On February 28, 2004, at 1:30 P.M. EST (6:30 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, not including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you wish to see those comments, a version with those comments is also available.

 

lpsmith exclaims, "OK, next up: Best Story!"
Gunther says (to lpsmith), "he stuck to magnet backstage"
Paul says, "Playing Kenny Loggins is its version of boiling us."
DavidW give lobster to Zeus.
Adam says (to Paul), "Ha ha ha ha"
lpsmith says, "And here to present the award:"
Sargent says (to Paul), "ha!"
lpsmith looks at his piece of paper.
Gunther says (to Paul), "YAY"
Rob laughs
lpsmith exclaims, "Uh, me!"
(From FreakBoy) Everyone applauds.
inky says, "yay you!"
Kwi says, "GO YOU!"
Rob claps
Matthew claps for lpsmith.
zebulon Cheers
Ghogg exclaims, "you you you!"
Addreamy cheers
Sargent says (to lpsmith), "You're not an NPC!"
DavidW claps
Ellison says, "woo"
yhlee cheers.
Gunther asks (of lpsmith), "who *are* you?"
Sarcasmo hoory you!
Paul asks, "Who? Who? Who? Who?"
brut says, "COS! woo-woo-woo-wooo"
Sarcasmo says, "Hooray, you, rather"
lpsmith says (to Sargent), "Yeah, but I have a story to tell you a mile long."
lpsmith says, "OK, the nominees are:"
Gunther says (to paul), "who let the lpsmith out"
inky says (to Paul), "no, no, Kenny Loggins"
lpsmith says, "City of Secrets, by Emily Short"
(From FreakBoy) Everyone applauds.
Rob claps
maga says, "woo"
zebulon exclaims, "Yay!"
peccable cheers!
Addreamy claps
yhlee cheers.
Sarcasmo claps
Gunther says, "yay
inky claps
alkahest says, "yay CoS"
Sargent says, "yay"
Jearl claps
Matthew applauds.
kyria79 rattles noisemaker
Storme says, "yay for emily!"
Kwi exclaims, "What FreakBoy @emitted!"
Jacqueline says, "Yay"
DavidW claps
Chrysoula says, "Yay mysterious women!"
Paul says (to inky), "That's spelled 'No! NO! Kenny Loggins???!!'"
lpsmith says, "Narcolepsy, by Adam Cadre"
atholbrose stomps.
Rob claps
Matthew applauds!
peccable claps.
FreakBoy starts drumroll.
Sarcasmo applauds
yhlee claps.
Paolo exclaims, "yay juan goat again!"
Addreamy claps
atholbrose whoos.
Storme says, "yay Adam!"
Gunther says, "yay @dam"
zebulon Whistles
Chrysoula says, "Yay mysterious events!"
(From FreakBoy) Everyone applauds.
alkahest claps
Psmith says, "yay best stories!"
Paul starts paying attention again and clapping nonstop.
BoingBall says, "wooooo"
Rob says, "best nine stories"
kyria79 screams
lpsmith says, "Redemption, by Kathleen M. Fischer"
(From FreakBoy) Everyone applauds.
Rob claps
peccable cheers.
Matthew claps.
Sarcasmo claps
Addreamy claps
DavidW claps
yhlee applauds.
<liza> Like we really are expected to believe that Zeus sends down his precious muses to inspire folks to open dance clubs?
Gunther says, "yay kathl
Sargent says, "woo"
Jacqueline says, "YAY!"
zebulon cheers
Random-Q-Hacker says (to gunther), "Real adventurers do not use such language."
inky stomps feet.
Rob says, "woo double nominee"
Jacqueline says, "Go Kathleen!"
Storme says, "yay kathleen!"
JessK says, "YAY redemption!"
Chrysoula says, "Yay mysterious mysteries!"
Chrysoula says, "Go Kathleen!"
alkahest claps
Jearl says, "wooot!"
Paul is still clapping
lpsmith says, "Slouching Towards Bedlam, by Daniel Ravipinto and Star Foster"
(From FreakBoy) Everyone applauds.
Paolo exclaims, "yay moral dilemmas!"
Rob claps
Addreamy claps
yhlee cheers.
liza arrives from the west.
Matthew applauds!
peccable laughs.
Jacqueline claps.
Photon exclaims, "Yay again!"
zebulon applauds even more
JessK says, "yay!"
Chrysoula says, "Yay mysterious patients!"
DavidW claps!
Storme says, "yay dan and star!"
Sargent says, "woo!"
Gunther says, "yay d@n & st@r"
alkahest cheers wildly!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Paul keeps on clapping
JoshuaH cheers.
Jearl says, "yaaay"
(From Rob) Spinster's head explodes
alkahest goooooooooo LOGOS!!!!!
lpsmith says, "And finally, "To Hell in a Hamper", by J. J. Guest"
(From FreakBoy) Everyone applauds.
peccable laughs.
Matthew claps.
Addreamy claps
yhlee cheers.
alkahest exclaims, "goooooooooo LOGOS!!!!!"
zebulon claps
Sarcasmo applauds
Paolo exclaims, "yay overweight baloons"
Chrysoula says, "Yay mysterious balloon!"
lpsmith says, "And the winner is..."
Sargent says, "woo authors with two initials that are the same!"
FreakBoy starts drumroll.
Paul continues to clap, then stops with relief.
Gunther says, "yay jj-without-wacky-symbols"
alkahest exclaims, "yay!"
Storme cheers lots
Rob says, "the adrift underdog"
Rob claps
yhlee fishes for her earplugs again, just in case...can't be without 'em.
(From lpsmith) Suddenly the jumbotron lights up once again.
Guest2 says, "WOO J.J."
Rob says, "uh oh"
Photon applauds.
Sargent says, "uh-oh"
J_J_Guest laughs
peccable uh-ohs.
Paolo exclaims, "YAY"
[jumbotron] * zebulon has joined the channel.
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | >put rod in keyhole
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | The brass rod slip easily into the keyhole. Then, of its own accord, it begins to turn - first clockwise, then counter-clockwise.
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | The floor rumbles for a moment. There is an odd sense of movement.
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | The light beneath the Administration and its connecting corridor goes out.
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | A corridor at twelve o'clock lights up as the key stops moving, as does its north-east room. The button labeled 'A' clicks down and begins to glow.
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | The room seems to have subtly cha...
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | /(pain)\
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | A cacophony fills the room - a hideous screeching echo.
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
[jumbotron] PerrySimm | /(chaosrandomhurt)\
[jumbotron] PerrySimm |
kyria79 hesitates
Gunther goes ferch bazooka
Matthew cheers!
Guest4 applauds!
lpsmith exclaims, "Slouching Towards Bedlam, by Daniel Ravipinto and Star Foster!"
Matthew exclaims, "WOOOOO!"
peccable blinks.
Addreamy cheers and claps
Storme says, "yay!"
Sargent says, "congrats!"
yhlee cheers.
<ParserGirl> From hell's curio cabinet, I peer at thee! From the suburban maw of bourgeoise horrors, I stare at thee!
Jearl applauds
JessK says, "Hurrah!!!"
zarf says, "Yay!"
Gunther says, "woot"
zebulon cheers madly
kyria79 goes crazy
JoshuaH applauds!
inky says, "woo!"
J_J_Guest claps!
Paolo exclaims, "YAY"
alkahest exclaims, "yay yay yay!!!!!!!!!"
alkahest exclaims, "yay yay yay!!!!!!!!!"
K-Y applauds
Chrysoula says, "Woot strangeness!"
Sarcasmo blushes.
Gunther says, "it's the Dan Star Show"
Paul says, "/(HOORAY)\"
Photon applauds for the LOGOS.
DavidW says, "/(clapcheerhooray!)/"
Guest2 exclaims, "yay!"
alkahest exclaims, "bravo! hurrah to dan and star!"
Rob claps
Paolo says, "woot difficult choices"
peccable laughs.
Gunther says, "blinding light --"
Gunther says, "no, wait"
Ghogg exclaims, "Dancestar!"
atholbrose exclaims, "yay!"
Rob stomps his feet and cheers
peccable says, "Well -- thank you everbody for voting for a game that revolves around weirdness, difficult choices and hideous, hideous death."
alkahest exclaims, "w00t w00t w00t!"
peccable grins.
Paolo says, "yay arguably unhappy endings"
kyria79 stomps her foot and choors
Jearl says, "mmm, grisly"
eileen claps excitedly
zebulon exclaims, "Yay hideous death!"
BoingBall applauds hideous, hideous death
Kwi says, "YAY HIDEOUS DEATH!"
peccable says, "Mind you -- we're very proud of the hideous, hideous deaths."
peccable grins
DavidW says, "hee"
peccable exclaims, "Thanks!"
Sarcasmo says, "thanks again"
DavidW claps.
zebulon cheers
Guest2 wonders why you can't wipe the chalkboard off.
Addreamy cheers
Matthew claps some more.
JessK applauds for Dan and Star
peccable sits hisself down.
Kwi says (to Guest2), "Magic chalk."
Rob applauds
Gunther says, "now dan and star have three among them"
Gunther says, "a bad omen!"
inky says, "hee hee"
inky says, "Triage gets one of them"
peccable says, "That's right."