On March 2, 2002, at 1:30 P.M. EST (6:30 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, without comments made on the #peanut-gallery discussion. Should you wish to see those comments, they are also available.

inky says, "and, finally, with the last but certainly not least award of the day, Eileen Mullin is here, as always, to present Best Game"
Gunther says, "go Eileen"
Storme says, "yay Eileen!"
Jacqueline says, "Yay Eileen!"
BrenBarn cheers!
schep exclaims, "yay!"
DavidW claps
Paul claps for Eileen!
maga exclaims, "woo!"
eileen straightens little black dress and climbs up on stage
Recchi applauds!
BrenBarn says, "hooray for eileen"
Jimbo claps.
Photon applauds Eileen.
Rob claps
eileen says, "I'm honored to stand before you to announce the XYZZY Award for Best Game of 2002"
elf asks (of **), "Leetspeak?"
Sousa exclaims, "yay Eileen!!"
Jacqueline claps.
eileen exclaims, "You folks always make me feel so honored, and I haven't even coded anything!"
Rob says, "yay eileen"
Adam says (to eileen), "You've coded OUR HEARTS"
Jimbo cheers
Storme says, "heehee"
Gunther says, "in rot13!"
Rob says, "hee"
BoingBall says, "you haven't? give back that honour"
Ced applauds hard-working organiser
Paul says (to Adam), "yay"
Jimbo ouches.
eileen asks, "Has everyone here had enough ado? Should we have some further ado?"
maga says, "MORE ADO"
BrenBarn says, "no more ado"
schep exclaims, "Yay ado!"
Iain says (to eileen), "My legs are tired!"
elf exclaims, "Ado! Ado! Ado!"
Jacqueline says, "No more ado!"
Jota exclaims, "Ado!"
Gunther says, "ADODB!"
Rob says, "DO DO THAT ADO THAT YOU DO oh never mind"
elf exclaims, "Ado, Eileen! Adooooo!"
Ced says, "much more ado"
MadMonk exclaims, "No ado!"
eileen says, "OK then! The nominees for Best Game of 2002 are..."
eileen says, "Uh, wait... my contact lens dropped... nobody move..."
eileen hitches up her little black dress, kneels and starts gingerly feeling around the floor
Rob crunch
Rob says, "oops"
eileen says, "OK, I guess that's not going to work..."
Rob says, "no wait, it was just a bacon bar"
Jacqueline says (to Rob), "Eep."
JessK goes home.
</JessK> JessK has disconnected from ifMUD.
<JessK> JessK has connected to ifMUD.
BrenBarn says, "ha!"
MadMonk twitches nervously.
Jacqueline says, "Mmm... bacon."
JessK walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice her approaching it from the other side.
</CaptainObvious> CaptainObvious has disconnected from ifMUD.
<CaptainObvious> CaptainObvious has connected to ifMUD.
eileen stands and squints at the cue cards. Are those blobs in the distance are cue cards?
maga clenches his teeth and folds his hands
DavidW says, "We need one of those rods that you wave over the ground and detects plastic or glass or whatever."
eileen says, "OK, the nominees for Best Game of 2002..."
inky asks (of DW), "metal detectors?"
Paul exclaims, "Someone find a radioactive spider to bite Eileen!"
Gunther says (to inky), "except not"
BrenBarn says (to inky), "glass isn't metal!"
eileen says, "1893: A World's Fair Mystery, by Peter Nepstad"
baf says, "yes it is"
BrenBarn says, "whoo whoo"
Gunther says, "woo 1893"
Jacqueline claps.
DavidW cheers
Storme says, "yay"
Photon claps.
Paul cheers for 1893
Bishop exclaims, "Yay 1893!"
Sousa claps
eileen says, "Earth and Sky 2: Another Earth, Another Sky, by Paul O'Brian"
Jacqueline claps.
two-star says (to BrB), "that explains why I'm stuck in Metamorphoses"
JessK claps
Gunther says, "woo e&s"
DavidW says, "claps"
Sousa exclaims, "yay Paul!!"
Iain says, "Yay!"
Storme says, "yay again"
BrenBarn says, "hip hip hooray"
Photon applauds.
Jimbo cheers.
two-star says, "Yay1"
Rob claps and then claps again
Adam says, "Secret to nomination: include a number in your title"
eileen says, "Lock & Key, by Adam Cadre"
maga says, "yay"
Gunther says, "woo l&k"
Jacqueline claps.
DavidW says, "applauds"
Rob claps yet again!
Storme says, "and more yay"
Photon claps some more.
Jimbo claps.
Sousa applauds
Iain claps! *WHAM*
Paul says (to Adam), "or an ampersand"
Recchi exclaims, "yay E&S2, L&K!"
elf says (to Adam), ""&" counts as shift-7."
two-star says, "yay2"
eileen says, "Savoir Faire, by Emily Short"
maga exclaims, "yay!"
Bishop asks (of Adam), "That worked _real_ well for 1981, dfidn't it?"
Gunther says, "woo sf"
Jacqueline claps.
Jimbo cheers.
elf says, "Yoooohoooo"
Storme says, "yay SF"
DavidW hoorays
veek applauds
Sousa claps
Rob cLAPS AND CLaps
Sargent says, "yay Savoir & Faire!"
Psmith says, "or a name in French"
eileen says, "Till Death Makes a Monk-Fish Out of Me!, by Jon Ingold and Mike Sousa"
BrenBarn applauds.
Photon woots.
MadMonk cheers
Jimbo applauds
Trent cheers
Gunther says, "woo tdmamfoom!"
Recchi applauds SF!
Jacqueline claps.
elf says, "Or, in French, know-how."
Psmith says, "or an exclamation mark"
two-star yays some more
Photon w00ts some more.
DavidW yays
Stas claps.
Iain says, "Yay tentacle porn!"
Jimbo says, "Go, Monk-Fish."
Paul cheers for TDMAMOOM
Iain says, "Wait, wrong game."
Storme says, "yay Monkfish"
Matthew claps.
Recchi applauds Monk-Fish!
Bishop says (to Iain), "Eep."
JessK cheers
Rob applauds
Paul exclaims, "you da TDMAMOOM!"
BoingBall says, "yay all these"
BrenBarn says (to Paul), "yay"
</Guest2> Well THAT was certainly... interesting.
Adam says, "Though it'd make a Nun-Fish out of Eileen, one assumes"
Sousa laughs
eileen searches evening bag for winner's envelope, then remembers.
Stas says, "Or all of the above -- and you'll win no doubt."
Photon twitches.
schep holds his breath.
MadMonk exclaims, "Monk-Fish!"
Jimbo cheers all Best Game noms.
lpsmith walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
Rob asks, "you left it in your other pants?"
Jon says (to Adam), "a superior fish surely"
eileen says, "Every year I always have such a hard time opening those little envelopes..."
Adam says, "And the winner is the Edifice!!"
Psmith says, "Zut Alors & Sacre Blue 2!"
Storme says (to Adam), "ha"
Rob says, "hee hee"
DavidW says (to Rob), "She's not wearing pants"
eileen says, "This year I wised up and just wrote some crib notes..."
Bishop asks (of DavidW), "Who is?"
eileen waves right palm, which is covered with spidery handwriting in green felt tip pen.
Rob says, "hooray"
Gunther asks, "Spider & Web???"
Jon produces telescope
BrenBarn says, "heh"
Storme cranes neck to try and read hand
eileen squints under glare of hot stage lights to read her own writing
Jota exclaims, "Wait, spiders don't have hands!"
Jon lifts up Storme to help her
Rob says, "I dunno who won, but you're going to live a long life"
<Sand> Sand has connected to ifMUD.
veek says, "Spiders don't have green felt tip pens either!"
Iain says (to Rob), "Ha!"
Storme says (to Rob), "ha"
eileen says, "Boy, it's hot in here..."
Jacqueline says (to Rob), "Heehee"
Gunther says (to Jota), "mutant spiders do!"
Photon laughs.
BrenBarn says, "the winner is 'Pick up two gallons of milk and some eggs on way home'"
Sand walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
Sargent says, "and the winner is 'unintelligible blob of writing!'"
Adam says (to Sargent), "Amissville!"
Iain asks (of Sargent), "Wait, Rybread again?"
Photon chuckles.
eileen wipes at her forehead daintily
Jacqueline says (to BrenBarn), "Ha."
two-star says (to BrB), "And die"
BrenBarn says (to **), "yay"
Gunther says, "** wins"
Adam says, "Bah, Iain's was funnierc"
Adam says, "also funnier"
eileen stares aghast at the rubbed-out writing on her hand
(From Emily) Eileen says, "I think I can make out a number... some nonstandard punctuation mark, anyway..."
Storme says (to eileen), "gah, don't wipe the writing on your... too late"
Paul says (to Emily), "yay"
BrenBarn says, "and now you've got green ink on your head"
Rob says, "quick! a mirror so we can read the smudge backwards"
Sargent says, "I thought you were supposed to hold the *envelope* up to your head in these here mentalist acts."
BoingBall says, "the winner is redrum"
schep says (to Rob), "Good thinking."
Iain says (to Rob), "That was Best Puzzle, you fool!"
Gunther says (to rob), "it says egdums!"
eileen hastily brushes her bangs over her forehead to cover green smudge
Rob says (to iain), "dang!"
MadMonk throws the mirror to Eileen.
DavidW says, "Press this tissue to your forehead."
eileen exclaims, "Don't worry! I always make backups!"
Paul exclaims, "yay backups!"
Rob claps
Sargent says, "yay other hand as backup!"
(From inky) eileen pulls out auxiliary forehead
eileen twists her arm to read notes written on her right elbow
Rob laughs!
Iain says (to inky), "Hee hee eww."
BrenBarn says, "yay!"
(From elf) Eileen removes foot
Storme says (to inky), "yay"
Gunther says (to inky), "string: $0.50."
veek says, "You never know where that elbow's been rubbed"
elf says, "Er, shoe."
eileen says, "And the winner of the XYZZY Award for Best Game of 2002 is..."
Iain says, "...!"
CaptainObvious cheers for backups!
BoingBall says, "dun-dun-DUN"
Jota taps a drumroll on a hollow log.
JessK cheers early!
eileen says, "Savoir Faire, by Emily Short"
Rob APPLAUDS!!!
BoingBall says, "yaaaaay"
maga says, "YAY SAVOIR FAIRE"
Photon applauds.
Gunther says, "W O O ! ! !"
Storme says, "YAY"
BrenBarn says, "hooray"
DavidW cheers!!!!
Jimbo cheers
Jota cheers!
Iain says, "YAY"
Sousa exclaims, "Yay Emily!!"
gayla applauds wildly
liza says, "YAY!!"
Sargent says, "woo Savoir Faire!"
veek applauds and cheers!!
Paul exclaims, "YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!"
schep exclaims, "YAY!!"
perwil exclaims, "YAYYY!"
Psmith appluads wildly.
Jacqueline cheers!
maga says, "YAY"
mef says, "YAY!"
Storme says, "YAYAYAYAY"
JessK says, "Yes!!!!!!!"
Trent says, "YAY!!!"
Gunther says (to Emily), "also, HA ha"
Rob says, "HOO GAH HOO GAH"
two-star exclaims, "yaaaaay!"
Jon claps
Iain says, "AUTHOR"
Recchi applauds!!
elf woots! woots w000000ts!
maga says, "WOOOOO"
inky says, "yay!"
veek says, "wooooo Emily!!"
JessK says, "Hooray!"
lpsmith exclaims, "tT!"
Trent says, "WOOHOO!"
Photon yays and woots some more.
Oren says, "YAY"
veek says, "SPEECH! SPEECH!"
elf WOOOOOOOT!
Psmith says, "Recipe! Recipe!"
inky says, "longer speech this time!"
BoingBall says (to emily), "SPEECH"
LoneCleric exclaims, "YAY GAME I TESTED!"
DavidW releases red, white and blue balloons!
CaptainObvious exclaims, "yahoo!"
Trent Woots and hollers.
Jota exclaims, "Yay, Savoir Faire! Yay, Emily!"
Stas claps.
Storme says (to Emily), "LOTS OF SPEECH"
maga says, "SPEEEECH"
schep gets out a noisemaker and swings it around.
Paul exclaims, "HOORAY FOR EMILY!"
Jaybird yayyayyayayyayaayyyaayayayayayayayayayyyyyy
Jimbo says, "Great job, Emily."
Recchi exclaims, "SPEEEEEECH!"
Adam says, "Savoir Gagner!"
Ced woots
JessK says, "Speech!"
Iain says, "CONVERSATION"
Trent Stands and Cheers wildly.
Jota exclaims, "Yay Marie, and the rat, and the andouillettes!"
(From Rob) CaptainObvious says, "Well, DUH."
Emily seems to have been hitting the bottle of Chateauneuf during the presentation and is a little unsteady getting on the stage
elf says, "Ooops, I got carried away by emotion. Woot. Hooray. Good for you."
Photon exclaims, "Recipes! with cheese!"
MadMonk cheers wildly and releases the trained tigers!
Ced exclaims, "Recipe!!"
eileen gives award to Emily
HairBrain says, "Dream!"
Sargent says, "a gnurrur is savoir faire!"
inky says (to Rob), "hee hee"
Jacqueline says, "Formidable!"
liza played SPEECH for 13 points.
Stas says (to Emily), "You'd better say something."
elf exclaims, "Cheese! Roses! Chocolate! Gold!"
Iain says, ">link award to Emily"
DavidW clinks glasses with Jacqueline.
Gunther played XYZZY for 137 points.
Jacqueline says, "Felicitations, Emily."
Paul moves to protect the bottle of Chateauneuf from Emily's callous assaults.
maga punches the air
Jimbo says, "Good job, all winners. Need to run, now. This was a blast."
Rob says, "Formidable!"
Jacqueline sips her champagne.
inky presents Emily with complimentary wheelbarrow to carry around her awards.
elf says (to Jacqueline), "Felicitations and gratulations."
Jimbo goes home.
</Jimbo> Jimbo has disconnected from ifMUD.
DavidW takes a sip of his wine spritzer.
Rob cheers
Sargent hands Emily a green felt-tipped pen for writing her speech down on her hand.
Recchi exclaims, "Thrill-tality!!"
Emily says, "okay, um, I have sort of run out of things to add here, but thank you all again very much"
BrenBarn says, "rah rah rah"
Rob says, "say more! say more!"
Adam says, "Savoir Parler!"
FrancescaPaolini reads a triumphant love poem to Emily in some moon language
Trent puts the Cheesehead on.
gayla goes home.
</gayla> gayla has disconnected from ifMUD.
elf says (to Adam), "Heh."
Rob says (to Adam), "yay"
Iain says (to Emily), "TOPIC CITY OF SECRETS"
Paul says, "Shortest. Speech. Ever."
Emily says (to Iain), "oh, okay, fine"
(From Jota) Emily slaughters iain.
Rob says, "yay!"
Storme says (to Emily), "more speech, dammit"
Emily says, "City of Secrets is finished"
BoingBall says (to emily), "quick! hire markov as your speech writer"
BrenBarn says, "hooray!"
Rob says, "yAy!"
Matthew exclaims, "WOW!"
Trent says, "WOO!"
Emily says, "it is on my harddrive"
elf says (to Emily), "Topic: the revolution shall never be defeated."
Storme says, "yay!"
perwil exclaims, "YYAAY!"
DavidW says, "yay!"
Matthew cheers.
maga says, "yay"
Emily says, "but"
Bishop exclaims, "Yay!"
Photon exclaims, "Woo!"
schep exclaims, "HOORAY!"
BoingBall says, "wow, yay"
Rob says, "....but...>!!!"
(From Gunther) Al says, "But it's not here!"
Ced says, "yay CoS"
Bishop exclaims, "But? Boo!"
Duchess exclaims, "aw. i don't like buts!"
Jota says, "Hmm."
Stas exclaims (at Emily), "More, more!"
eileen exclaims, "Many congratulations!"
veek asks (of Emily), "And you MADE NO BACKUPS??"
Emily says, "it is waiting for the feelie printing to be finished before it goes out"
Jacqueline smacks Gunther.
Iain says (to veek), "It's on Eileen's other elbow!"
Rob says, "FEELIES!"
Adam says, "She's waiting for Suddenly, The Trains Departed to be included on the CD"
mef asks (of duchess), "How about ifs or ands?"
BoingBall says, "yay feelies"
Bishop exclaims, "Oh, then yay again!"
veek says (to Iain), "oh, phew"
Emily says (to veek), "no, uh, it's archived about three places including the CD I carry taped to my body"
dfan asks, "Where the hell is City of Secrets 2 already??"
Matthew exclaims (at Adam), "YAY!"
Duchess says (to mef), "i like ands"
BrenBarn says (to dfan), "ha!"
Duchess says (to mef), "if are just okay"
elf says, "It's in invisible handwriting. She needs to put her elbow through the food processor first."
BrenBarn says, "eew"
lpsmith exclaims (at Adam), "Hee!"
DavidW guzzles more wine.
Jota says (to Emily), "Careful. There are people here who'd tackle and search you for saying that."
veek says, "Just hold a candle to it, it's written in milk"
Gunther says, "including the Kissing Bandit"
Emily says, "so, um, it would be cooler if I could announce I was uploading it today"
inky says (to veek), "you can't hold a candle to it!"
(From Iain) KissingBandit says (to Jota), "Too late! Hahaha!"
veek cries!
elf says (to inky), "So you iron it."
Emily says, "but it will be a little longer, and thanks for your patience"
Rob claps
Jacqueline claps.
DavidW claps
Iain says, "Yay!"
Sargent says, "woo!"
elf consoles veek, or attempts to.
Emily sits
Guest3 goes home.
</Guest3> The guest digest will list the next guest request. It's the best!
(From liza) Emily says, "Maybe if I had gotten one more award, but nooo."
veek says (to Emily), "Yay."
perwil exclaims, "bravo!"
schep applauds.
Bishop exclaims, "Woo!"
Iain says (to liza), "Hee hee."
Rob says, "hee hee"
BrenBarn says, "ha!"
BoingBall exclaims (at liza), "ha!"
veek says (to liza), "yay"
Paul cheers for everybody!
Sand leaves the auditorium to the west.
elf exclaims, "One more award! One more ward!"
Gunther laughs.
Rob says, "yay good IF"
inky says, "yay"
</Sand> Sand has disconnected from ifMUD.
DavidW says, "What a great ceremony."
maga says, "yay"
Jon cheers for this bizarre IfMud concept
Gunther says, "yay all winners!"
MadMonk sighs.
Bishop Yay sundry winners and nominees and other cool people!
inky climbs back up on stage on last time.
Paul exclaims, "Gotta go grocery shopping now -- goodbye all and thanks for the nifty award!"
schep says, "yay inky"
elf says, "A better keyboard, too."
JessK says, "This was a lot of fun, all."
Bishop exclaims (at inky), "Karaoke!"
Jota asks, "What about the award for best acceptance speech?"
Jon departs
Photon says, "Yay for the ceremony."
Rob says, "yay paul!"
elf exclaims (at inky), "Ink! Ink! Ink!"
MadMonk applauds the winners.
liza says, "And now, the tomato-throwing contest"
Paul has disconnected.
Paul goes home.
eileen exclaims, "Let me thank all the presenters and our wonderful emcee. You guys rock. No, you rule. You rock, roll, and rule!"
Rob splat splut
Gunther says, "I'm still waiting for someone to announce a game!"
HairBrain says, "hooray for absurdity!"
Trent says, "Excellent show. Congratulations everyone."
inky says, "Before everyone heads over to the Carousel Bar (west, north, up), I'd just like to thank all our presenters: Stephen Granade, Jon Ingold, Carl Muckenhoupt, Robb Sherwin, Emily Short, Rob Wheeler"
dfan says, "Best Use of Tomato"
Rob dances around
elf exclaims (at eileen), "Rock and rule!"
Jacqueline claps for the presenters and organizers.
inky says, "and, of course, presenter and coordinator, Eileen Mullin"
Ced says, "yay all nominees"
JessK claps for organizer too
Psmith applauds eileen and inky.
maga says, "yay"
Rob yay eileen
DavidW applauds.
Ced says, "particularly the ones I'm biased towards"
Sargent says, "Woo Eileen!"
Jon says, "I'd like to thank Veek too for very very very fast work"
Gunther says, "and, of course, Dan "Dan" Shiovitz"
BrenBarn says, "hooray to everyone"
Storme says, "yay all"
devil says (to eileen), "Good job."
inky says, "thanks everyone for coming! see you next year!"
JessK says, "yay presenters."
schep gives everybody a round of applause.
elf applauds, claps and applauds Eileen and Inky
(From liza) inky says, "And most of all, me. I couldn't have done it without me"
Rob claps
devil asks (of inky), "What, you're leaving for a year?"
eileen blows kisses to the crowd
maga asks (of veek), "why did we all suspect you?"
BrenBarn says, "yay"
two-star claps until his hands are all numb and tingly.
DavidW cheers inky
dfan says, "Dan "Dan Noodles" Shiovitz"
Sargent says, "Thank you and good night Great Underground Empire! You rock!"
veek says (to maga), "I am innocent."
Iain asks (of maga), "Because Gunther's italian translation sucks?"
veek high-fives Jon
perwil exclaims, "yaya inky and eileen!"
Bishop votes to lynch maga.
inky says, "(also, 'xyzzy' will take you to the bar directly, if you want)"
Storme says (to veek), "he left already"
dfan leaves the auditorium to the west.
veek says, "aw"
Sargent says, "XYZZY does so many things"
maga leaves the auditorium to the west.
LoneCleric says, "Gotta go wash some dishes before GF comes back, if I don't want to end up writing "NMNL2: Love sucks!""
devil says, "Great show. Bye all."
Gunther says, "And Stephen "Oscar Mayer" Granade"
devil isn't better because someone says he's better, or because there's a conspiracy by the MCC to keep cudgels out of Lords.
</devil> Your enemy is not surrounding your country. your enemy is ruling your country.
Storme concentrates, and disappears.
liza concentrates, and disappears.
Rob concentrates, and disappears.
Adam says, "All righty, back to work"
BrenBarn leaves the auditorium to the west.
Adam goes to sleep by the light of a Communist moon.
</Adam> Being Joan of Arc is no picnic, but luckily her cynical attitude and wry wit keep her afloat.
Sargent concentrates, and disappears.
Psmith leaves the auditorium to the west.
Jon picks up Veek and carries her away.
Jaybird concentrates, and disappears.
Bishop concentrates, and disappears.
elf says (to veek), "Congratulations on whatever."
LoneCleric goes home.
</LoneCleric> Don't forget to vote for "Scavenger Hunt" for the "Best Tutorial" Xyzzy Award. Oh, wait.
HairBrain leaves the auditorium to the west.
schep leaves the auditorium to the west.
elf concentrates, and disappears.
Recchi concentrates, and disappears.
two-star concentrates, and disappears.
JessK concentrates, and disappears.
lpsmith concentrates, and disappears.
DavidW blows a kiss to the beavers.
Oren concentrates, and disappears.
Guest1 goes home.
</Guest1> Well THAT was certainly... interesting.
DavidW leaves the auditorium to the west.
Trent concentrates, and disappears.
eileen exclaims, "Time for me to go too. Goodbye, all!"
Gunther leaves the auditorium to the west.
eileen goes home.
</eileen> eileen has disconnected from ifMUD.
veek concentrates, and disappears.
Emily disappears through an invisible gap in the MUD. You think you may have heard the sounds of chatting before the gap closed again.
Iain concentrates, and disappears.
Jarb disappears through an invisible gap in the MUD. You think you may have heard the sounds of chatting before the gap closed again.
nm disappears through an invisible gap in the MUD. You think you may have heard the sounds of chatting before the gap closed again.
Ced concentrates, and disappears.
baf leaves the auditorium to the west.
MadMonk concentrates, and disappears.
atholbrose leaves the auditorium to the west.
fitzroy leaves the auditorium to the west.
Ced arrives from the west.
Jon goes home.
</Jon> Jon has disconnected from ifMUD.
Photon disappears because his wave function has suddenly collapsed.
</Photon> Photon's state vector oscillates out of this dimension.
BoingBall leaves the auditorium to the west.
</MadMonk> MadMonk has disconnected from ifMUD.
perwil leaves the auditorium to the west.