On February 28, 2004, at 1:30 P.M. EST (6:30 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you not wish to see those comments, an expurgated version is also available.

 

lpsmith exclaims, "OK, next up: Best Writing!"
Matthew claps.
alkahest exclaims, "yay!"
lpsmith exclaims, "And here to present: The Justiciar!"
TheJusticiar emerges from out of a (convenient) tapestry, weaving herself into existence. Then she bows, tucks her fan into a sleeve, and draws out a sheaf of notes folded into origami leaves, a stilled moment of autumn.
Rob says, "write write write!"
zebulon yays
Chrysoula says, "Woohoooo!"
Rob claps
Paul cowers.
Gunther asks, "the who?"
Psmith says, "yay!"
BoingBall has disconnected.
BoingBall has connected.
BoingBall disappears through an invisible gap in the MUD. You think you may have heard the sounds of chatting before the gap closed again.
DavidW says, "whoa"
JessK says, "yay for the justiciar!!"
kyria79 readjusts her bean bag
Chrysoula says, "Oh, goodness, yay!"
BoingBall walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
Matthew claps.
TheJusticiar says, "I am honored to present the XYZZY award for Best Calligr--Writing. The nominees are..."
Skip goes home.
</Skip> Skip has disconnected from ifMUD.
[peanut-gallery] alkahest asks, "whaddaya bet dan and star win this too?"
Jearl says, "yay!"
lpsmith chuckles.
Rob claps
inky says (to Gunther), "from Moonlit Tower, natch"
TheJusticiar reads from a leaf on which cryptic characters wind across the paper, a cipher beyond knowing.
(From FreakBoy) Everyone applauds.
Rob says, "yay calligrwriting"
[peanut-gallery] Chrysoula says, "memory entity from Moonlit Tower."
TheJusticiar says, "City of Secrets, by Emily Short"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "this sounds like a emily win"
Addreamy claps
(From FreakBoy) Everyone applauds.
peccable cheers
Gunther says (to inky), "doh"
Rob applauds
Sarcasmo applaud
zebulon cheers
maga says, "yay"
Matthew cheers!
lpsmith cheers!
inky whistles
JoshuaH cheers.
Paul exclaims, "Yay CoS and ES!"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "I'm thinking mebbe so"
alkahest exclaims, "hurrah!"
[peanut-gallery] Artis asks, "Wouldn't that be best typing?"
DavidW claps
TheJusticiar looks in alarm at the next note, from which a raucously colorful feather drifts, sizzling with sparks.
Rob says, "oooooh ahhh"
TheJusticiar says, "Max Blaster and Doris de Lightning Against the Parrot Creatures of Venus, by Dan Shiovitz and Emily Short."
(From FreakBoy) Everyone applauds.
[peanut-gallery] Iain asks (of Artis), "Huh?"
Rob says, "yay!"
Sargent says, "yay feather!"
peccable cheers!
Chrysoula says, "Yayayyayayy! Max Blaster!"
zebulon claps
Addreamy claps
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "I really wish people wouldn't clap for me. I don't want to clap for everything, after all."
alkahest says, "pretty"
Sarcasmo applauds
Matthew cheers!
Chrysoula says, "Yayyayya Doris!"
Jearl says, "hee!"
inky says, "yay sparkly"
DavidW claps
Paolo says, "yayay"
liza says, "Yay games I have played"
Paul exclaims, "Yay MBaDdLAtPCoV and DS and ES!"
Rob says, "max! doris! rocket pants!"
lpsmith cheers again!
Emmett cheers wildly
Jacqueline claps.
Gunther doesn't clap for Jacqueline.
Rob says, "parrots!"
kyria79 laughs
Gunther says, "as per request"
TheJusticiar retrieves and unfolds her fan just in time to conceal her yawn as she reads the next one.
Jacqueline claps for herself!
TheJusticiar says, "Narcolepsy, by Adam Cadre."
(From FreakBoy) Everyone except Jacqueline applauds.
peccable claps.
inky says, "hee hee"
Addreamy claps
Spinster says, "Your hands will fall off if you do that."
Jearl says, "yaaay!"
Rob applauds
Iain says, "Heh."
Paul exclaims, "Yay N and AC!"
Sarcasmo claps
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "heh"
Matthew claps!
zebulon cheers
inky says, "yay Narcolepsy"
Paolo says, "yay N"
ParserGirl arrives from the west.
[peanut-gallery] Ghogg asks, "but who claps for The Clapper?"
peccable says, ""Yay!""
Sargent says, "woo"
Emmett shakes his big foam 'IF #1' finger in the air
Kwi swoons.
alkahest exclaims, "yay!"
[peanut-gallery] kyria79 says, "my hands are already numb from clapping"
[peanut-gallery] Ellison says (to Ghogg), "hee"
inky says (to Paul), "I think you forgot an R in there"
TheJusticiar peers around suspiciously as the Word scribed upon this leaf unbraids itself into several.
lpsmith applauds.
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "yay big foam finger"
[peanut-gallery] Jearl says, "might as well keep on then"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says (to Rob), "...of doom"
TheJusticiar says, "Slouching Towards Bedlam, by Daniel Ravipinto and Star Foster."
(From FreakBoy) Everyone except Jacqueline applauds.
Rob claps
Addreamy claps
Sargent says, "woo"
Matthew applauds1
zebulon claps
Paolo says, "w00t"
Jearl claps
Matthew exclaims, "!"
Paul exclaims, "Yay STB and DR and SF!"
DavidW says, "claps"
JessK waves big foam finger
Jacqueline claps.
lpsmith cheers!
JoshuaH exclaims, "yay Word!"
inky applauds
Guest2 applauds.
Paul asks (of inky), "Where?"
Gunther clappity clap
alkahest holds up a sign saying "i [heart] STB!!!!"
Emmett exclaims, "HOORAY FOR WRITING!"
kyria79 steals JessK's foam finger
TheJusticiar frowns at the laundry to-do list on one side of the leaf, then turns it over to find the final nominee.
peccable laughs.
alkahest claps
inky says (to Paul), "after the N, and between the A and the C"
TheJusticiar says, "To Hell in a Hamper, by J. J. Guest."
(From FreakBoy) Everyone except Jacqueline applauds.
J_J_Guest exclaims, "Yay me!"
peccable cheers.
Rob applauds
Sargent says, "woo"
Matthew claps.
Addreamy claps
inky says, "yay you!"
Paolo exclaims, "most alarming!"
Jearl claps
zebulon applauds, redunndantly
alkahest claps
JessK says, "hoory you!"
Paul exclaims, "Yay THiaH and JJG!"
Gunther says, "yay me! er, you"
Rob says, "yay suspiciously bulgy overcoats"
atholbrose exclaims, "yay nominees!"
atholbrose claps
TheJusticiar clears her throat.
Dino claps
peccable exclaims, "Yay acronyms!"
Rob says, "wait, tsd"
Guest2 cheers J.J. Guest on!
eileen applauds all the nominees
Kwi says (to zebulon), "You can never clap redundantly!"
TheJusticiar says, "Surely an occasion such as this deserves a little commemorating haiku:"
Sargent says (to Rob), "heh"
Paul says (to inky), "I'll never make it on IF Celebrity Spelling Bee"
Chrysoula says, "oooh haiku"
Emmett says, "uh-oh"
inky says (to Paul), "hee hee"
Guest4 exclaims, "Woooooo!!!"
Sarcasmo says, "yay clever presentation"
lpsmith exclaims, "Yay haiku!"
Matthew exclaims, "Yay spam-free awards!"
Paul exclaims, "Yay commemorating haiku!"
Sargent says (to Paul), "just make sure you're competing against Rybred"
TheJusticiar says, "when walking through dreams/ or past the world's boundaries/ beware of the maze"
TheJusticiar bows toward Adam, smiling.
Rob says, "oooo"
[peanut-gallery] alkahest says, "i ku, you ku, we all ku for haiku ..."
Jearl says, "YAAAY!"
[peanut-gallery] kyria79 says, "foul! delay of play"
Chrysoula says, "Yay!"
Kwi claps.
Sargent says, "Woo!"
Guest4 exclaims, "Hooray for mazes!"
Rob says, "yay!@"
TheJusticiar says, "Narcolepsy, by Adam Cadre, has prevailed in its dedication to form, rhythm, and not a little humor: all marks of excellent calligr--writing."
FreakBoy starts drumroll.
lpsmith exclaims, "W00t!"
[peanut-gallery] Bishop left to break into his office and missed everything.
Ghogg exclaims, "Woot!"
Chrysoula says, "Very very very nice presentatioN!"
peccable cheers.
Gunther says, "Applausola!"
TheJusticiar says (to Adam), "It would, of course, be appropriate for you to produce your own haiku in response...but that is at your discretion."
Matthew claps and claps.
Rob applauds Adam
inky says, "yay narcolepsy!"
Paolo exclaims, "AYAY"
Adam says, "Oh, yay"
Storme says, "yay adam!"
Addreamy cheers
JoshuaH claps.
Sarcasmo claps
zarf says, "Yay"
JessK says, "Yay for narcolepsy!!!"
maga says, "boo"
zebulon exclaims, "HAIKU! HAIKU!"
Guest4 exclaims, "Haiku!"
Paolo clappos manis
K-Y applauds
inky says (to maga), "shush"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says (to Bishop), "check out the blackboard"
alkahest exclaims, "yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!"
Paul bows to Adam, then cheers also!
Adam says, "I actually have a speech prepared here"
Guest4 exclaims, "Haikue!"
eileen claps appreciatively
Adam says, "Just a moment"
Rob says, "hey, I wrote part of that! yay me too"
Jearl says, "Limerick!"
Adam says, "Okay, here we go"
Ghogg says, "woo woo"
Emmett cheers, and then suddenly falls asleep
inky says (to Rob), "hee hee"
Adam says, "'Thanks, etc.'"
Paolo exclaims, "esperanto!"
(From Sargent) Adam says, "Zzzz."
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says, "OK, just missed Best Writing."
Jota applauds.
Gunther says (to Adam), "yay"
maga has something like a tragic horse with a beard.
</maga> And this is a silly argument.
Kwi says, "Yay!"
[peanut-gallery] Random-Q-Hacker says, "narcolepsy"
[peanut-gallery] Bishop asks, "Are we on Best Game now?"
liza says (to Rob), "My first XYZZY award!"
lpsmith laughs.
Paul says, "Excellent speech."
Matthew claps.
Rob says (to liza), "yay you!"
peccable exclaims, "Yay! Short speech!"
Sarcasmo applauds
inky says, "hee hee"
alkahest exclaims, "yay adam!"
TheJusticiar looks at Adam, nonplussed.
Adam says, "Also, I think half the people in the room here should applaud themselves"
peccable applauds.
liza says, "Adam should've had a bunch of random people write his speech too"
Sargent says, "Yay us!"
Chrysoula says, "Yay Adam!"
Rob claps!
Paul applauds himself!
[peanut-gallery] kyria79 says (to bishop), "I'm completely lost, sorry"
Matthew says (to liza), "Hee hee."
TheJusticiar joins in the applause.
lpsmith exclaims, "Yay contributors!"
Jearl says, "woot!"
peccable exclaims, ""Yay collaborators!"
Addreamy applauds
zebulon applauds everybody who applauds themselves
JessK says, "yay all yall!"
Paolo exclaims, "yay multiple authors"
zarf asks, "What, half of us deserve it twice as much as they think?"
Emmett applauds no more than 50% of the room
Guest4 applauds half the people in the room
peccable laughs.
Iain says (to liza), "Lets all grab his hands and smack them together a bunch of times."
Sarcasmo says, "yay everybody"
Rob says, "yay"
FreakBoy applauds everybody who does not applaud themselves.
Iain says, "Er, let's."
Jota applauds the half who shouldn't applaud themselves.
inky applauds everyone who doesn't applaud themselves
inky says, "hee hee"
[peanut-gallery] (from Ellison) Adam says, "The other half should be ashamed, very ashamed."
Ced applauds the half the people who aren't applauding themselves
Rob says, "hee hee"
Photon doesn't know how to applaud himself.
Bishop exclaims (at FreakBoy), "Yay!"
FreakBoy vanishes in a puff of logic.
Rob laughs and claps
Jearl tries to start a wave
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "heh"
alkahest claps for everyone who worked on Narcolepsy
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "hee hee"
zebulon is ashamed, very ashamed
Gunther applauds half of everyone who doesn't applaud everyone who should applaud everyone else
Sarcasmo thinks you should only applaud yourself in private
Chrysoula applauds Narcolepsy!
Sargent says, "Did I work on Narcolepsy? It's hard to recall -- I've slept since then."
Bishop's head explodes.
Rob says, "rah rah"
Emmett fears the applause loop
Ellison says, "haha"
Iain applauds Sargent.
Guest2 whees.
[peanut-gallery] Yoon says, "Oh dear...Russell's paradox in XYZZY awards...now I've seen it all."
Adam says, "Anyway, again, thank you very much"
Adam sits down
Rob continues the wave, to no avail
Matthew claps some more.
lpsmith claps!
Paul exclaims, "Yay, etc.!"
Rob applauds Adam again
peccable cheers.
Sarcasmo claps
Addreamy cheers
Sargent says (to Paul), "woo!"
Photon exclaims, "Great speech!"
alkahest exclaims, "cheers!"
zarf claps
[peanut-gallery] Chrysoula asks, "Is this a short award ceremony?"
kyria79 appears confused, but claps nonetheless
[peanut-gallery] Sargent says, "moderately so"