On March 2, 2002, at 1:30 P.M. EST (6:30 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, without comments made on the #peanut-gallery discussion. Should you wish to see those comments, they are also available.

inky climbs back up on stage.
<Figster> Figster has connected to ifMUD.
Duchess says, "yay inky@"
Duchess exclaims, "er inky!"
Rob says, "inky inky!"
veek throws irises at inky
Matthew says, "OW MY EYE"
maga says, "IIIIIinky"
liza says, "Man, he wins Best Inky every year"
BrenBarn says, "woo inky"
Matthew claps for inky.
ParserGirl goes into the future and brings back a copy of Adam Cadre's "Quake: IF STYLE"
BrenBarn says (to liza), "yay"
Duchess says (to liza), "no one bothers running against him now"
Matthew says (to liza), "He deserves it. Especially as long as that Pac Man ghost doesn't show up."
Iain says (to ParserGirl), "Woo."
Sargent says, "wokka wokka wokka"
inky says, "and speaking of brie-f forays, our next category, Best NPCs, will be announced by .. er .."
MadMonk says, "Nice work."
Matthew exclaims (at inky), "Yay!"
Sargent says (to inky), "ew"
inky pulls out long list of names and hastily checks it over.
veek laughs
Gunther asks (of inky), "The Kissing Pundit?"
veek says (to Gunther), "yay"
liza says, "OK, he won it every time except this year"
Jacqueline laughs.
JJGuest says, "Hi MadMonk!""
inky says, "Avril!"
Gunther asks, "Lavigne?"
Sargent says, "yay Avril!"
Avril has arrived.
maga says, "yay"
Avril walks up to the podium
eileen cheers loudly
veek claps for Avril
Sargent says, "Canada's new version of Bryan Adams!"
Jearl says, "yaaay"
Jimbo asks, "why does this have to be so complicated?"
Avril says, "Good evening. We're here to present the nominations for Best Non-Player Characters. I'm afraid we couldn't agree on which one we wanted to win."
Matthew says (to Sargent), "Eeeagh."
Avril says, "I am here in the camp of Forever Always by Iain Merrick."
Gunther says, "OCH"
Duchess tries to figure out if Sarge dissed her favorite singer
Avril says, "I think I should point out that this is a game about a number of short-lived people pursuing that irritating obsession, romance."
Rob says, "eoo"
HairBrain asks, "Avril? Isn't that a brand of painkiller?"
Iain says (to Avril), "It's not camp!"
Avril says, "On the other hand, I do approve of the kilts."
Guest5 goes home.
</Guest5> Alex forgets about the guest. "Now I don't believe in anything!"
Avril says, "And none of the other contenders show nearly the same kind of concern for the little *nuances* -- tone of voice is *so* *important.*"
(From Sietse) The crowd was cheering one by one, Hurrah, hurrah.
MadMonk exclaims, "Heya, Poodle!"
Figster walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice it approaching it from the other side.
Avril steps aside for EarthMinister.
Recchi says, "heh"
Psmith says, "Och, again!"
Sargent says, "yay multiple presenters from Pytho's Mask!"
zugzwang flickers in and out of existence, like a hologram broadcast from Alpha Centauri
EarthMinister says, "I have been asked to present The Frenetic Five vs. the Seven Deadly Dwarves, by Neil DeMause."
<CaptainObvious> CaptainObvious has connected to ifMUD.
EarthMinister says, "These good people spend a lot of time underground. Therefore, they're all right by me. That is all."
maga says, "hee hee hee"
CaptainObvious walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice it approaching it from the other side.
Sargent says, "yay!"
Jacqueline says, "Ha."
(From Sietse) The KissingBandit looks at Avril curiously, wonderingly.
EarthMinister sits.
Vivena steps up and tosses her hair.
JJGuest says, "Hi Captain Obvious! Hi Monk!""
Vivena says, "Next is Lock & Key, by Adam Cadre."
(From Sietse) The KissingBandit considers, hums, and haws.
Trent laughs
Recchi exclaims, "cheers for F53!"
Trent cheers
Jimbo cheers.
Vivena says, "I think we know why this game deserves to win."
(From Sietse) The KissingBandit makes up his mind...
Vivena says, "One: Musculo."
(From Sietse) The KissingBandit smirks, and wets his lips.
Vivena says, "Two: Boldo."
Matthew claps.
Gunther says, "Yay Adam again"
maga says, "hee hee hee"
Vivena blows kisses at the nominees' seats, then realizes Musculo isn't there any more. She looks puzzled, but flounces out.
MadMonk exclaims, "Hi, JJGuest!"
Recchi applauds
(From Sietse) The KissingBandit kisses Avril smack on the smacker!
FortuneTeller waves to the audience.
Gunther says, "not to mention the other nominees yet unannounced"
Matthew claps.
FortuneTeller draws a card and holds it up: "The PK Girl, by Robert Goodwin."
stephenb goes home.
</stephenb> stephenb has disconnected from ifMUD.
FortuneTeller holds up another card, on which is a slender young girl with extraordinarily large eyes and strangely colored hair.
Matthew claps.
JJGuest says, "PK Girl is up next, Monk!@"
Paul smacks his forehead. "Of course!"
FortuneTeller frowns and draws another card, which also turns out to be a young girl with extremely large eyes and plentiful hair, though this time of a different color.
Iain says, "Woo anime lovelies."
BenCaplan drops pac man ghost.
DavidW claps
FortuneTeller draws a third card. Same thing.
Iain says, "With carefully-differentiated features!"
Recchi claps
FortuneTeller shuffles through her entire deck, then throws it on the floor in disgust and walks out.
MadMonk says, "Indeedy it is, Poodle! Let's cheer for Hana*"
maga says, "hee hee hee hee hee"
Jearl says, "aw"
Sargent laughs.
Adam says, "That deck is super deformed"
MoonMinister comes to the podium. He is wearing a long blue robe and a funny hat.
MoonMinister says, "Finally, I must present --"
MoonMinister takes a shiny silver card out of his pocket and consults it.
MoonMinister reads, "Tookie's Song, by Jessica Knoch."
Gunther says, "it's the deck from James Bond!"
MoonMinister says, "There seems to be some mistake."
Jacqueline claps for Jessica.
Iain says (to Gunther), "Yay!"
MoonMinister glares at shiny silver card.
DavidW claps
MoonMinister says, "It says here that it is about space cats. There are no cats in space, so I *trust* it is a work of *fiction*."
MaskedMan steps out of the wings.
Sousa exclaims, "Yay!"
Jacqueline says, "Heh"
Photon applauds the presenters.
Sargent applauds.
maga exclaims, "He's back!"
Gunther asks (of MoonMinister), "you live on the moon or something?"
Paul claps for all the nominees and presenters
MaskedMan says, "and now, the winner"
Psmith says, "yay all"
Jearl says, "I'm just wating for them to all stab each other"
Matthew claps.
Jacqueline says, "Yay MaskedMan!"
MaskedMan produces a small white card
inky says, "uh-oh, another masked man"
MaskedMan says, "and the winner is..."
Rob says, "there's a lot of those today"
Iain says (to inky), "Yikes."
Jacqueline anticipates the clap. Wait. TSD.
MaskedMan glances nervously over at the Kissing Bandit
Iain says (to Rob), "They're terribly comfortable."
DavidW is all a-trembly
BrenBarn says (to Iain), "yay"
MaskedMan says, "Lock & Key, by Adam Cadre!"
Rob claps!
maga says, "YAY"
gayla applauds wildly.
Sargent asks (of Iain), "almost as much so as kilts?"
Matthew cheers!
Jearl says, "AAARR"
Matthew says, "WOOOOOOOOOO."
BoingBall applauds
DavidW says, "yay!"
Sargent says, "Yay!"
Rob says, "wow"
Gunther says, "Wow!"
LoneCleric says, "Yay."
dfan claps
Iain says, "ROGGLER"
Photon applauds.
schep claps
Recchi cheers!
two-star exclaims, "yay!"
Sousa claps!
JessK claps heartily
Jacqueline says, "Wow... clear your shelves out, Adam!"
Jimbo claps.
Sietse applauds!
Adam says, "Egad"
Jota applauds.
MaskedMan gives Best NPCs trophy to Adam.
DavidW claps and claps
Paul exclaims, "YAY LOCK AND KEY SWEEPAGE!"
Jon claps
Rob claps
Stas says, "Ugh."
maga whoops
MadMonk exclaims, "Nice work!"
Jacqueline applauds.
Jimbo says, "You go, dude."
Rob says, "I didn't see this coming"
veek cheers wildly
Adam says, "I guess there's a lesson to be learned here"
Trent says, "Yay"
JJGuest says, "Good one!""
Adam says, "People love gladiators."
Rob claps
Matthew says (to Adam), "Hooray."
Jon says, "Have a speech prepared, that's the lesson"
Jearl asks, "Rat Girls: fan favorite?"
schep chuckles.
Duchess exclaims, "especially meg ryan!"
Gunther holds out hand with raised thumb.
<Doe> is here!
DavidW says, "People love trap salespeople too"
HairBrain says, "Recipe! Recipe!"
</Doe> leaves. The IF Mud weeps.
Ced says, "people love banana-consuming autocrats"
MadMonk says, "People also love cheese."
Gunther says, "and alpacas!"
Jearl says, "and lions"
maga says, "people mostly love musculo"
Jearl says, "and loins"
DorianX says, "Especially if people are Emily."
MadMonk says, "I love cheese, myself."
Iain says (to maga), "Wrong tense."
Trent says, "Poor Musculo"
Jearl says, "and possibly thews"
Adam says, "Anyway, wow, thanks very much"
Trent says, "And Yay Gladiators."
maga says (to Iain), "nothing a reanimate spell can't fix"
Trent cheers
Sietse exclaims, "Yay, I live in Holland! Cheese Country!"
Matthew applauds wildly.
Storme says, "yay L&K"
zugzwang agrees with Iain (from ages ago)
Paul cheers for Adam
Sietse claps.
Gunther says (to Sietse), "3x bellen!"
maga says, "yay"
DavidW says (to Sietse), "A whole country of cheese. Wow."
Jimbo cheers.
Rob applauds
Adam says, "This is certainly a pleasant alternative to working up an outline of the Reconstruction period, which is what I'm doing between awards"
Jacqueline says, "heh"
Jacqueline says, "Congrats, Adam!"
Adam says, "(history lesson to teach right after this)"
BenCaplan isn't surprised at the results, except for best use of medium and best individual pc.
Jimbo asks (of adam), "is that done on reconstruction paper?"
Sousa laughs
</CaptainObvious> CaptainObvious has disconnected from ifMUD.
<CaptainObvious> CaptainObvious has connected to ifMUD.
CaptainObvious concentrates, and disappears.
CaptainObvious walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice it approaching it from the other side.
MadMonk says, "Of course, the moon is a big ball of cheese, so Holland is kinda upstaged by it."
inky steps back up on stage.
Trent says, "Yay inky!"
liza says, "DOWN IN FRONT"
BenCaplan disagrees about the moon and Holland.
Jacqueline claps (again) for inky.
BrenBarn says, "the inky bits are my favorite parts of the ceremony"
DavidW says, "Of course, that moon cheese has space cat hair all over it."
Sietse applauds inky
Iain says (to DW), "Hee hee."