On March 9th, 2008, at 4:00 P.M. EDT, the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, not including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you wish to see those comments, a version with those comments is also available.
lpsmith exclaims, "OK! Our next award is for Best Individual NPC, presented by our very own Eric Eve!"
Eric climbs the steps, trips on the top one, and sprawls headlong across the stage.
Merk exclaims, "Yay Eric!"
Guest1 arrives from the west.
Merk says, "oh."
lpsmith helps Eric up.
McMartin exclaims, "Yay lack of permanent injuries!"
Eric taps the microphone.
Eric says, "Can you all hear me at the back?""
duesen points at Eric, "Who's that?"
lpsmith asks, "I did mention our insurance lapsed, didn't I?"
Eric says, "My lords, ladies and gentlemen...""
Taleslinger says (to duesen), "Shh"
lpsmith updates the BEST USE OF MEDIUM entry on the chalkboard.
Eric says, "The nominations for the Best Individual NPC of 2007 are..."
lpsmith updates the BEST INDIVIDUAL PC entry on the chalkboard.
Eric removes a sealed envelope from an inside pocket.
Eric slits open the envelope with an elvish sword.
Emily says, "Jim Aikin is going to want that back when you're done with it"
Eric drops the contents all over the stage, but manages to retrieve one piece of paper.
DavidW asks, "er, what were the nominees?"
Eric says, "First: Zoe in Child's Play, by Stephen Granade"
Jacqueline says, "Hooray Zoe."
Emily says, "woo"
DavidW says, "yay"
yandexx Zoe is bad girl.
Taleslinger screams for mummy.
Merk exclaims, "Yah! Good luck!"
Emerald says, "yay Zoe!"
Eric wipes his spectacles and peers at the page.
olethros says, "whoooah"
VictorGijsbers turns the organ furiously, creating the effect of a 33 rpm disc played at 45 rpm.
Taleslinger covers his ears.
Eric glances at the page and clears his throat.
Eric says, "Second: The gnome in Lost Pig, by Admiral Jota as "Grunk""
Merk exclaims, "Yay gnome. You rock!"
duesen exclaims, "ouch!"
Jacqueline says, "Yay Gnome!"
yandexx exclaims, "Yay for gnome!"
DavidW says, "yo yo gnome"
Taleslinger says, "Yay gnome!"
VictorGijsbers feeds a traditional gnomish mining song into the organ.
Taleslinger covers his ears.
Eric peers at the envelope again
Eric says, "It seems there's only three nominees for this award this year."
Eric says, "And the third is: Gunwar in Treasures of a Slaver's Kingdom, by S. John Ross"
Emily says, "hooray for piratical dwarf"
duesen exclaims, "ah!"
DavidW says, "yay NPC in a game I haven't played!"
McMartin exclaims, "Yarr!"
VictorGijsbers plays the gnomish song backwards, revealing a chain gang chant.
Merk exclaims, "Yay Gunwar!"
Jacqueline says, "What DavidW said! Hooray!"
Emerald claps apologetically for the NPC in the game she hasn't played.
Eric says, "And the winner is..."
(From Taleslinger) Eric Eve has disconnected.
duesen says, "hmm"
Eric exclaims, "The gnome in Lost Pig!"
Jacqueline says, "WOOT!"
DavidW says, "woot!"
Emily says, "woo!"
yandexx exclaims, "I knew it!"
Merk exclaims, "Go gnome! Go gnome! It's your birthday!"
McMartin exclaims, "Yay Gnome!"
Baryon exclaims, "Hoorah!"
Taleslinger says, "YAY"
Eric exclaims, "Congatulations, Admiral Jota!"
duesen says, "pig rocks"
VictorGijsbers starts playing forward again, at increased speed.
Jota steps up.
Nitku cheers in gnomish
Emerald says, "yay gnome!"
Merk claps for Jota again.
Miseri says, "gnome gnome gnome"
djfletch exclaims, "gnome best alive thing in game that not playing game!!"
Jota says, "Our gnomish friend has also declined to be present at the ceremony, as he wasn't comfortable receiving this much attention in person."
Jota says, "But he asked me to report that his current research has been going very well."
Emily says, "aw"
Eric tries to step down off the stage, but trips and falls straight onto Victor's barrel-organ.
Jacqueline says, "Hooray research."
Jota says, "He says that almost all of his test subjects' hair has grown back already, and only one of them has lost his sense of smell."
Fang arrives from the west.
duesen pulls Eric's tail
Jota says, "It's difficult to say when we'll meet up with him again, but I do hope it'll happen some day."
VictorGijsbers exclaims, "Watch out, you'll break my kettle drums!"
Emerald says, "cheers for the broken barrel-organ"
Jota exclaims, "So from both him and myself, thanks!"
Taleslinger Helps eric down.
Eric slaps duesen with his tail.
Jota steps back down.
lpsmith steps back to the stage, clapping.
duesen blushes violently
lpsmith exclaims, "Thanks again, Jota!"