On March 12th, 2006, at 5:00 P.M. EST (11:00 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you not wish to see those comments, an expurgated version is also available.

 

lpsmith says, "Next, we have the nominees for 'Best Story'."
[peanut-gallery] djfletch says, "the mortality rate is higher among alpha tasters"
Eluchil claps
lpsmith says, "Sometimes, people claim that anything interactive necessarily loses the story. Once again, we have five nominees that attempt to prove that wrong. The nominees for this year's 'Best Story' are:"
GregB leaves the auditorium to the west.
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "how true"
lpsmith says, "Moon-Shaped, by Jason Ermer"
Baryon cheers
Emerald claps.
Ben cheers
Kelby exclaims, "Moon! love it!"
Eluchil claps in a cresent
DavidW applauds
McMartin claps for Moon-Shaped
inky claps
lpsmith says, "Pantomime, by Robb Sherwin"
Ben cheers
Eluchil claps
McMartin claps without sound
Kelby claps.
Emily says, "yay"
Emerald claps.
lpsmith says, "The Baron (a.k.a. De Baron), by Victor Gijsbers"
kate claps with one hand
djfletch claps
Gunther says, "oo"
aaronius cheers
Ben cheers
Emerald applauds.
Eluchil claps
McMartin says, "hooray"
VictorGijsbers jumps to the roof of the autditorium.
Kelby claps for the games that he hasn't played.
lpsmith says, "The Elysium Enigma, by Eric Eve"
DarkStar claps
Emerald claps.
Kelby applauds.
Eluchil clpas
Ben cheers
kate claps and woots!
Eluchil claps
McMartin claps
DarkStar claps again
lpsmith says, "And once again, "The Traveling Swordsman", by Mike Snyder"
djfletch keeps on clapping
Kelby claps.
Eluchil claps
Ben cheers.
VictorGijsbers falls down hard as we return to earth.
McMartin cheers
Emerald says, "Go game with flying barge!"
Baryon claps enormously
K-Y's logic, while interesting, is flawed.
a_magical_me cheers for the nominees
kate claps
JDC waves, since the Swordsman can't hear clapping.
lpsmith says, "And the winner is... Well, let me tell you a story."
lpsmith says, "Once upon a time..."
lpsmith says, "...string beans..."
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "ha ha"
lpsmith exclaims, "..."The Traveling Swordsman, by Mike Snyder!"
inky says, "hooray!"
aaronius claps
Emily says, "YAY"
Recchi says, "Oh cool"
eileen applauds and applauds
kate cheers!
DavidW says, "yay!"
nm claps claps
McMartin Hooray!
Emerald says, "YAY!"
Ben cheers!
Newington cheers!
olethros says, "hooray"
Kelby cheers.
Emerald says, "Go Swordsman!"
DavidW says, "Cheer louder!"
Baryon applauds!
djfletch claps some more.
cendare claps.
Flit claps !
Newington makes the sign for "cheers"
McMartin cheers and gesticulates wildly
Eluchil claps
Emerald waves her Go Swordsman banner
a_magical_me claps
Gunther says, "yay string beans!"
Baryon is ecstatic
Recchi says, "\m/ Mike! \m/"
DavidW fingersnaps
Ben emits a spontaneous warcry.
RootShell_ifreviews says, "congrats Mike"
lpsmith says, "I believe Mike is not with us today, but we'll be sure to let him know."
inky says, "whoah!"
inky says, "that guy has timing"
McMartin says, "We have impressive MEINDPOWERZ, I do believe"
lpsmith exclaims, "Well then!"
McMartin says, "Or he does"
DavidW summons Merk
lpsmith hollers, "Hey, get in here!"
Baryon cheers for Merk
olethros stomps his foot.
olethros says, "(or feet)"
Merk walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
Emerald forms a guard of honour for Mike
olethros says, "weeeee"
lpsmith exclaims (at Merk), "You just won 'Best Story'!"
DavidW says, "hooray!"
Ben exclaims, "Congratulations!"
McMartin reapplauds
lpsmith gives Best Story 2006 XYZZY to Merk.
Merk exclaims, "Wow!"
Merk exclaims, "Thanks!!!"
Baryon applauds
kate applauds
JDC re-waves.
DarkStar claps
DavidW says, "Just now too. Good timing!"
Emerald cheers wildly
eileen exclaims, "What timing!"
RootShell_ifreviews says, "to merk, congrats"
Rob applauds
Merk exclaims, "And to think, I nearly slept through it!!"
Kelby exclaims, "Amazing!"
Rob gives Best Timing award to Merk
inky says, "the best story being how he managed to come in here just at the right time"
Eluchil claps again
inky says, "hee hee"
Merk exclaims, "That's so cool! Thanks to all who voted for me!!"
RootShell_ifreviews says, "Hellooooo Eileen didn't see you there :) ehehehehe"
Merk says (to inky), "ironic *and* true! :)"
Emerald climbs back into a chair with an easy grace testifying to long practice on Aleheart
inky says (to Emerald), "ha ha"
lpsmith says, "OK! We have another letter."
Emerald says, "I've been trying to think of the right way to phrase that joke all through the ceremony"
lpsmith says, "S.G. from Huntsville writes, "My 10-year anniversary is coming up. What should I do for my wife?""
kate ponders.
Stiffy_Makane exclaims, "Ooooh! Oooh!"
DavidW says, "noooooo"
Recchi exclaims, "ha ha ha!"
lpsmith pushes a button on the podium. A trap door opens up under Mr. Makane.
Emily says, "ha ha doh"
Stiffy_Makane exclaims, "Aaaaaaaaah!"
Merk says, "I'll have to get the rest out of somebody's transcript later. :)"
Ben approves.
lpsmith says, "Sorry about that."
[peanut-gallery] JDC says, "I get it now."
Mover005 trundles out onstage.
Mover005 | W1fe => Person.
Mover005 | Person.isSubClass(C0nsuuuuumer).
Mover005 | {C0nsumer des1111r3s Product.}
Mover005 | CONCLUSION: Product.obtain()
Mover005 trundles offstage again.
HairBrain says, "so baaad"
DavidW says, "But so gooood"
HairBrain says, "I mean b44444d"
KissingBandit suddenly drops from a rope onto the stage!!
McMartin makes a note to try to get somewhere in that game
KissingBandit exclaims, "My metallic friend, you have no poetry in your soul! Women desire mystery! Adventure! Romance! A man with springs in his boots!"
Gunther says, "uh oh!!"
KissingBandit says, "Give her a single red rose .. and a ticket to Kissimmee, Florida, if you follow my meaning."
KissingBandit wiggles his moustache.
DavidW says, "hee hee"
RootShell_ifreviews says, "WOW this is better that watching Last Action Hero :)"
Eluchil laughs loudly
KissingBandit says, "Now, if you will excuse me, I must seek out a certain Englishwoman ..."
KissingBandit activates his boots and flies off-stage again.
[peanut-gallery] Merk asks, ""Zarf's not here?"
DavidW asks, "who was that masked bandit?"
Rob says, "impostor!"
Rob says, "although a good one"
Dave disappears through an invisible gap in the MUD. You think you may have heard the sounds of chatting before the gap closed again.
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says, "He had to take off just before the opening"
inky says (to DavidW), "I don't know, but you wouldn't believe what he left me"
Rob says, "his moustaches were not the least bit frightening"
[peanut-gallery] Allen says, "he had some other thing going on tonight"
DavidW says (to inky), "Tell me later."
[peanut-gallery] Allen says, "something with his cooler friends, us not being good enough for him"
[peanut-gallery] * kate has joined the channel.
[peanut-gallery] Merk exclaims, "Ah. I was looking at the real-time updates on IFWiki (thanks David, or whoever's doing that), and see that he's cleaning up!"