On February 28, 2004, at 1:30 P.M. EST (6:30 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you not wish to see those comments, an expurgated version is also available.

 

lpsmith says, "Next up, we have the award for Best Individual PC."
Matthew claps.
[peanut-gallery] baf says, "I remember my first game. It was a goldskull-like triviality called Frog Adventure."
Rob claps
zebulon cheers
Gunther says, "Renee Zellweger! Oh wait"
FreakBoy cheers!
Addreamy claps
peccable claps.
[peanut-gallery] Iain says (to Rob), "Woohoo, well done."
JessK yays.
Sargent says, "woo"
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "My first game, 10 print "Jacqueline is so cool." 20 goto 10, was not very interactive, but I enjoyed it immensely at age 8."
kyria79 screams with pleasure
lpsmith exclaims, "And here to present, the winner from last year, Pierre!"
[peanut-gallery] Rob beams
Pierre arrives from the west.
[peanut-gallery] Iain says, "And not well done to Roob or Roo as I nearly typed."
[peanut-gallery] Matthew says (to Jacqueline), "Ha ha ha."
J_J_Guest claps!
Sarcasmo exclaims (at Gunther), "Johnny Depp!"
Chrysoula eeks.
Gunther says, "Ello Pierre!"
Sarcasmo applaud
Sarcasmo applauds
Paolo claps
zebulon applauds Pierre
Pierre steps to the podium
[peanut-gallery] Spinster asks, "Uh. Where is everyone?"
[peanut-gallery] Bishop, to his shame, doesn't even remember what game won last year.
Storme says, "woo, Pierre!"
Vodel exclaims, "Look to the west on the third day!"
[peanut-gallery] Matthew says (to Spinster), "The auditorium."
[peanut-gallery] inky says (to Spinster), "type XYZZY"
[peanut-gallery] Storme says, "Savoir-Faire"
Spinster walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice Spinster approaching it from the other side.
[peanut-gallery] alkahest says, "mine was a lot like a day for soft food, but written by a nine-year old in BASIC"
Pierre bows professionally.
[peanut-gallery] baf says, "e s e from the Lounge"
DavidW bows to Pierre.
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says, "Ah."
Matthew claps.
kyria79 concentrates, and disappears.
kyria79 walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice her approaching it from the other side.
[peanut-gallery] Spinster says, "Personally I hope 'Rape Pillage Galore' wins."
maga says, "PIERRE"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "mine was a CYOA"
[peanut-gallery] yhlee says, "Oh dear."
Pierre says, "Good afternoon."
Rob says, "ZUT ALORS"
[peanut-gallery] alkahest says, "it was about my kitty :)"
Sargent says, "JE SUIS UN ROBO"
Gunther says (to Rob), "Thanks, BrenBarn"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says (to Sargent), "yay!"
Gunther says, "SACRE BLEU"
Storme says (to SArgent), "VICHY"
Sargent says, "RAR"
[peanut-gallery] JessK says (to Gunther), "mine too"
DavidW says (to Pierre), "You still got it."
Storme says, "yay"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says (to gunther), "I couldn't help myself!"
Jacqueline says, "MON DIEU! C'EST PIERRE!"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says (to Rob), "here, have my astrolabe"
Pierre says, "I have taken your host's kind invitation to come here and present the 2003 award for Best Individual PC, but first I have some business to attend to."
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "And he's not speaking French. Damn."
maga exclaims (at Pierre), "it had better be smooch-related!"
peccable uh-ohs.
Pierre straightens seriously.
[peanut-gallery] yhlee says, "Helas."
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "c'est la vie"
[peanut-gallery] inky says (to Jacqueline), "he's subtitled"
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says, "Hmm, having Rob's game win reminds me: was the wacky Hamlet on the list of games this year? That had almost as much retro charm as ASCII."
[peanut-gallery] kyria79 exclaims, "what's more important than these awards?!"
Chrysoula sighs dreamily.
Sarcasmo looks concerned
[peanut-gallery] Sargent says, "He's going to want us to take up a collection for him"
[peanut-gallery] Jota says, "(Grr. I spend my attention carefully replying to Guest5 explaining about Guests not being able to join channels and creating characters and how to whisper, and he just does an @joinc and leaves.)"
[peanut-gallery] brut says, "Chuvaki, neuzheli net russkih sovsem, a to i podelitsa ne s kem :("
eileen peers nervously over her playbill
[peanut-gallery] JessK asks (of Bishop), "Wasn't that this year?"
Pierre says, "It is a matter of grave -- dare I say, criminal -- concern, regarding a certain egregious culinary error that was brought to my attention."
KevinL goes home.
</KevinL> KevinL has disconnected from ifMUD.
Matthew exclaims, "!"
Storme says, "oh no!"
peccable asks, "Does it involve cheese?"
Rob gasps
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says (to brut), "um, er... polyushko pole, tovarich"
zebulon gasps, twice
Pierre says, "Involving something known as 'Cheez Whiz'."
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says, "Yeah, that's why I wondered."
Emmett says, "Someone got peanut butter in his chocolate."
Storme says, "aie!"
inky says, "ha ha ha"
lpsmith peers back into the kitchen
Matthew exclaims, "!!"
Rob says, "hee hee hee"
Pierre grimaces visably
yhlee exclaims, "Oh no!"
Sargent says, "ha!"
peccable turns ashen.
inky says (to Pierre), "it's Sargent's fault!"
Gunther crosses self.
Jacqueline says, "Oh no."
maga exclaims, "le horreur!"
Vodel weeps openly, then stops
DavidW says, "We need! more! hollandise sauce!"
Sargent says (to inky), "Those were bacon bars, I swear!"
[peanut-gallery] brut (to gunther) ))))))
Kwi shrieks in horror.
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says, "Nem ert'em, bocs'anat."
yhlee asks, "Ils mangent comme les vaches espagnoles?"
[peanut-gallery] maga says, "bork bork bork"
Gunther says, "fechez la vache!"
Pierre says, "Yes. Yes. And I thought it my solemn duty to rectify this situation by presenting something much more palatable. Hence:"
Pierre says, "Courgette & Brie soup: Add diced Brie to courgettes and onion simmered in chicken or vegetable stock. Purie, reheat and garnish with extra diced brie and crispy grilled bacon, cut into strips."
JessK whets her lips
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says (to Gunther), "le yay!"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "hee hee"
[peanut-gallery] (from Gunther) Pierre says, "Vichysoisse soup avec rat hair"
Rob says, "mmm!"
J_J_Guest exclaims, "hooray for cheese!"
zebulon makes mental note of recipe
[peanut-gallery] maga says, "YAY"
Storme says, "hey, I make that soup quite often!"
[peanut-gallery] DavidW says, "le yipe"
Sarcasmo feels her stomach growl (She really should have eaten before squeezing herself into this dress)
[peanut-gallery] Adam says (to Gunther), "That was a last-minute change, by the by"
BoingBall walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
alkahest exclaims, "SOUP !!!!!!!!!!!!!"
[peanut-gallery] Matthew asks, "What are courgettes?"
Sargent says, "that contains no process cheese food product whatsoever!"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says (to Adam), "excellent"
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says, "Small courges."
[peanut-gallery] baf says, "Zucchini"
[peanut-gallery] Adam says, "Originally it was just a regular soup, which became 'rat stew'"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "zucchini"
[peanut-gallery] Matthew says, "Ah."
[peanut-gallery] Storme says, "(I am not kidding, I do make that soup)"
[peanut-gallery] brut says (to gunther), "Bronja krepka, i tanki nshi bistri"
lpsmith cheers courgettes, with the accomplished aplomb of someone who knows what they are.
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says (to Adam), "it's so much funnier"
Pierre says (to Sargent), "And I expect you to be more responsible with your culinary choices in the future."
[peanut-gallery] maga asks (of Storme), "where do you get your rat?"
[peanut-gallery] Adam says, "But the higher-ups at Lucasarts were concerned that might disturb some people"
Rob claps
[peanut-gallery] Storme says, "not *that* soup"
[peanut-gallery] Paul says, "Yay xyzzy recipes! I see a cookbook in our future..."
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says, "I remember courgettes as something Storme talks about more than the rest of us, for some reason."
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says (to brut), "sorry, I don't actually speak Russian"
Sargent says (to Pierre), "I thank you for the correction, and will merely note that I don't *eat* these foods, I merely encourage others to do so."
[peanut-gallery] yhlee says, "Now I'm starting to be embarrassed about my cooking."
lpsmith laughs.
[peanut-gallery] Storme says (to bishop), "that's because they're nummy"
Pierre says, "Now, on to the other matter at hand, the nominees for Best Individual PC (player character) are:"
<Guest5> Alex says, "Awwwk! Word on the street is that you are... um, seven?"
(From Gunther) Sargent sprays Pierre with Cheez Whiz
DavidW says, "Sarge: Cheez Whiz spokesperson."
Guest5 walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice it approaching it from the other side.
alkahest claps
[peanut-gallery] brut says (to gunther), "that's just a song about war 2"
[peanut-gallery] Sargent says, "Cheez Whiz Are It"
Pierre says, "The PC in Episode in the Life of an Artist, by Peter Eastman."
Rob claps!
zebulon cheers
alkahest all your cheez are belong to us
peccable cheers.
Addreamy claps
Sarcasmo claps
<Photon> The Electromagnetic Field produces a new Photon.
Gunther claps.
alkahest claps
DavidW claps.
Storme applauds
Matthew claps.
zarf cheez
J_J_Guest exclaims, "hoorah!"
Sargent says, "yay!"
lpsmith claps!
Paolo says, "yay artist"
two-star cheers.
Paul exclaims, "Yay Autist! Er, Artist!"
yhlee cheers.
atholbrose cheezes... er, cheers.
kyria79 whistles
Photon walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
alkahest exclaims, "yay!"
yhlee laughs.
Pierre says, "The chef in Gourmet, by Aaron Reed."
Rob claps!
Jearl claps
zebulon claps
Addreamy claps
alkahest exclaims, "yay!"
Matthew claps.
Gunther applauds.
JessK says, "yay chef"
Paul claps
Storme applauds more
peccable cheers!
DavidW claps.
FreakBoy cheers!
Paolo exclaims, "YAY CHEF!"
kyria79 claps
JoshuaH appluads.
Sarcasmo applauds
lpsmith exclaims, "Zut alors!"
Sargent says, "woo!"
Vodel claps
Rob says, "hurrah"
yhlee appluads.
Spinster whistles.
atholbrose claps and claps.
Paul exclaims, "Yay retro chef!"
Dino claps
<Guest7> This is a test. This is a test of the Guest Connection System. This is only a test.
Gunther says, "VOUS ETRE UN CHEF"
J_J_Guest exclaims, "hooray for cheese! and Lobster!"
alkahest w00t!
Pierre says, "Eugene Oregon in Narcolepsy, by Adam Cadre."
Bishop says, "WHAT YOU ARE!""
Rob applauds!
lobster clacks his claws
Jacqueline claps.
Matthew applauds.
Addreamy claps
Jearl says, "zzz!"
DavidW claps.
Paul exclaims, "Yay sleepy guy!"
BoingBall claps
yhlee claps.
zebulon cheers wildly
Scott claps
Guest7 arrives from the west.
Spinster jumps around
Sargent says, "Yay Eugene"
Sarcasmo claps
atholbrose whooooooooos.
JoshuaH claps.
Paolo exclaims, "go Euguene!"
Jacqueline scoots away from the lobster.
Gunther says, "yoogene!"
alkahest exclaims, "yay eugene!"
lpsmith cheers!
Pierre says, "Enra in Shadows on the Mirror, by Chrysoula Tzavelas."
yhlee eyes the lobster hungrily.
Matthew claps.
Guest3 applauds with enthusiasm.
Addreamy claps
DavidW claps.
Sarcasmo applauds
maga says, "yay"
Sargent says, "yay"
Paolo claps
Storme says, "yay"
Jacqueline applauds loudly.
Photon disappears because his wave function has suddenly collapsed.
</Photon> Photon's state vector oscillates out of this dimension.
kyria79 pulls out a noise maker from new year's and goes crazy with it
zebulon claps
alkahest claps
Gunther says, "yay shady mirror"
peccable claps.
atholbrose applauseseses.
Bishop exclaims, "Woo weird psychic chyk!"
lpsmith applauds!
yhlee exclaims, "Hurrah!"
Paul Yay mysterious PC!
Spinster getting tired of clapping here.
JessK says, "yay enra!""
<Photon> The Electromagnetic Field produces a new Photon.
Rob applauds
Photon walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
Jearl claps
Pierre says, "And lastly, Dr. Thomas Xavier in Slouching Towards Bedlam, by Daniel Ravipinto and Star Foster."
Rob claps
Sargent applauds.
Addreamy claps
zebulon cheers
Jearl says, "woot!"
kyria79 cheers
inky says (to Spinster), "the trick is to pace yourself"
JessK claps
Jacqueline claps.
yhlee claps.
Spinster says, "Hoorj"
Gunther says, "yay Patrick Stewart"
Paolo cheers
DavidW claps a little louder.
Storme applauds
Vodel murmurs apologies, says something about pressing engagements and slips quietly out the back
alkahest yay!
Paul exclaims, "Yay Professor X! Er, Dr. X!"
Emmett cheers wildly
peccable laughs.
Matthew applauds loudly.
Bishop laughs.\
inky claps
eileen applauds all of the nominees
Vodel congratulates all the nominess and winners
lpsmith yells "But he d--" He is immediately swarmed by the spoiler police.
Rob asks, "wait, is that the PC or is it ... something else ...?"
Rob says, "rrarr"
inky says, "oooOooo"
Vodel goes home.
</Vodel> Vodel has disconnected from ifMUD.
Rob claps instead
Pierre says, "And the winner is...."
FreakBoy starts drumroll.
alkahest claps for the poor doctor
Paul exclaims (at lpsmith), "Ha!"
Gunther says, "MYSTERIOUS"
Pierre takes out a snuffbox
Random-Q-Hacker says, "/announceawardyes/"
Paolo says, "don't make xavier speak if he wins"
alkahest is on the edge of her seat ,,,
Jearl swwons from the excitement
peccable laughs.
Emmett nominatedforawardmustdressnicely
Matthew says (to Random-Q-Hacker), "Yay."
Chrysoula bites nails
yhlee gets out her banan--earplugs.
Pierre opens his snuffbox, causing his envelope to open and burst with confetti
inky says (to Paolo), "ha ha"
Sargent says, "man, if Xavier wins, I won't be listening to next year's presentation"
Jearl says, "yay!"
Gunther says, "mm, confetti"
brut goes home.
</brut> brut has disconnected from ifMUD.
Sarcasmo laughs
FreakBoy continues drumroll.
Pierre reads his envelope
<Patchwork> Patchwork has connected to ifMUD.
<brut> brut has connected to ifMUD.
kyria79 is still waiting
Pierre says, "The PC in Episode in the Life of an Artist, by Peter Eastman."
Patchwork arrives from the west.
Rob says, "whoa!"
inky says, "!"
peccable cheers!
Rob claps!
Guest4 exclaims, "Hooray!"
Matthew claps.
Gunther says (to Pierre), "*inside* the envel... oh, you got it"
Paolo exclaims, "YAY ARTIST!"
Sarcasmo applauds
Addreamy claps thunderously, totally thrilled
Bishop applauds.
JessK says, "YAY"
brut arrives from the west.
lpsmith exclaims, "Whoo!"
inky says, "dark horse!"
maga says, "boo"
Guest2 goes home.
</Guest2> Well THAT was certainly... interesting.
Emmett applauds
eileen applauds madly
FreakBoy applauds.
DavidW says, "wow."
yhlee exclaims, "Congratulations!"
K-Y applauds
zebulon conjures up some birlliant fireworks
Sargent says, "yay!"
alkahest cheers and goes wild!!!!!!!
kyria79 says, "waHOO"
Paul exclaims, "RIGHT ON! I loved that PC!"
Rob says, "unexpected new guy!"
Storme applauds the winner
Jearl applauds
JessK says, "whoa again"
zarf says, "yay"
Gunther applauds.
Spinster exclaims, "Boo! I mean, Yay!"
Jota claps.
two-star says, "Yay."
atholbrose applauds!
DavidW claps.
J_J_Guest exclaims, "yay!"
JoshuaH claps.
Rob asks, "who needs eggs anyway?"
Bishop exclaims, "Hooray unexpectedness!"
Sargent says, "Congrats to the non-ageless, non-faceless, non-genderless adventurer!"
DorianX says, "A little while ago, someone called my home"
inky says, "hee hee"
Iain asks (of Sargent), "Not non-adventurer?"
alkahest exclaims, "YAY!!!!!!!!"
zebulon exclaims, "Yay non-ageless, non-faceless, non-genderless adventurers!"
Paolo says, "I guess he must be a great talker"
Gunther says (to sarg), "AKA Nanf Nga"
Rob applauds
[peanut-gallery] Kwi says, "Wow, fast scrolling..."
JessK goes home.
</JessK> JessK has disconnected from ifMUD.
lpsmith asks, "Do we have a Peter Eastman in the audience?"
Guest4 is eaten by a grue.
[peanut-gallery] Kwi could use a grep-tool right now.
[peanut-gallery] Iain says, "Yeah, 80s Nintendo games have nothing on us."
Gunther says, "me me no wait"
Photon applauds.
[peanut-gallery] kyria79 asks, "jess, where did you go?"
<JessK> JessK has connected to ifMUD.
JessK arrives from the west.
brut goes home.
</brut> brut has disconnected from ifMUD.
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says (to kwi), "you can always read the blackboard"
two-star says, "Time to get the cardboard and the xacto knife."
[peanut-gallery] kyria79 sighs in relief
Rob checks under his seat
inky says, "maybe Grocible could accept on behalf of Kodak"
[peanut-gallery] yhlee says, "Kerowyn, Kerowyn, where are you going...whoops, wrong setting."
<brut> brut has connected to ifMUD.
alkahest claps and claps and claps and claps ...
brut arrives from the west.
Guest4 waves to jessk! <-- Quintin Stone
(From Adam) Grocible says, "He's behind the picture frame."
[peanut-gallery] Chrysoula says (to yhlee), "Yay!"
Gunther says, "hee hee"
J_J_Guest says, "hello Quintin"
JessK says, "Yay Quintin! Good to see you!"
lpsmith says, "Well, thank you Peter Eastman, wherever you are."
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "I thought q-stone was q-stone, not a guest"
DavidW claps.
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says, "So did I."
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "yeah, me too"
lpsmith says, "We'll give your award to the guy with a chicken on his head."
[peanut-gallery] Kwi says (to Gunther), "Hey, thanks for reminding me! That's neat."
Gunther says, "Speech! Speech!"
[peanut-gallery] Spinster says, "I think XYZZY awards is doing a 'return to origins' thing."
Guest4 says, "I'm on vacation, not able to connect to my normal acct."
peccable says, ""Yay!""
Sargent says, "Where have you gone, Peter Eastman? Heaven holds a place for those who don't really do much of anything."
[peanut-gallery] Paul exclaims, "One of them must be an IMPOSTOR!"
[peanut-gallery] maga exclaims (at Spinster), "hooray for crap!"
lpsmith says, "I'm sure he'll give it to you."
alkahest exclaims, "yay guy with chicken on head!!!"
[peanut-gallery] Paolo says, "nice surprising awards"
[peanut-gallery] kyria79 exclaims, "bring in the imposter police!"
yhlee exclaims, "go chickens!"
Rob says, "yay chicken guy!"
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says, "Yeah, so far this is pleasantly surprising."
Gunther says (to yhlee), "that's what they say in Thailand"
Emmett claps and b'gocks