On March 9th, 2008, at 4:00 P.M. EDT, the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, not including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you wish to see those comments, a version with those comments is also available.
VictorGijsbers gets on the stage.
olethros claps once more.
VictorGijsbers exclaims, "It's my great honour to present to you the XYZZY Award 2007 for best Individual Player Character. We've got a fascinating cast of nominees this year, and I want some big applause for them all as they join me on the stage!"
VictorGijsbers says, "Our first nominee is a hard-working man with vital duties that he scrupulously attends to. He always wears black, listens to Elton John, and almost never forgets Horse's birthday. Put your hands together for..."
VictorGijsbers exclaims, "... Mr. Death, as presented in A Fine Day for Reaping by James Webb aka "revgiblet"!"
Emily says, "woo!"
DavidW says, "WOO"
olethros says, "hoot!"
Merk says, "Yay, AFDFR"
Taleslinger says, "Yay man with unpronouncable handle!"
Jacqueline says, "Hooray!"
Sargent says, "Woo"
Emerald cheers - inappropriately, perhaps
VictorGijsbers says, "Unfortunately Mr. Death had to work overtime today due to 'administrative errors', so he won't be able to join us in person. He'll be following the proceedings in spirit, I do not doubt."
VictorGijsbers says, "Our second nominee is again hard-working and dutiful, though in his case 'man' might not be the right word. He may not be beautiful and he may not be smart, but he's a real nice guy--let's have some applause for..."
VictorGijsbers exclaims, "... Grunk, seen in Lost Pig by Admiral Jota (as "Grunk")!"
Sargent says, "Yay"
Jacqueline says, "Woot!"
Taleslinger says, "WOOT!"
Merk exclaims, "Good luck, Grunk!"
DavidW says, "yay Grunk!"
McMartin exclaims, "Yay!"
Miseri says, "Yay Grunk"
lpsmith exclaims, "Woo Grunk!"
Emerald says, "go Grunk!"
djfletch clap hand
yandexx exclaims, "Go go go Grunk!"
McMartin again hit hand with other hand
VictorGijsbers says, "My aides tell me that they're not sure whether Grunk will be joining us for this ceremony. Apparently there was a nasty accident involving Mr. Grunk's pants and a barbecue."
Guenni pushes button on applaudinator
Emily says, "doh"
DavidW says, "ha ha"
Celestianpower says, "Woo. Hoo"
McMartin says, "Yay pants"
VictorGijsbers says, "Our third nominee is a rather minimal man--brought back to his bare essentials. Here is someone who can say that he is all eyes and ears, and only be half-lying. Let's hear it for..."
Jacqueline says, "woops"
Jacqueline says, "whoops, even."
yandexx says, "PANTS ON FIRE"
VictorGijsbers exclaims, "... the King from The Reluctant Resurrectee, by David Whyld!"
Taleslinger rolls his eye.
DavidW says, "yay!"
olethros says, "yooorrrraah"
Emily says, "woo"
Merk Cheers for the King.
VictorGijsbers says, "The King would have loved to be here, but his trusted adviser judged that the risk of being stepped on accidentally was too great. The King could only come on the condition that I would have the entire audience executed, and I felt I had to turn that offer down."
DavidW says, "hee"
Taleslinger says, "Boo"
VictorGijsbers says, "Our fourth nominee is a self-described freelance reporter living in a future none of us want to share with him. There is some debate as to whether he is half out of his mind or half into it, but that should not stop us from warmly welcoming..."
Gunther says, "chicken"
Merk says (to Victor), "Good thinking."
VictorGijsbers exclaims, "... Erskine Ring from Ferrous Ring, by Carma Ferris!"
Sargent says, "yay"
WeirdBeard arrives from the west.
Merk exclaims, "Good luck, Erskine Ring!"
baf says, "woo"
VictorGijsbers says, "Mr. Ring would have been here on the podium with me if had had a time machine that would have taken him back to the past, he personally assured me. But he hadn't, so he isn't."
VictorGijsbers says, "Our fifth and last nominee is a brave young woman with a deep love for books and a more than passing interest in international diplomacy. Also, she has the cutest cat. Scream your throats raw for..."
VictorGijsbers exclaims, "... Farahnaaz, known from Varkana, by Maryam Gousheh-Forgeot (as "Farahnaaz")!"
Eric claps again
McMartin cheers, gives the kitten a 10
Emily says, "yay!"
Otto says, ":)"
Taleslinger claps again.
DavidW says, "meow meow meow!"
Emerald says, "yay"
lpsmith cheers for all the nominees!
Baryon claps raucously
Merk claps for Farahnaaz
VictorGijsbers says, "Miss Farahnaaz would have been here, had she not feared an attempt on her life by Ashtartan agents and other no-goods. So, Ashtartan agents, you can now reveal yourself."
VictorGijsbers says, "Anyway."
Otto says, ""I thought people would choose the cat instead of her""
VictorGijsbers asks, "the moment you have all been waiting for has arrived... the declaration of the winner. Who is the greatest Player Character of 2007?"
VictorGijsbers says, "It is... (drum rolls please) ..."
Otto says, ""I'm not the Astartan agent, I promise""
VictorGijsbers exclaims, "... Grunk, from Lost Pig by Admiral Jota. Congratulations to Grunk, our favourite orc!"
Sargent says, "Yay Grunk!"
DavidW says, "Grunk!"
Merk exclaims, "Woooo Grunk!"
Miseri knew it!
McMartin exclaims, "yay!"
olethros says, "yay!"
yandexx exclaims, "YAY!"
Emerald says, "hooray for Grunk!"
lpsmith exclaims, "Woo-hoo!"
Taleslinger catches pig.
Merk claps for Jota.
Celestianpower exclaims, "Hooray for Grunk!"
Jota climbs the steps to the stage.
Emily says, "wooo!"
Storme says, "yay!"
lpsmith hands Jota the microphone.
Taleslinger throws pig at Jota.
yandexx exclaims, "Hooray Jota!"
Gunther says, "congrats!"
Jacqueline says, "Hooray for Mr. Grunk and Admiral Jota!"
Jota says, "Thank you! Grunk wanted to be here to accept this award himself today, but unfortunately, he had a prior appointment."
Jacqueline says, "Aw."
Jacqueline says, "He's not trapped anywhere, I hope."
Jota says, "It turns out that he's presently busy negotiating the contract for his next big project."
olethros says, "man"
Jacqueline says, "WOO"
Taleslinger says, "yay!"
Jota says, "Personally, I don't expect it to actually go anywhere... but the next time you see a commercial for all-pork sausages, listen carefully to the voice-over."
Emily says, "ha ha ha ha ha"
Jacqueline says, "Oh dear."
Taleslinger says, "Poor pig."
<Fang> Kiss thy entropy goodbye!
Jota says, "However that works out, I'll pass this on to him, and I'm certain that he'll be very pleased."
yandexx cries for pig
Jota exclaims, "So from both him and myself, thanks!"
Guest1 goes home.
</Guest1> Well THAT was certainly... interesting.
Jota hands back the microphone.
<Guest1> Who is this squarish, laconic new inmate, the fish ask themselves.
VictorGijsbers scrambles back down in order to play the barrel organ.
Taleslinger looks at barrel organ.