On March 12th, 2006, at 5:00 P.M. EST (11:00 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you not wish to see those comments, an expurgated version is also available.

 

Massive Auditorium
Sleek titanium walls, etched with IF-related designs, form the boundaries of the auditorium. A platform hovers in the center of the room, above which laser lights sketch out the words "2006 XYZZY AWARDS". Velvet-lined seats drift in midair, allowing their occupants to have the best possible view at all times.

You can see: READ THIS PLEASE, xyzzy drinking game, a chalkboard listing the XYZZY Award winners
Visible Exits: west
lpsmith materializes.
[peanut-gallery] DavidW says, "I think Bronze is only the third speed-if game to ever get a Xyzzy nomination."
[peanut-gallery] Rob asks, "that was a speed-if?"
[peanut-gallery] DavidW says, "Originally"
[peanut-gallery] * a_magical_me has joined the channel.
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "not in its I7 release form surely"
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says, "The one people voted on was the fleshed out version, I believe."
[peanut-gallery] VictorGijsbers says, "But it is the final version that is judged here."
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "I bet it was the usual Emily thing of speed-iffing it up, then polishing it for what she felt was entirely too long"
[peanut-gallery] DavidW says, "It was in I7 all along. Had much less rooms and plot and stuff, and not the fancier help, but it had the compass rose and basic gist."
[peanut-gallery] * Emerald has joined the channel.
[peanut-gallery] DavidW says, "I'm sure it was the larger version that people played and voted on."
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "I guess ascii and the argonauts was a speed-if, and got nominated in the same category"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "and WON! haharr"
[peanut-gallery] DavidW says, "hee"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "once again everyone whose back we talked behind on here has joined, leaving us no way out than to hide on #gross-stories-nobody-wants-to-hear"
dfan hollers, "HELP I CANT GET PAST THE TROLL"
inky hollers, "did you try using the elvish sword?"
Adam hollers, "Stop reading r*if"
Grocible hollers, "PLONK"
inky arrives from the west.
Rob arrives from the west.
Celestianpower arrives from the west.
Newington arrives from the west.
schep arrives from the west.
Ben arrives from the west.
K-Y arrives from the west.
lambda arrives from the west.
Jaybird arrives from the west.
McMartin arrives from the west.
Rob rushes to a seat.
dfan arrives from the west.
Flit arrives from the west.
Emerald arrives from the west.
Baryon arrives from the west.
djfletch arrives from the west.
JDC arrives from the west.
Allen arrives from the west.
Gunther arrives from the west.
VictorGijsbers arrives from the west.
dfan hollers, "THANKS INKY"
Guest1 arrives from the west.
aaronius arrives from the west.
DavidW arrives from the west.
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says, "zomg (h)ax"
nm arrives from the west.
Kelby arrives from the west.
Rob is bald and fat and laughing in the front row, like Jack Nicholson.
Recchi arrives from the west.
a_magical_me arrives from the west.
eileen arrives from the west.
Kelby says, "Hey, everybody."
Rob says, "hello"
schep jumps and fails to catch a passing velvet seat.
Rob says, "HI EILEEN"
DarkStar arrives from the west.
[peanut-gallery] * Baryon has joined the channel.
DavidW says, "yes, hi Eileen."
Kelby takes a seat on one of the velvet chairs towards the front of the auditorium.
McMartin takes an inconspucuous seat in the fifth row.
eileen exclaims, "Hi everybody! It is so great to see you!"
jscott arrives from the west.
[peanut-gallery] * jscott has joined the channel.
VictorGijsbers takes a seat somewhere at the back.
Rob gets up to go to the bathroom. A tuxedoed seat-filler takes his place.
schep manages to land on another seat, and floats off to a dark corner to lurk.
a_magical_me arrives from the east
[peanut-gallery] djfletch says, "I am a newbie testing if I can talk on a channel."
[peanut-gallery] * Kelby has joined the channel.
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "you are succeeding"
[peanut-gallery] McMartin says, "Victory is yours"
Ben sits down.
[peanut-gallery] Newington says, "Good..."
jermer arrives from the west.
[peanut-gallery] Newington says, "idea"
Guest2 materializes.
Emily walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice her approaching it from the other side.
[peanut-gallery] djfletch says, "hurrah"
[peanut-gallery] zarf says, "and now, sadly, I must bail for the evening. Good luck to everybody, particularly me"
Celestianpower takes a seat next to Baryon
Baryon says, "Helo"
Guest1 asks, "Is it alright if I smoke?"
[peanut-gallery] DavidW says, "aw. bye, zarf"
Rob returns to his seat. The seat-filler wanders off, looking sad and out of place.
a_magical_me says, "Not really"
DavidW says (to Guest), "use the garden"
Guest2 says, "sit"
Grocible arrives from the west.
Baryon says (to Celestianpower), "I know"
Jota arrives from the west.
Jota says, "Oh, hey, it's open."
Guest2 says, "I almost missed this"
Kelby exclaims, "i'm so excited! THis is the first time I've ever been to this ceremony! Woohoo!"
Jota says, "Man, look at all those empty seats."
Grocible says, "eileen: LTNS"
Kelby asks, "Is Zarf not here?"
Guest2 says, "I would have if I hadn't casually looked at the IFwiki front page"
Newington says (to Kelby), "He just had to leave"
inky says, "zarf had an engagement elsewhere, sounds like"
DavidW says, "Zarf had to go."
Kelby says, "Awww."
DavidW says, "But he wishes everyone, including himself, luck."
Guest2 asks, "is he nominated?"
lambda juggles flaming torches.
Jota says, "Zarf is permanently nominated. It's in the charter."
Newington says, "Delightful Wallpaper is up for a few"
VictorGijsbers says, "Yes, with Delightful Wallpaper."
Kelby takes out an ancient Spanish dubloon, flipping it across the backs of his hands to while away the time.
[peanut-gallery] Allen says, "dang, it's too bad Howard didn't put out any games in 2006."
VictorGijsbers shifts around nervously.
Guest2 claps
eileen exclaims (at Grocible), "Yes, not since last year!"
[peanut-gallery] Emily says, "huh, I thought his business plan involved more constant production than that"
Eluchil walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
Kelby asks, "WHat's the deal with the archway south?"
Roger arrives from the west.
[peanut-gallery] Allen says, "he keeps putting off the release of his two current games."
[peanut-gallery] olethros asks, "hey, so many newcomers, what could the reason be?"
Guest2 says, "so, are the XYZZY"
inky says (to Kelby), "it's magic"
lambda throws a flaming torch high in the air, and catches it with a flourish.
Rob drops InflatableZarf = It looks like zarf, only maybe a little pudgier. It wobbles back and forth in a lifelike fashion..
[peanut-gallery] Ben says, "Apparently his millions of sales are keeping him steady."
Kelby asks (of inky), "WHat's it for?"
schep says (to Kelby), "the 'xyzzy' exit. It's been temporarily redirected to this room."
[peanut-gallery] olethros says, "(duh, XYZZY)"
Kelby says, "Oh. SO if I did this..."
Kelby goes home.
Newington says (to schep), "Ah, I'd have entered with style if I'd known"
Kelby walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice it approaching it from the other side.
(From lpsmith) The lights dim in the auditorium and the music swells. The ceremony is about to begin!
InflatableZarf = It looks like zarf, only maybe a little pudgier. It wobbles back and forth in a lifelike fashion. vanishes!
[peanut-gallery] nm says (to olethros), "it begins with XY and contains a ZZ"
Roger asks (of Jota), "What, you're dressing as a ninja now?"
DavidW says, "ooh"
lpsmith walks forward and hops up on the stage.
lambda puts out his torches.
DavidW quickly sits down.
Guest2 asks, "so, are the XYZZY Awards the Oscars to the IF comps' Golden Globes?"
Newington looks at Jota.
Rob says, "sigh"
lambda sits down.
Kelby grabs onto another velvet seat, hoisting himself back up into it, and directing it toward the front.
[peanut-gallery] Roger says, "Sorry. It's, erm, a tradition."