On March 20th, 2005, at 4:00 P.M. EST (9:00 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, not including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you wish to see those comments, a version with those comments is also available.

 

lpsmith exclaims, "And finally, here with the information you need to look erudite at the water cooler tomorrow: Eileen Mullin, with the award for Best Game!"
Jacqueline says, "snrk"
JoshuaH claps.
Rob claps
Ghogg says, "woo woo"
eileen approaches the stage slowly wheeling a stroller. Shhh, baby Ellis is sleeping!
Jacqueline claps for Eileen.
BrenBarn says, "woop eileen"
DavidW drops a drumroll. oops.
inky claps quietly
klimas claps!
Rob claps quietly
Paul mimes a cheer
Rob whisper-cheers
eileen stops. Uh oh, no such luck -- Ellis is wide awake.
Gunther claps loudly
lpsmith cheers baby names starting with "Ell"
Paul cheers extra-loudly!
Thrax peekaboos
eileen looks accusingly at the audience.
Rob says, "doh"
Thrax looks sheepish
Tommy sings a raucous lullaby.
jon goes home.
</jon> jon has disconnected from ifMUD.
eileen shrugs and extracts baby Ellis
(From Thrax) Baby cries!
eileen stops to let the paparazzi admire the baby's designer onesie and booties
Gunther pushes blender on stage.
Rob says, "kitchie coo"
lpsmith ensures that no blenders are left in the auditorium.
Trumgottist joins Tommy in the singing.
Thrax exclaims (at Ellis), "shake your booties!"
eileen says, "OK! The nominees for the XYZZY Award for Best Game are..."
eileen says, "Blue Chairs, by Chris Klimas"
DavidW claps
JoshuaH applauds.
Jacqueline applauds.
rrafgon cheers
Tommy claps
eileen says, "Future Boy!, by Kent Tessman"
Bishop claps.
Tommy claps
klimas applauds.
DavidW applauds
maga says, "woo again"
Gunther says, "FB!!"
Rob applauds
eileen says, "Necrotic Drift, by Robb Sherwin"
Bishop claps.
rrafgon cheers
Gunther says, "ND!!"
Tommy claps
maga exclaims, "yay!"
lpsmith cheers!
Fang chants, "Blue chairs, blue chairs, blue chairs, blue chairs..."
klimas cheers.
Rob says, "hugo, the martin scorsese of the xyzzys"
eileen says, "Return To Ditch Day, by Michael J. Roberts"
Fang says, "oops"
Gunther says, "DD!"
Rob claps for mjr
Bishop claps.
Tommy claps
lpsmith says (to Rob), "Hee"
rrafgon cheers
Jacqueline claps.
BrenBarn says, "hooray"
JoshuaH claps.
Fang cheers.
DavidW claps double time
K-Y stomps
Gunther says (to Rob), "it's a damn shame"
eileen says, "The Dreamhold, by Andrew Plotkin"
ctate says, "Future Chairs"
Gunther says, "DH!"
klimas cheers.
Bishop claps.
Tommy claps lots.
eileen looks at the baby, then looks at the stroller
DavidW cheers
eileen asks, "Now where did I put that envelope?"
Paul cheers for all the Best Game nominees!
Rob claps
Jacqueline claps for everyone.
eileen opens diaper bag and starts searching...
Fang cheers.
inky says, "ha ha ew"
klimas says, "ha ha"
eileen pulls out a box of wipes. Hmm, nope...
Thrax exclaims, "your trophy: a new diaper!"
inky says, "you might need those wipes, hang onto them"
Gunther leaves.
eileen extracts a spare Whoozit toy. Nope, not there...
ctate says, "yay Whoozit"
eileen pulls out a half-empty bottle of champagne
Rob says, "baby's been nursing on that"
BrenBarn says, "ha ha"
DavidW says, "uh oh"
eileen says, "Well, you see, at the last XYZZY Awards I was pregnant... I haven't been able to celebrate in style for awhile..."
(From Gunther) eileen pulls dead fish from cleavage.
eileen hiccups
eileen finally finds the envelope and tears it open
eileen frowns
eileen exclaims, "This is the doctor's note I got so that Ellis can join that baby swimming class!"
ctate asks, "the pediatrician's bill won the Best Game award?"
inky says, "ha ha ha"
eileen exclaims, "I must have turned in the award winner's info at the Y!"
Rob claps
Rob says, "ha ha"
Thrax exclaims, "doctor speech!"
BrenBarn says, "the winner is You Have Been Selected For Membership in the National Geographic Society!"
Kwi laughs.
Paul Hee
eileen says, "Good thing I have a backup..."
Thrax exclaims, "and now they're all sitting in blue chairs at the Y!"
Trumgottist cheers merrily.
Ghogg says, "You May Have Already Won A Million Dollars"
eileen pulls crib sheet out of baby stroller
Bishop says (to BrenBarn), "I loved that game. The credit-card info puzzle was great."
eileen squints to read writing on sheet
eileen says, "Good thing I don't do the laundry so often anymore"
Thrax exclaims, "the winner is lint!"
eileen says, "The winner of the XYZZY Award for Best Game is..."
Jacqueline leans forward.
eileen says, "Blue Chairs, by Chris Klimas"
DavidW listens closely.
half says, "Hooray!"
Rob leaps to his feet and applauds and cheers!
Bishop applauds wildly.
Trumgottist exclaims, "Yay blue toilets!"
rrafgon applauds wildly.
Fang falls over.
inky says, "wow, hat trick"
Ghogg says, "woo woo"
JoshuaH chairs!
Rob says, "whooaaa"
zarf says, "yahoo!"
Jacqueline stands up again!
maga exclaims, "yay!"
reese applauds wildly
klimas says, "wow"
BrenBarn says, "huzzah!"
lpsmith cheers!
K-Y claps a lot
DavidW applauds!
eileen waves klimas back on up
two-star exclaims, "Yay!!"
Tommy cheers.
Jota applauds.
Gunther applauds some more.
Marvin exclaims, "Yay!"
Paul exclaims, "Whoa! Sudden Blue Chairs surge!"
Kwi applauds wildly.
Jacqueline applauds.
JoshuaH cheers, even!
Rob says, "wow, zap"
ctate says, "awooga awooga"
Fang gets up and delivers a standing ovation.
Bishop exclaims, "Congrats!"
Ferret exclaims, "Yay Dundalk!"
Recchi applauds!
eileen gives Best Game 2004 XYZZY to klimas.
Thrax says (to Paul), "TMI"
DavidW says, "Chairs for everybody!"
Paul exclaims, "Hooray Chris!"
klimas says, "Wow, indeed."
Rob says, "stop hoggin' all them xyzzys"
Fang gives klimas a cruel pat on the back.
Thrax says, "yay chairs"
maga exclaims, "yay!"
eileen puts Ellis back in stroller and strolls offstage
klimas says, "It's cool to be back -- you guys are awesome."
Rob claps
cendare gets the clap -- no, wait, that's not right...
Thrax exclaims (at klimas), "recipes! recipes!"
klimas says, "Here's hoping next year it's Rybread taking home this prize."
klimas sits down.
BrenBarn says, "ha ha"
Kwi laughs.
BrenBarn says, "yay"
Rob claps for all winners.
Rob claps for all nominees, too.
Trumgottist claps a lot.
BrenBarn claps for all games!
zarf applauds
BrenBarn claps for all of humanity!
klimas claps for everybody.
lpsmith exclaims, "Thank you all for coming! And let's give one more round of applause to this year's nominees and winners!"
maga claps furiously
JoshuaH applauds.
Fang claps for non-nominees, nominees, and winners.
Jaybird yay
Rob asks (of BrenBarn), "what, even the bad guys and vermin?"
Trumgottist claps even more.
Tommy applauds.
reese claps and claps
rrafgon claps and claps and claps
K-Y claps on
Kwi applauds and cheers.
Paul claps as the credits roll.
Marvin claps and stuff.
two-star claps for all those who cannot clap!
BrenBarn says (to Rob), "yes, just this once"
eileen exclaims, "Thank you everyone for coming today too!!"
Rob says, "oh ok"
Thrax says, "yay all nominees"
inky says, "yeah, specifically, thanks to Star Foster, Daniel Ravipinto, Jon Ingold, and Rob Wheeler for presenting"
Jacqueline says, "Thanks, Eileen."
Rob says (to eileen), "thanks eileen!"
Fang applauds.
Thrax says, "I have no hands and I must clap"
inky says, "and to Lucian Smith and David Welbourn for both organizing and presenting"
eileen exclaims, "Thank you and you!!"
Fang hoots.
Rob says, "thanks to me! yeah! me, baby!!"
Trumgottist produces a trumpet and plays a fanfare for all the winners!
baf cheers generally
half claps for the presenters.
Gunther gives fake_hands to Thrax
klimas says, "yay everbody!"
lpsmith says, "If you'd like to stay for some post-ceremony discussion, go west, north, and up. I think. It's the Carousel Bar and Grill, at any rate."
inky says, "and to Eileen for the website and everything else"
Gunther leaves the auditorium to the west.
Thrax says (to Gunther,), "hey, fake_Jon_Ingold needs those"
Bishop leaves the auditorium to the west.
Rob leaves the auditorium to the west.
maga says, "yay MCs"
baf leaves the auditorium to the west.
lpsmith exclaims, "Thank you all, and good night/evening/morning!"