On February 28, 2004, at 1:30 P.M. EST (6:30 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you not wish to see those comments, an expurgated version is also available.

 

lpsmith says, "Well, without further ado, on to our next award which is..."
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "Hm. I'm mixed on the pleasantness of it all."
lpsmith consults his list.
[peanut-gallery] alkahest says, "CHICKen ... CHICKen ... CHICKen ..."
kyria79 cheers
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "unlike the oscars"
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "But that's just me."
Pierre bows unobtrusively
Pierre leaves the auditorium to the west.
</Pierre> Pierre has disconnected from ifMUD.
Gunther says, "adieu!"
Sargent says (to Pierre), "Wait! You forgot your summer sausage with velveeta!"
lpsmith exclaims, "Best Individual NPC, as presented by Dan Shiovitz, aka 'inky'!"
zebulon applauds Pierre
yhlee exclaims, "Bon voyage!"
Matthew claps.
Jacqueline says, "Adi - il n'est pas ici encore!"
Rob says, "hooray!"
Matthew exclaims, "WOO INKY!"
Sargent says, "yay inky!"
Chrysoula says (to Sargent), "You say that now!"
inky walks up on stage.
Paul claps for inky.
DavidW says, "Goodbye Pierre. We'll always have... Paris."
inky says, "hi everyone!"
[peanut-gallery] FreakBoy says, "cheers."
BoingBall says, "yay inky"
Storme says, "woo, an inky"
Matthew claps and cheers.
Gunther says, "inky is my favourite npc"
Jota asks, "What was inky an NPC in last year?"
alkahest exclaims, "yay inky!"
[peanut-gallery] Spinster says, "Well, I personally slept with each of the judges to ensure my nomination."
[peanut-gallery] Sargent says (to Chrysoula), "I know better than to say it when he's here!"
kyria79 exclaims, "go inky!"
zebulon claps
maga says, "king of scootch"
Dino exclaims, "Yay, inky!"
[peanut-gallery] JessK asks, "Who won last year for NPCs?"
Emmett says, "Best Anti-Aliased Font"
Bishop exclaims, "Woo, inky!"
Paolo says, "yay inky"
atholbrose exclaims, "inky!"
Kwi says, "Woo!"
yhlee exclaims, "w00t!"
Sargent says (to Jota), "Being Andrew Plotkin Being Dan Shiovitz in You Are a Chef"
Gunther says, "you hear AWARD from WEST"
Chrysoula says, "Yay inky!"
Guest4 says, "Yay, inkly"
Rob says, "yay"
K-Y applauds for inky
kyria79 whistles
inky says (to Jota), "Boldo was scheduled to do it, but I'm afraid he's kind of laid up at the moment after a mishap trying to get the Jewelled Eye of Wossname"
[peanut-gallery] Psmith says, "Boldo"
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says, "Some day I need to put a MUDder in a game and win Best NPC with it, so I can co-opt their identity."
inky says, "anyway, without further ado"
Matthew says, "Aww."
Jearl mutters, "I don't get it."
DavidW says, "hee"
inky fumbles with the envelope.
[peanut-gallery] zarf says, "hah"
[peanut-gallery] Paolo says, "poor boldo"
J_J_Guest puts a chicken on his head.
NamelessAdventurer has arrived.
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "boo! boo!"
Kwi says, "Aiee!"
NamelessAdventurer climbs up on stage.
[peanut-gallery] Paolo says, "they could have taken musculo though"
[peanut-gallery] Sargent says, "I was waiting for Musclo to get brained by Rob waving his award"
Rob gives NamelessAdventurer a band-aid
inky asks (of Nameless), "hey, what are you doing?"
[peanut-gallery] Paul exclaims, "It's a coup!"
[peanut-gallery] BoingBall says, "I shall rename myself Boldo so that evil does not triumph"
[peanut-gallery] baf asks, "Didn't Zarf get a best NPC nomination?"
DavidW says, "I haven't seen Nameless in ages."
NamelessAdventurer asks (of sa), "boo! what is this? a *player* giving the Best NPC award?"
[peanut-gallery] Psmith says (to Paolo), "Musculo should be scheduled for Best NPCs."
Guest7 says, ""Gimme a... J.J. Guest! Woo.""
[peanut-gallery] Storme asks, "and best PC?"
Gunther says, "BREAKING NEWS: NamelessAdventurer confirmed to be Guy Phillipe!"
inky says (to Nameless), "sheesh, you can't even type"
<Guest2> I'm not here to be entertained! Stop amusing me!
J_J_Guest exclaims, "Wooo!"
[peanut-gallery] Spinster says, "The goat from Man From Defra."
[peanut-gallery] Paolo says, "oh, great"
Jota applauds NA.
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "NPC rights! Viva la NPC!"
alkahest exclaims, "w00t!"
[peanut-gallery] Spinster says, "Optionally, Mover 008."
kyria79 cheers NA
[peanut-gallery] maga exclaims, "he doesn't need to type! he's not a player!"
inky says (to Nameless), "hey hey wait -- you're a *PC*, not an NPC"
Sargent says (to Nameless), "But you're a -- what inky said!"
[peanut-gallery] Psmith says (to inky), "He was an NPC in Enchanter"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Hey, I've done my time! I've got a union card!"
Rob's head swivels back and forth
DavidW stares hard at Nameless.
Gunther says (to Sargent), "stop peeking in inky's script!"
[peanut-gallery] yhlee says, "unless some players are going around with 1337 voice-to-text interfaces..."
[peanut-gallery] DorianX says, "Viva Quevec! Viva Jay sherman"
Guest4 says, "NA was an NPC in Enchanter."
lpsmith exclaims, "He was an NPC in Enchanter!"
[peanut-gallery] Sargent says, "next up will be Bobcat Goldthwait"
Guest4 laughs.
Rob says, "ha ha"
NamelessAdventurer whips out his resume, with entries like "Frobozz Magic Support" and "Enchanter" prominently circled
Rob claps
Sky says, "There's an NPC union? Uh-oh..."
Spinster says, "Zork's Troll Eye View, too."
Guest4 applauds.
DavidW asks (of Sky), "Who knew?"
inky asks (of Nameless), "I was too! What about "Are you a Chef?" and "Badlands Machine"?"
[peanut-gallery] yhlee says, "So that's why I couldn't get any NPCs to work for me. Need some NPC scabs..."
lpsmith laughs!
Rob claps
alkahest exclaims, "w00t!"
Storme says, "yay"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims (at inky), "speedIF doesn't count! that's not paying union rates!"
Gunther says, "Steel-cage deathmatch!"
Sargent says, "yay!"
Jacqueline says, "Yay Badlands Machine!"
Jearl says, "hoo boy"
Rob waves his award and says *AHEM*
BoingBall laughs and laughs
Addreamy grins
[peanut-gallery] Matthew exclaims, "Politics grips the XYZZYs!"
K-Y exclaims, "woo!"
yhlee smiles.
[peanut-gallery] baf says, "NPC union would explain the trend away from combat in IF..."
lpsmith exclaims, "And that game where all those MUDizens were turned into vegetables!"
Paul exclaims, "Resume battle! To the ***death***!"
[peanut-gallery] Spinster exclaims, "A burst of violence! The clot thickens!"
inky says (to Nameless), "ok, ok, look, I'm sure we can work something out; let's just go backstage for a sec"
Storme says (to lps), "that *was* Are You a Chef!"
Random-Q-Hacker writes a constitutional amendment banning NPC union.
inky has arrived.
DavidW says (to lpsmith), "That's 'Are You A Chef?'"
[peanut-gallery] Paolo says, "uh-oh"
[peanut-gallery] Sargent says, "inky's going to come out with a blank mask on"
lpsmith exclaims, "Yeah, that!"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "namelessinky"
[peanut-gallery] yhlee gulps.
lpsmith says, "I'll be over here if you need me."
Dino says (to rqh), "hehe"
inky says, "Uh, I'm sorry, NamelessAdventurer is currently having a mishap trying to get the Jewelled Eye of Wossname"
inky says, "I'm sure he'll be back soon"
Rob says, "ha ha ha"
BoingBall says, "hahaha"
Chrysoula laughs!
kyria79 laughs
lpsmith laughs.
Kwi laughs!
yhlee chuckles.
atholbrose says, "hee"
Paul laughs.
Sargent says, "yay!"
Matthew laughs and laughs and claps.
peccable laughs.
Rob claps
inky says, "in the meantime, let's hear those nominees"
Jacqueline smirks.
Bishop says, "Hee."
DavidW says, "btw, let's mention Badland Machine again."
Storme says, "heehee"
alkahest smiles
Gunther says, "The XYZZYs are spinning out of control for the most final of reasons"
Rob says, "yay nominees"
kyria79 says, "yeah!""
Guest7 giggles!
Kwi says, "Woo!"
JessK claps
peccable exclaims, "yay! nominees!"
inky says, "for Best Individual NPC, we have ..."
<Guest8> Be our guest, be our guest, put our @boot skills to the test.
</Guest2> Well THAT was certainly... interesting.
inky says, "the Bookseller in City of Secrets, by Emily Short"
Gunther says, "there is a DEAD HAND on the ASTRO-JEWEL"
Rob claps!
peccable cheers.
FreakBoy applauds.
zebulon exclaims, "Yay!"
[peanut-gallery] maga says (to DW), "aww, thanks"
Sarcasmo applauds
Matthew claps.
yhlee cheers.
kyria79 cheers
maga says, "woo"
lpsmith exclaims, "Yay books!"
Rob says, "emily! yay!"
Addreamy claps
DavidW claps.
Paul claps for the bookseller!
alkahest exclaims, "yay!"
Gunther says, "yay empress emily!"
Kwi says, "Yay, books!"
[peanut-gallery] zarf says (to gunther), "ok, that was strained"
Storme says, "yay cos!"
two-star exclaims, "YAAY!"
Paolo exclaims, "yay!"
inky says, "Corvallis Oregon in Narcolepsy, by Adam Cadre"
Sargent says, "THE CODEX SAYS YOU MUST GO NOW"
Paolo exclaims, "YAY VAL!"
Photon claps.
peccable claps.
Sarcasmo claps
Addreamy claps
alkahest says, "hoorah for book sellers"
Rob says, "yay!"
Guest3 exclaims, "I used to live there!"
lpsmith exclaims, "Corvy!"
zebulon exclaims, "GoVal, go!"
Rob claps
yhlee claps.
Jaybird says, "Do we need more guest accounts? We're up to eight."
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says (to zarf), "totally"
Sargent applauds.
Scott cheers.
Matthew claps.
inky says, "Iona in Scavenger, by the on-vacation Quintin Stone"
Paul claps for Val!
JessK says, "yay val"
peccable cheers.
Rob claps
Jearl says, "woot!"
Matthew claps.
DavidW claps.
Sarcasmo applauds
JessK says, "yay iona too!"
[peanut-gallery] Spinster asks, "Who was Corvallis? The sister?"
Addreamy claps
Random-Q-Hacker writes down applause. damn, late.
Sargent says, "yay"
yhlee waves her fan.
[peanut-gallery] Matthew says, "Yes."
Paul claps for scared little girl!
Photon exclaims, "Yay Iona!"
maga exclaims, "They mostly come at night! Mostly!"
Bishop exclaims, "Yay cute little girl!"
inky says, "Galen in Shadows on the Mirror, by Chrysoula Tzavelas"
kyria79 applauds
Guest4 hoorays
Storme applauds
Spinster exclaims, "Yay!"
[peanut-gallery] Paolo says, "yep"
Sargent says, "woo"
Matthew says (to maga), "Hee hee."
peccable applauds.
DavidW claps.
Sarcasmo claps
Rob claps!
Addreamy claps
Guest8 walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice it approaching it from the other side.
yhlee applauds.
zebulon claps
JessK yips
Paul claps for mysterious sunglasses guy!
Rob says, "yay chrysoula"
Matthew claps.
lpsmith cheers.
maga claps
brut goes home.
</brut> brut has disconnected from ifMUD.
Gunther says, "whee Iona and Galen"
Bishop exclaims, "Yay weird guy-angel-thing!"
inky says, "and Triage in Slouching Towards Bedlam, by Daniel Ravipinto and Star Foster"
Rob cheers!
Guest3 clappity clap clap.
Kwi claps.
zebulon cheers
alkahest nods and says "yay!"
<brut> brut has connected to ifMUD.
Gunther says, "also Triage"
Addreamy claps
Jearl woots for all and sundry
Matthew applauds and cheers.
J_J_Guest claps!
yhlee cheers.
eileen applauds all the nominees
peccable blushes.
Guest4 exclaims, "Woohoo!"
DavidW says, "hooray!"
Paul claps for talking box!
K-Y says, "yay inanimacy"
Spinster exclaims, "Triage, Triage, he's our man, if he can't do it nobody can!"
lpsmith exclaims, "Yay creepy computer thing!"
alkahest exclaims, "yay for triage!!!!!!!!!"
Storme applaud appplaus OW MY HANDS
inky says, "and the winner is ..."
yhlee says, "Let's point Triage toward...nevermind."
brut arrives from the west.
Paolo exclaims, "yay sentient machine"
Photon points at Triage.
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "meanwhile, Nameless is being fed to the Nobras"
DavidW says, "The NPC with the emerald eye!"
Guest6 goes home.
</Guest6> This little guesty stayed home.
maga says, "[Error-459:IsPC()==Nil]"
inky opens the envelope and looks inside with a puzzled expression.
alkahest exclaims, "w00t for steampunk!!!!!!!!!"
Paolo exclaims, "yay triage!"
inky peers closer.
[peanut-gallery] Matthew exclaims, "He's on a quest! He'll be back soon! inky said so!"
inky says, "aiee!"
Rob says, "gasp"
(From inky) A large mechanical leg comes out of the envelope!
Rob applauds!
Matthew exclaims, "!"
mcp exclaims, "yay!"
peccable is scared.
(From inky) Followed by the rest of Triage!
zebulon exclaims, "!!!"
Gunther says, "!"
Storme says, "yay!"
brut goes home.
</brut> brut has disconnected from ifMUD.
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says, "Aw, I was rooting for Galen."
yhlee cheers, and backs away from the leg.
eileen applauds wildly
Matthew exclaims, "WOOOOOOOOOO!"
Rob says, "yay!"
Guest4 exclaims, "Hooray!"
alkahest claps for triage!!!!!!!!!!
peccable laughs!
JoshuaH applauds.
Matthew applauds and cheers.
mcp applauds
Paolo exclaims, "WHOO!"
Kwi says, "Woo! YAY!"
Photon exclaims, "w00t!"
Gunther cheers.
kyria79 claps
Sarcasmo smiles
lpsmith claps!
<brut> brut has connected to ifMUD.
zarf applauds nervously
Bishop applauds.
Rob says, "it won my heart when it climbed the stairs after me"
Scott claps.
brut arrives from the west.
[peanut-gallery] Jota says (to Matthew), "I just hope he can speak German, or he'll have a hard time understanding every third thing that happens to him."
DavidW claps loudly.
JessK applauds
<josh_g> Then it's settled. We're going with Plan: Guaranteed Victory!
yhlee exclaims, "Hurrah for the Sephiroth-interpreter!"
K-Y exclaims, "woohoo!"
two-star claps
[peanut-gallery] Matthew says, "Good point."
Paul exclaims, "Fit a contraption like that in an envelope? Those Victorians could do *anything*!"
DavidW says (to Rob), "yeah."
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says (to Jota), "snrk"
inky says (to Triage), "uh .. I'll just be seeing after NamelessAdventurer, bye"
[peanut-gallery] Paolo says, "it's a bit square, but a generally good machine"
inky flees backstage
Paul exclaims, "Also, yay!"
Rob points at award
Matthew laughs.
Chrysoula says, "Woot robots!"
alkahest jumps up and down and claps!
atholbrose applauds the robot!
zebulon cheers
alkahest says, "hurray for triage"
[peanut-gallery] DavidW says, "btw, take *that*, Esrom."
peccable walks over to triage.
Paolo claps hard
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "also, I'm getting a free update on all Bedlam injokes"
[peanut-gallery] Spinster says, "UNIT(TRIAGE).STATUS: GOOD MACHINE"
peccable pushes the emerald. It starts glowing.
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "I really really need to make time to play it now"
Sarcasmo follows peccable up the stairs
[peanut-gallery] Gunther asks (of davidw), "?"
[peanut-gallery] Dino says, "Me too"
peccable gestures toward the award.
DavidW cheers
Paolo points at triage itself and gets it in a stack overflow
[peanut-gallery] Random-Q-Hacker had trouble with the taxis.
[peanut-gallery] Jota says (to Gunther), "Yeah."
alkahest pets triage. "good machine."
peccable says, "Ok...it says..."
[peanut-gallery] DavidW says, "Esrom was silly enough to proclaim that Triage isn't an NPC."
Guest8 says, "desc me =You see a well dressed man with a target where his head should be."
peccable says, "CAT:TRIAGE.MESSA"
Guest8 goes home.
</Guest8> Bring a heart that's full of wonder and a cork nut for Alex.
peccable says, "GE.UTIL:RESPONSE"
peccable says, "REPLY.PART:<EMB"
yhlee squints at Triage's display.
Rob claps
peccable says, "ARASSMENT><PRIDE"
[peanut-gallery] JessK says, "Me too Q"
Rob says, "yay!"
Gunther stares.
peccable says, "><JOY>THANK.YOU."
Jearl applauds
Rob cheers!
Matthew applauds and cheers yet more.
Psmith says, "great speech!"
Paul exclaims, "Great speech! Yay Triage!"
peccable says, "VERY.MUCH.I.AM.H"
DavidW says, "hooray!"
[peanut-gallery] (from Dino) Guest 8 screws up the desc command and manages to boot himself.
zarf says, "yay"
yhlee applauds again.
Paolo exclaims, "/WINgoodTHANKSspeakNOW>"
peccable says, "ONORED.TO.RECEIV"
K-Y says, "yay grid speech"
peccable says, "E.THIS.AWARD...."
peccable says, "Huh."
Bishop falls over.
peccable smiles.
[peanut-gallery] yhlee says, "Ah, handy ellipses."
J_J_Guest exclaims, "Hooray!"
peccable exclaims, "Thank you everyone!"
Rob claps more
Addreamy claps even louder
Emmett exclaims, "Noo-nee-noo-nee-noo!"
Guest4 exclaims, "Woohoo!!!!"
lpsmith cheers!
eileen applauds wildly
Photon applauds.
DavidW clappity-claps.
peccable wanders off stage and Triage follows.
Matthew claps and claps.
yhlee applauds.
Jearl says, "wooooo!"
Paul claps for all three!
Storme applauds muchly
JessK says, "yay stb!"
Sarcasmo says, "thank you"
alkahest says, "cheers"
Gunther says, "recipe!"
atholbrose exclaims, "yay!"
K-Y applauds
alkahest cheers
Random-Q-Hacker did not read that as std.
Sargent says, "woo!"
Emmett cheers for STB
DavidW says, "good job."
lpsmith walks up to the stage, giving the exiting Triage a very wide berth.
[peanut-gallery] kyria79 asks, "I didn't realize the awards took this long... I'm ordering pizza, anybody in?"
Matthew claps.
[peanut-gallery] Matthew says (to kyria), "We're not even close to being done yet."
inky peeks cautiously out from backstage and comes on as Triage leaves.
[peanut-gallery] alkahest says, "mmmmm ... pizza"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "we've hardly begun"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "we're halfway to the halftime show"
[peanut-gallery] kyria79 says (to matthew), "I see..."
inky takes his seat again hastily
lpsmith says (to inky), "It's safe. I hope."
peccable says, ""Thanks.""
[peanut-gallery] alkahest exclaims, "or chinese food!"
peccable smiles.
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "fortunately I bought danishes beforehand"
[peanut-gallery] yhlee says, "Had pizza last night."
[peanut-gallery] Gunther asks (of Rob), "on a 5-second delay?"
[peanut-gallery] zarf asks, "I have cookies. Anyone want a cookie?"
[peanut-gallery] yhlee says, "Wonderful Husband of Cooking +5 produced pancakes."
[peanut-gallery] Spinster says, "I heard the chuds will be doing a musical."
Chrysoula smiles at peccable.
[peanut-gallery] kyria79 says (to alkahest), "but I had some bad chinese a couple nights ago"
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says (to Zarf), "ooh! Me!"
[peanut-gallery] yhlee exclaims, "Ooh! Ooh! I'll trade you an origami leaf for a cookie!"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says (to yhlee), "hoooray"