most final of reasons"
Rob says, "yay nominees"
kyria79 says, "yeah!""
Guest7 giggles!
Kwi says, "Woo!"
JessK claps
peccable exclaims, "yay! nominees!"
inky says, "for Best Individual NPC, we have ..."
<Guest8> Be our guest, be our guest, put our @boot skills to the test.
</Guest2> Well THAT was certainly... interesting.
inky says, "the Bookseller in City of Secrets, by Emily Short"
Gunther says, "there is a DEAD HAND on the ASTRO-JEWEL"
Rob claps!
peccable cheers.
FreakBoy applauds.
zebulon exclaims, "Yay!"
Sarcasmo applauds
Matthew claps.
yhlee cheers.
kyria79 cheers
maga says, "woo"
lpsmith exclaims, "Yay books!"
Rob says, "emily! yay!"
Addreamy claps
DavidW claps.
Paul claps for the bookseller!
alkahest exclaims, "yay!"
Gunther says, "yay empress emily!"
Kwi says, "Yay, books!"
Storme says, "yay cos!"
two-star exclaims, "YAAY!"
Paolo exclaims, "yay!"
inky says, "Corvallis Oregon in Narcolepsy, by Adam Cadre"
Sargent says, "THE CODEX SAYS YOU MUST GO NOW"
Paolo exclaims, "YAY VAL!"
Photon claps.
peccable claps.
Sarcasmo claps
Addreamy claps
alkahest says, "hoorah for book sellers"
Rob says, "yay!"
Guest3 exclaims, "I used to live there!"
lpsmith exclaims, "Corvy!"
zebulon exclaims, "GoVal, go!"
Rob claps
yhlee claps.
Jaybird says, "Do we need more guest accounts? We're up to eight."
Sargent applauds.
Scott cheers.
Matthew claps.
inky says, "Iona in Scavenger, by the on-vacation Quintin Stone"
Paul claps for Val!
JessK says, "yay val"
peccable cheers.
Rob claps
Jearl says, "woot!"
Matthew claps.
DavidW claps.
Sarcasmo applauds
JessK says, "yay iona too!"
Addreamy claps
Random-Q-Hacker writes down applause. damn, late.
Sargent says, "yay"
yhlee waves her fan.
Paul claps for scared little girl!
Photon exclaims, "Yay Iona!"
maga exclaims, "They mostly come at night! Mostly!"
Bishop exclaims, "Yay cute little girl!"
inky says, "Galen in Shadows on the Mirror, by Chrysoula Tzavelas"
kyria79 applauds
Guest4 hoorays
Storme applauds
Spinster exclaims, "Yay!"
Sargent says, "woo"
Matthew says (to maga), "Hee hee."
peccable applauds.
DavidW claps.
Sarcasmo claps
Rob claps!
Addreamy claps
Guest8 walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice it approaching it from the other side.
yhlee applauds.
zebulon claps
JessK yips
Paul claps for mysterious sunglasses guy!
Rob says, "yay chrysoula"
Matthew claps.
lpsmith cheers.
maga claps
brut goes home.
</brut> brut has disconnected from ifMUD.
Gunther says, "whee Iona and Galen"
Bishop exclaims, "Yay weird guy-angel-thing!"
inky says, "and Triage in Slouching Towards Bedlam, by Daniel Ravipinto and Star Foster"
Rob cheers!
Guest3 clappity clap clap.
Kwi claps.
zebulon cheers
alkahest nods and says "yay!"
<brut> brut has connected to ifMUD.
Gunther says, "also Triage"
Addreamy claps
Jearl woots for all and sundry
Matthew applauds and cheers.
J_J_Guest claps!
yhlee cheers.
eileen applauds all the nominees
peccable blushes.
Guest4 exclaims, "Woohoo!"
DavidW says, "hooray!"
Paul claps for talking box!
K-Y says, "yay inanimacy"
Spinster exclaims, "Triage, Triage, he's our man, if he can't do it nobody can!"
lpsmith exclaims, "Yay creepy computer thing!"
alkahest exclaims, "yay for triage!!!!!!!!!"
Storme applaud appplaus OW MY HANDS
inky says, "and the winner is ..."
yhlee says, "Let's point Triage toward...nevermind."
brut arrives from the west.
Paolo exclaims, "yay sentient machine"
Photon points at Triage.
DavidW says, "The NPC with the emerald eye!"
Guest6 goes home.
</Guest6> This little guesty stayed home.
maga says, "[Error-459:IsPC()==Nil]"
inky opens the envelope and looks inside with a puzzled expression.
alkahest exclaims, "w00t for steampunk!!!!!!!!!"
Paolo exclaims, "yay triage!"
inky peers closer.
inky says, "aiee!"
Rob says, "gasp"
(From inky) A large mechanical leg comes out of the envelope!
Rob applauds!
Matthew exclaims, "!"
mcp exclaims, "yay!"
peccable is scared.
(From inky) Followed by the rest of Triage!
zebulon exclaims, "!!!"
Gunther says, "!"
Storme says, "yay!"
brut goes home.
</brut> brut has disconnected from ifMUD.
yhlee cheers, and backs away from the leg.
eileen applauds wildly
Matthew exclaims, "WOOOOOOOOOO!"
Rob says, "yay!"
Guest4 exclaims, "Hooray!"
alkahest claps for triage!!!!!!!!!!
peccable laughs!
JoshuaH applauds.
Matthew applauds and cheers.
mcp applauds
Paolo exclaims, "WHOO!"
Kwi says, "Woo! YAY!"
Photon exclaims, "w00t!"
Gunther cheers.
kyria79 claps
Sarcasmo smiles
lpsmith claps!
<brut> brut has connected to ifMUD.
zarf applauds nervously
Bishop applauds.
Rob says, "it won my heart when it climbed the stairs after me"
Scott claps.
brut arrives from the west.
DavidW claps loudly.
JessK applauds
<josh_g> Then it's settled. We're going with Plan: Guaranteed Victory!
yhlee exclaims, "Hurrah for the Sephiroth-interpreter!"
K-Y exclaims, "woohoo!"
two-star claps
Paul exclaims, "Fit a contraption like that in an envelope? Those Victorians could do *anything*!"
DavidW says (to Rob), "yeah."
inky says (to Triage), "uh .. I'll just be seeing after NamelessAdventurer, bye"
inky flees backstage
Paul exclaims, "Also, yay!"
Rob points at award
Matthew laughs.
Chrysoula says, "Woot robots!"
alkahest jumps up and down and claps!
atholbrose applauds the robot!
zebulon cheers
alkahest says, "hurray for triage"
peccable walks over to triage.
Paolo claps hard
peccable pushes the emerald. It starts glowing.
Sarcasmo follows peccable up the stairs
peccable gestures toward the award.
DavidW cheers
Paolo points at triage itself and gets it in a stack overflow
alkahest pets triage. "good machine."
peccable says, "Ok...it says..."
Guest8 says, "desc me =You see a well dressed man with a target where his head should be."
peccable says, "CAT:TRIAGE.MESSA"
Guest8 goes home.
</Guest8> Bring a heart that's full of wonder and a cork nut for Alex.
peccable says, "GE.UTIL:RESPONSE"
peccable says, "REPLY.PART:<EMB"
yhlee squints at Triage's display.
Rob claps
peccable says, "ARASSMENT><PRIDE"
Rob says, "yay!"
Gunther stares.
peccable says, "><JOY>THANK.YOU."
Jearl applauds
Rob cheers!
Matthew applauds and cheers yet more.
Psmith says, "great speech!"
Paul exclaims, "Great speech! Yay Triage!"
peccable says, "VERY.MUCH.I.AM.H"
DavidW says, "hooray!"
zarf says, "yay"
yhlee applauds again.
Paolo exclaims, "/WINgoodTHANKSspeakNOW>"
peccable says, "ONORED.TO.RECEIV"
K-Y says, "yay grid speech"
peccable says, "E.THIS.AWARD...."
peccable says, "Huh."
Bishop falls over.
peccable smiles.
J_J_Guest exclaims, "Hooray!"
peccable exclaims, "Thank you everyone!"
Rob claps more
Addreamy claps even louder
Emmett exclaims, "Noo-nee-noo-nee-noo!"
Guest4 exclaims, "Woohoo!!!!"
lpsmith cheers!
eileen applauds wildly
Photon applauds.
DavidW clappity-claps.
peccable wanders off stage and Triage follows.
Matthew claps and claps.
yhlee applauds.
Jearl says, "wooooo!"
Paul claps for all three!
Storme applauds muchly
JessK says, "yay stb!"
Sarcasmo says, "thank you"
alkahest says, "cheers"
Gunther says, "recipe!"
atholbrose exclaims, "yay!"
K-Y applauds
alkahest cheers
Random-Q-Hacker did not read that as std.
Sargent says, "woo!"
Emmett cheers for STB
DavidW says, "good job."
lpsmith walks up to the stage, giving the exiting Triage a very wide berth.
Matthew claps.
inky peeks cautiously out from backstage and comes on as Triage leaves.
inky takes his seat again hastily
lpsmith says (to inky), "It's safe. I hope."
peccable says, ""Thanks.""
peccable smiles.
Chrysoula smiles at peccable.