On February 28, 2004, at 1:30 P.M. EST (6:30 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, not including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you wish to see those comments, a version with those comments is also available.

 

lpsmith exclaims, "Next up! The presentation for 'Best Puzzles', by our very own Rob Wheeler!"
maga says, "clearly we need to smash the evil wossname"
Gunther says, "ZEUS!"
Matthew exclaims, "WOOOOOOOOOO ROB!"
Matthew cheers!
kyria79 cheers rob
yhlee exclaims, "Woot!"
Gunther says, "er, ROB"
Guest4 exclaims, "Hooray for Rob!"
Storme says, "yay Rob!"
Chrysoula says, "Woot Rob!"
Addreamy cheers
Paul exclaims, "Yay Rob!"
Paolo exclaims, "woo!"
Jota claps.
DavidW cheers for Rob.
K-Y applauds for Rob
alkahest exclaims, "yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay ROB!"
Photon claps.
Sargent says, "yay ROB"
Storme says, "ROB ROB ROB"
Kwi says, "Woohoo!"
zebulon cheers
JessK says, "yay"
atholbrose whoo!
Ghogg says, "ZEUS SPEAKS"
Jearl woooTs
Rob says, "Gleaning the future from a bowl of cheese, firing a cannon, and flinging yourself over a fence are the challenges presented in Risorgimento Represso, by Michael J. Coyne."
(From DavidW) Laura Petrie says, "oh Robbbbb"
zebulon whoops
J_J_Guest examines teleprompter for results of next one
Paolo says, "woot risorgimento"
Matthew claps.
yhlee cheers.
Jacqueline applauds.
Storme yay
zebulon cheers
swinners goes home.
</swinners> swinners has disconnected from ifMUD.
Photon woots
Addreamy claps
alkahest exclaims, "w00t w00t w00t!"
<angrysheep> angrysheep has connected to ifMUD.
Rob says, "Opening a restaurant is never easy, as we discover when faced with uncooperative crustaceans, malfunctioning pneumatics, and the demanding patrons of Gourmet, by Aaron Reed."
Sargent says, "yay"
Sarcasmo applaud
zebulon exclaims, "yay"
Matthew claps.
peccable cheers for everybody.
Addreamy claps
Sargent says, "and yay again!"
atholbrose exclaims, "yay!"
Storme applauds
yhlee cheers.
JessK claps
Paolo exclaims, "YAY Gourmet!"
atholbrose claps!
kyria79 claps harder
Paul exclaims, "Yay legitimate non-jokey awards presentation!"
DavidW claps.
Guest4 says, "Hooray"
Photon ay yay!
Jacqueline applauds.
</angrysheep> angrysheep has disconnected from ifMUD.
Ghogg says, "yay Oscar style speech"
Dino claps.
alkahest exclaims, "yay chef!!!!!!!!!!"
Rob says, "Understanding that players approach the same puzzles in different ways is the key to navigating the unique obstacles of The Erudition Chamber, by Daniel Freas."
JoshuaH cheers!
Matthew claps.
Gunther says, "yay billy crystal!"
Addreamy claps
DavidW claps!
peccable claps.
J_J_Guest exclaims, "Yay!"
Sargent says, "woo"
zebulon exclaims, "Maesters rule!"
Sarcasmo applause
alkahest exclaims, "yay chamber!!!!!!!!!!"
lpsmith cheers!
Paolo exclaims, "yay erudition!"
kyria79 says, "woo hoo"
Jacqueline says, "woo"
Guest4 says, "wooho"
yhlee exclaims, "Yay seers and warriors and elephants, oh my!"
Ceryle goes home.
</Ceryle> Ceryle has disconnected from ifMUD.
Kwi says, "Woowoo!"
Sargent says, "This is like Adam's presentation as filtered through PBS!"
<Norman> Norman has connected to ifMUD.
Rob says, "Reactivating the conduits of ancient machinery on an alien world reveals the story of what came before and why, in Inevitable, by Kathleen M. Fischer."
Chrysoula says, "Yay Erudition!"
eileen applauds all of the nominees
alkahest jumps and claps
Matthew claps.
lpsmith exclaims (at Sarge), "Ha!"
<angrysheep> angrysheep has connected to ifMUD.
yhlee cheers.
Storme claps lots
Sargent says, "woo"
ejl goes home.
</ejl> ejl has disconnected from ifMUD.
DavidW says, "yay Inevitable!"
Jacqueline says (to Sargent), "Yay"
Sarcasmo applauds
Guest4 applauds.
atholbrose says, "whoo"
JessK says, "yay inevitable"
peccable cheers.
zebulon applauds Inevitable, inevitably
Rob says, "Making your way through enemy territory, penetrating the radiation-flooded halls of a subterranean lab, and escaping alive with the prize are the puzzles, and the plot, of Scavenger, by Quintin Stone."
Matthew claps.
Sarcasmo claps
Sargent says, "woo"
zebulon claps
Storme says, "yay"
Addreamy claps
Paul cheers all the nominees!
Norman arrives from the west.
DavidW claps
atholbrose claps with both hands!
JessK says, "woot scavenger!"
</angrysheep> angrysheep has disconnected from ifMUD.
yhlee claps.
peccable exclaims, "yay!"
Guest4 grins
lpsmith claps.
Rob says, "Each of these authors deserves applause for their creativity in making puzzles the interactivity that drives their fiction."
alkahest exclaims, "yay puzzles with multiple solutions!!!!!!"
JessK applauds
zebulon exclaims, "Hear, hear"
Chrysoula cheeeerrrrs!
kyria79 cheers and whistles
Addreamy claps wildly
lpsmith exclaims, "Woo-hoo!"
two-star exclaims, "Yay each of the authors!"
peccable exclaims, "yay!!!"
Sarcasmo exclaims, "yay creativity!"
Gunther, indeed, gives said applause.
K-Y applauds
DavidW says, "indeed"
Chrysoula says, "Super puzzles!"
Paul applauds all the authors for their creativity in making puzzles the interactivity that drives their fiction!
Kwi applauds wildly.
Rob says, "The Xyzzy Award for Best Puzzles 2003 goes to the game named by the acrostic I just created, and you all have ten seconds to shout it out before I do."
brut exclaims, "hip hip hooray for scavenger and rob!"
FreakBoy starts drumroll.
alkahest claps for all IF authors!
Emmett exclaims, "wh00-h00!"
Photon applauds.
yhlee cheers.
eileen exclaims, "hee hee!"
peccable huhs?
Addreamy looks around
J_J_Guest says, "everyone's gone quiet"
Guest4 asks, "Guh?"
JoshuaH exclaims, "yay Gourmet!"
Rob says, "Gourmet, by Aaron Reed!"
JessK says, "m...."
Paul exclaims, "Gourmet! Rob rules!"
alkahest exclaims, "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!"
Gunther says, "Green gamut gone bad, reverse (7)"
eileen applauds madly
Grocible says, "Everyone's furiously going over scrollback"
atholbrose 's eyes cross.
Ghogg says, "woo woo woo"
Matthew claps.
Kwi says, "GOURMET!"
yhlee exclaims, "Congrats!"
JessK says, "Yay Gourmet!!"
Chrysoula says, "Wooooot!"
peccable says, "Ah...."
Guest4 exclaims, "Hooray!"
Storme says, "wooo!"
J_J_Guest exclaims, "Yay Gourmet!"
inky says, "hooray!"
Jearl says, "woot!"
peccable is kinda slow. :)
Rob applauds JoshuaH
zarf says, "yay"
lpsmith cheers!
inky claps for lobster
Jearl says, "wacky!"
Jota claps.
Photon applauds.
<Guest5> Alex says, "Awwwk! Word on the street is that you are... um, seven?"
DavidW claps!
Sargent says, "woo!"
Ced says, "congrats to Aaron"
Paolo exclaims, "YAY Gourmet!"
brut exclaims, "rob rules, that's true!"
inky says, "lobster vs triage"
Addreamy claps
lpsmith exclaims (at Josh), "Excellent!"
Sargent says, "And yay acrostic puzzle!"
zebulon claps
kyria79 exclaims, "go gourmet!"
Emmett says, "Rob is a sick, sick man."
alkahest claps for gormet
K-Y applauds
Guest5 arrives from the west.
Guest1 says, "k"
Jacqueline says, "Yay Rob! Yay Gourmet!"
Gunther says, "Speech! Also, recipe!"
atholbrose applauds!
Rob applauds Aaron Reed, too!
Paolo exclaims, "Yay uncooperative lobster!"
atholbrose exclaims, "Spinach! Spinach!"
Dino claps some more.
Sarcasmo applauds Gormet (and presentation)
DorianX says, "Rob RUles is my favortie MTV relaity show."
Guest2 goes home.
</Guest2> Well THAT was certainly... interesting.
Emmett says, "I like the Rob World vs. Rob Rules Challenge."
Rob says, "I still think it needed a pie fight, though..."
Paolo exclaims, "Yay maimed fingertips"
J_J_Guest drools... "Mmm. Lobster sandwich."
brut exclaims, "Robs from around the world rules!"
lpsmith says, "If Aaron Reed isn't here..."
zebulon says, "Seems all recipients are either absent or comatose. Hmmm...."
Jacqueline says, "aw"
An angry-looking lobster scuttles up onstage, snatches the award, and crawls off backstage.
lpsmith opens up a panel in the podium, revealing a pneumatic tube station.
Gunther says, "IT IS A MYSTERY"
Jacqueline says, "HOORAY!"
Matthew laughs.
Kwi says, "YAY!"
Storme says, "YAY"
Guest4 exclaims, "Horay fpr tube station!"
lpsmith exclaims (at lobster), "Hey!"
Matthew claps.
DavidW takes a sip of his tea.
kyria79 exclaims, "yehaw!"
(From Adam) zebulon says (to peccable), "I'M TALKING TO YOU, PAL"
lpsmith runs offstage after the lobster.
alkahest exclaims, "gyaaaaaaaa ... they've been kidnapped!"
Paolo exclaims, "catch it!"
Rob returns to his seat.
peccable blinks.
Emmett asks, "Is this presentation going to be nominated for best puzzle at the 2004 awards?"
Sargent starts a pot of water boiling.
yhlee laughs.
(From zarf) audience all starts running around after lobster
Gunther says (to Sargent), "auntie em! there's no place like home! there's..."
yhlee runs, obediently.
Paolo exclaims, "corner it!"
(From lpsmith) Your eyes are suddenly blinded by a weird pulse of green light. When you can see again, things seem... different. For one thing, there seems to be a lot more people in the audience.
(From zarf) hilarity ensues
Grocible says, "with a magnet"
zebulon says, "peccable=Sorry"
Sargent says (to Gunther), "hee hee"
Adam says, "LEFT CLAW NORTH"