On March 12th, 2005, at 4:00 P.M. EST (10:00 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, not including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you wish to see those comments, a version with those comments is also available.

 

lpsmith returns to the stage.
Trumgottist walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
lpsmith says, "Well, if robgrassi unidles at some point, he can make a speech."
lpsmith says, "But next! The show must go on, with inky presenting the nominees and winner for Best NPCs."
ChainGangGuy claps!
Fang goes home.
inky climbs up on stage again.
inky says, "ok, this one I am going to present"
Allen says, "you never climbed off the stage"
Rob claps.
maga exclaims, "yay inky!"
jmac says, "inkay"
olethros exclaims, "Go, inky!"
DrewMochak stomps.
inky says (to Allen), "I snuck off while you were all cheering for Sara"
inky says, "anyway, the Best NPCs award is a very important one in IF"
Lee exclaims, "go inky!"
ant arrives from the west.
inky says, "a good NPC is like a microcosm of what makes a good game -- it requires bringing writing, puzzle, and plot together to make a whole greater than the sum of its parts"
inky says, "the games nominated for Best NPC have to do this not once but multiple times -- sometimes they're nominated mostly for having a single major NPC, but even then the supporting cast must be there to back that NPC up"
inky says, "the nominees for Best NPC are:"
inky says, "Agrath, from All Hope Abandon (by Eric Eve)"
sdee claps
inky says, "er, whoops"
Lee claps
inky says, "right game, wrong listing"
inky says, "All Hope Abandon, by Eric Eve"
Jacqueline applauds.
inky says, "there we go"
Rob claps
Norah claps
sdee claps again
Lee claps again
ChainGangGuy claps
lpsmith chuckles, claps.
inky says (to Bernie), "I guess I'm not the only one with mixed-up paperwork"
Recchi claps!
Merk says, "Wooo AHA"
inky says, "Bolivia By Night, by Aidan Doyle"
Merk says, "Wooo BBN"
klimas says, "yay"
HairBrain says, "BOLIVIA!"
Eric claps.
Emily claps
sdee applauds
Norah claps
Guest1 exclaims, "yay bolivia!!!"
inky says, "Flat Feet, by Joel Ray Holveck"
Recchi applauds
Rob claps
Lee claps
wojohz says, "yay Doyle"
Rob stomps
Eric claps.
sdee claps
Jacqueline applauds.
olethros claps.
inky says, "Gilded, by John Evans (as A Hazard)"
wojohz exclaims, "yay Sam and Max!"
Norah claps
Rob gilds
Lee cheers
Jacqueline applauds.
sdee claps
olethros says, "hooray again"
wojohz says, "woo"
Eric claps
inky says, "(possibly the only game besides Plundered Hearts which allows you to dance with all the NPCs)"
inky says, "and Vespers, by Jason Devlin"
lpsmith says, "Yay"
Jacqueline applauds.
sdee cheers
olethros says, "hooray"
maga says, "yay"
Lee applauds
Norah claps
ant claps
Bishop exclaims, "Yay monks!"
Eric claps loudly.
inky says, "and the winner is ...."
Guest1 exclaims, "VESPERS!!!"
Rob vesps
inky says, "Vespers, by Jason Devlin!"
maga exclaims, "Yay Vespers!"
sdee exclaims, "yay!"
Rob claps
GaylaW applauds.
Bishop applauds wildly!
Norah says, "Yay"
jmac cheers!
olethros says, "Hooray!@"
Thrax exclaims, "yay, a game I've actually played!"
Jacqueline claps wildly.
Emily says, "woo"
inky gives Best NPCs 2005 XYZZY to JasonD.
ant applauds enthusiastically
zarf claps
Eric applauds enthusiastically.
wojohz says, "yay Guest1's lucky guess"
Rob applauds for creepy diseased NPCs
klimas says, "woo!"
ErWenn applauds.
olethros exclaims, "Excellent!"
inky sneaks off the stage again.
ant applauds for creepy demonic NPCs
olethros asks (of rob), "you mean grittily realistic NPCs?"
Merk exclaims (at Jasond), "Congrats!!!"
koblin applauds.
wojohz says, "speech"
Guest1 says, "guest1 is all-knowing..."
lpsmith cheers.
Norah keeps clapping
JasonD says, "Wow! Who knew assigning different names to was essentially the same NPC four times would pay off :)"
DrewMochak ph34rs Guest1.
olethros says, "haha"
Jacqueline laughs.
Guest1 laughs.
revenant goes home.
Norah says, "Oh yeah, good point lol"
JasonD exclaims, "Thanks guys!"
koblin laughs.
Lee chuckles
jmac says, "well done"
wojohz says, "hee"
robgrassi says, "ohhh"
inky says, "the Vespers NPCs are all crazy in their own way"
eileen applauds madly
robgrassi says, "my son is sleeping"
robgrassi says, "at last"
sdee exclaims, "nice job, jason!"
Norah says, "SPEECH"
robgrassi asks, "where we are?"
olethros says, "everyone knows monks are essentially indistiguishable because of the strange bald patch"
inky asks (of robgrassi), "would you like to make a belated speech about winning best individual puzzle?"
Guest1 says, "tell robgrassi you missed your award"
maga says (to olethros), "and the buboes"
ChainGangGuy claps for monks
wojohz says, "lpsmith won"
olethros says (to maga), "ew"
JasonD says, "Go for it Rob! You earned it"
Miseri arrives from the west.
robgrassi says, "my gid"
Merk says, "My little girl is asleep too, for the moment."
wojohz says, "for 15 minutes"
robgrassi asks, "i've won a prize?"
Rob says (to robgrassi), "you won best puzzle!"
Rob says, "check your inventory!"
lpsmith says (to rob), "Yes! Congrats."
robgrassi says, "great! :D"
zarf says, "Good speech, that."
Lee cheers robgrassi
DrewMochak says, ""Welcome back! By the way, you won an award!""
robgrassi says, "eer...."
koblin cheers.
robgrassi says, "so, i'm not good at speeches"
ChainGangGuy says, "Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy..."
robgrassi says, "the puzzle has been inspired by John Dicson Carr books"
Merk exclaims (at robgrassi), "Excellent game, by the way!!"
robgrassi says, "i wanted to make a closed chamber puzzle"
Guest1 says, "loved the giallo stuff"
robgrassi says, "and then we let the player 'play' the murder again"
robgrassi says, "in different ways, from different points of view"
olethros says, "sounds like an excellent idea"
ChainGangGuy says, "yay ideas"
robgrassi says, "and that's all"
Norah claps
sdee claps
olethros claps.
zarf applauds
lpsmith cheers, and returns to the stage.
inky says, "hooray"
wojohz applauds discorso
Jota claps.
Rob claps
robgrassi says, "I can't scream otherwise my son get awaken"
inky says, "ha ha"
eileen claps happily
olethros says, "hee"
jmac laffs
robgrassi says, "and i could miss the best story prize"
robgrassi says, "... ;)"
lpsmith says, "So, after seeing the winners of the NPC awards, some of you may be wondering if you can get NPCs this good for your own games. Well, the stable of good NPC actors, actresses and other beings is small but solid. Here tonight, we present you with behind-the-scenes looks at the folks that brought you some of the XYZZY's greatest roles."
olethros looks up in wonder.
inky pushes a button on his remote, and a screen drops down to reveal a picture of Boldo, from Lock & Key
inky says, "After his stint on Lock & Key, Boldo had a spot in a short-lived made-for-CYOA remake of Enchanter, as the Adventurer, and then his career took something of a downturn after an unwise role in Adoo's Stinky Story."
Guest3 goes home.
inky says, "Still, he landed a plum role in Sting of the Wasp as the tennis instructor, and I believe he's in negotiations with Paul Allen Panks for a spot in Ninja III, so we can look forward to seeing a lot more of Boldo in the future!"
klimas says, "ha"
Norah claps
maga says, "hee hee hee"
olethros says, "Haha"
Emily says, "ha"
Jacqueline says, "YAY"
Bishop exclaims, "Ha!"
Guest1 laughs.
DrewMochak laughs.
Recchi laughs
wojohz says, "mo boldo"
jmac gah
maga says, "inky wins"
lpsmith says, "After many years of appearing in small roles, from Trillian in 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' to the Clapper in 'The Frenetic Five', she finally achieved stardom in 1999 as Miss Sierra in 'Varicella'. That proved to be the push she needed to make the crossover into graphical adventures, and she's appeared as several Bond Girls in Electronic Arts' 007 games, and most recently signed up with Tim Schafer to be Secret Agent Milla Vodello in 'Psychonauts'."
olethros asks, "several bond girls at the same time?"
wojohz says, "heh"
Merk says, "Wooo Psychonauts."
Emily says (to olethros), "that's real diversity for you"
inky says (to olethros), "that's the advantage of it being done on the computer"
lpsmith says, "The wonders of modern technology."
olethros says, "M<mm"
inky says, "We got in touch with Triage to see what it was up to these days now that Slouching Towards Bedlam is over, and it sent back the following message:"
inky | CAT:RESPONSE.RE.CUR
inky | RENT.OCCUPATION....
inky | UTIL:FILL.TIME.BETW
inky | EEN.AWARDS.PART:FIR
inky | ST.GIG.ENIGMA.MACHI
inky | NE.JIGSAW.MOST.RECE
inky | NTLY.APPEARED.IN...
inky | ALL.THINGS.DEVOURS.
inky | AS.TIME.MACHINE....
Emily says, "ha ha ha ha"
klimas says, "ha ha"
zarf says, "yay"
Bishop says, "Hee hee."
olethros says, "yay"
Jacqueline giggles.
Recchi says, "^____^"
robgrassi says, "heheheh"
JasonD exclaims, "That was awesome!"
zarf says, "*double* yay."
jmac says, "who knew."
Rob claps
lpsmith says, "And, finally: Graham Nelson first discovered this aspiring young demon in 1994, pressing him into service as a hint-giver (of sorts) in 'Curses'. Wary of being type-cast as a glorified invisiclue system, he sought out Andrew Pontious in 1996, and begged to play a role in the developing 'Small World'. His bet paid off, and he won 'Best Individual NPC' that year as the devil in that game. His shape-changing abilities make him a great character actor, and he's appeared as some form of supernatural force in such games as Madame L'Estrange, John's Fire Witch, Nevermore, All Hope Abandon, and Gamlet. But you'd be hard-pressed to recognize him in his role in this year's 'Vespers', where he played... well, that would be telling."
jmac would be worried about getting typecast
Emily says, "ha"
Rob claps
olethros says, "haha"
wojohz yays
olethros says, "that was excellent character acting indeed"
Norah claps
inky says, "hooray"