On March 2, 2003, at 1:30 P.M. EST (6:30 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, with comments made on the #peanut-gallery discussion. Should you not wish to see those comments, an expurgated version is also available.

inky says, "I am especially pleased to announce our next presenter, as he has often won an award but never yet been here in (virtual) person to receive it"
Gunther says, "ooh!"
[peanut-gallery] Jota says, "Unless authors and testers volunteers to put all the testing transcripts online."
[peanut-gallery] baf asks, "How about 'Best Player', then?"
inky says, "please welcome ..."
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "we"
[peanut-gallery] BrenBarn says, "heh"
fake_Jon_Ingold materializes.
inky says, "oh, whoops"
BrenBarn says, "ha ha"
[peanut-gallery] liza says, "How about Best Sporran"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "we'll just give it to everyone"
Jota says, "Hee."
DavidW says, "hee"
inky gets fake_Jon_Ingold.
Rob says, "boo"
Matthew applauds.
Gunther says, "yay"
maga says, "hee hee hee"
Sargent says, "ha!"
Matthew laughs.
Psmith says, "snrk"
Storme says, "ha"
Jon steps swiftly to the stage with an simple flourish and a cold line across his brow.
Rob claps!
Jimbo claps.
Gunther says, "Ingold!"
inky says, "presenting Best Setting, Jon Ingold"
Sargent applauds.
[peanut-gallery] Duchess says, "all this is not reaching the madness with zarf presenting BAP an award"
DavidW says, "yay Jon!"
BrenBarn says, "whoop"
eileen applauds enthusiastically
BoingBall claps
Storme says, "yay Jon"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "rtrue;"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "yay"
Paul claps for Jon
Iain says (to Jon), "I have some cream that'll clear that right up."
Recchi applauds Jon!
[peanut-gallery] Duchess says, "that is still my best xyzzy moment ever"
Sousa says, "whoo hoo..."
Gunther says (to Iain), "I bet you do"
Iain says, "Er, I mean, yay!"
Photon claps, too.
Trent cheers
Jon taps the mike, having broken the mud
JJGuest says, "BCNU""
Jacqueline says (to Gunther), "Ha."
JJGuest leaves the auditorium to the west.
[peanut-gallery] Matthew asks, "Are all of the XYZZY transcripts online somewhere?"
Jota claps for Jon.
[peanut-gallery] Paul asks (of Duchess), "Better than nm's acceptance speech?"
WilliamDeLosa steps swiftly to the stage with an simple flourish and a cold line across his brow.
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "I believe so"
</JJGuest> JJGuest has disconnected from ifMUD.
[peanut-gallery] Duchess says (to paul), "second"
[peanut-gallery] Sietse says, "Yes."
WilliamDeLosa beckons haughtily to a striking figure in the crowd.
[peanut-gallery] Duchess says (to matthew), "brasslantern has some, neil has others"
FrancescaPaolini steps up to the stage timidly, looking pale and clutching an old-looking book of love poetry
MadMonk exclaims, "Hurrah!"
Rob says, "whoa"
FrancescaPaolini taps the mic and flinches
WilliamDeLosa DeLosa looks around the crowd, as though they were flies waiting for the rain
[peanut-gallery] Duchess says (to paul), "nm's speech was second"
Iain says, "This cold line thing is contagious!"
Matthew claps.
FrancescaPaolini says, "Eh... hello. I will interpretate for you."
Jota applauds William, Francesca.
[peanut-gallery] Paul says (to duchess), "gotcha"
WilliamDeLosa says, "Vi saluto. Mi chiamo William DeLosa."
Jacqueline claps with glee.
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "I totally don't remember the BAP bit"
</Sietse> Sietse has disconnected from ifMUD.
<Sietse> Sietse appears in Dorm A, significantly lowering the average age in the MUD.
FrancescaPaolini says, "Greetings. My name is William DeLosa."
Inso whispers "I drew that line on, tee-hee."
WilliamDeLosa says, "son venuto dall'aldila' per annunciare i premi per"
[peanut-gallery] DavidW says, "hm. More people I don't know."
WilliamDeLosa says, "il miglior posto nel quale si giocano giochi stranissimi"
(From Rob) ghira swoons
[peanut-gallery] Paul says, "oh goodness this is fun"
FrancescaPaolini says, "I have reesen from beyond thee mortal coil to announciate the prizes for"
Gunther says, "putana madonna!"
[peanut-gallery] BrenBarn says, "grrr! italians!!"
[peanut-gallery] Iain says, "Hee hee hee."
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "Heh"
[peanut-gallery] JessK says, ""Whoa, cool presenters."
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says (to BrenBarn), "YAY"
Photon looks awed.
[peanut-gallery] Jimbo says, "Now *that's* Italian."
[peanut-gallery] dfan says, "You mean 'presenterators'"
[peanut-gallery] Rob asks (of BB), "?"
Jearl has disconnected.
Jearl goes home.
Gunther says, "or should I say 'porcal miseria!'"
FrancescaPaolini says, "Best place in which to play nefeh... nefah... nefaree-us games"
[peanut-gallery] BrenBarn says (to Rob), "pokey"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "porca, even"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "oh ok"
[peanut-gallery] BoingBall says, "pokey explains it all away"
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says (to Jimbo), "Yay"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "IL OPPRESSIONE"
DavidW listens intently.
[peanut-gallery] Sargent laughs.
[peanut-gallery] BrenBarn says, "hooray"
FrancescaPaolini whispers into the mic, "I believe that this about mortal coil is a... how you say.... hint for thee people who did not understand thee plot"
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "Heehee"
[peanut-gallery] Ced says (to matthew), "BAF transcript at http://eblong.com/zarf/award-transcript4.html"
Psmith says, "spoilers!"
<KF> KF has connected to ifMUD.
[peanut-gallery] Jota says, "Hee."
WilliamDeLosa looks displeased at his interpreter, who has committed mortal trespass
[peanut-gallery] BrenBarn says, "a transcript of baf? wow, the human genome project is really cookin' with gas"
KF walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice it approaching it from the other side.
FrancescaPaolini looks like Hell
WilliamDeLosa He sweeps a gaze back over the faces below
WilliamDeLosa says, "I candidati sono:"
FrancescaPaolini says, "The candi.... eh... nominees are:"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "hey, "sono" is wrong!"
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says (to BrenBarn), "Okay. I'll laugh at your joke. Heh. There."
[peanut-gallery] Adam says, "Hmm"
WilliamDeLosa plots Gunther's demise in less that four hours
[peanut-gallery] BrenBarn says (to jacq), "yay"
WilliamDeLosa says, "1893 (Peter Nepstad): un mistero grande come l'aldila'"
Gunther says, "aiee"
[peanut-gallery] Adam asks, "Which award did zarf present to BAP?"
Rob applauds
FrancescaPaolini says, "1893: A world's fair mystery, and a game the size of the underworld"
Trent claps
DavidW claps and clpas
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "best individual puzzle, perhaps"
[peanut-gallery] dfan says, "Best Use of Presenter"
Sietse applauds
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "no wait"
Jimbo cheers.
(From Gunther) Dante sues!
Jacqueline claps and laughs.
Sousa exclaims, "yay!"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "I don't even remember!"
Paul exclaims, "yay 1893!"
</CaptainObvious> CaptainObvious has disconnected from ifMUD.
<CaptainObvious> CaptainObvious has connected to ifMUD.
Photon claps.#
[peanut-gallery] Adam says, "That seems to be right"
[peanut-gallery] Iain asks, "Best writing?"
Matthew claps.
CaptainObvious concentrates, and disappears.
CaptainObvious walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice it approaching it from the other side.
[peanut-gallery] DavidW asks, "Best Location/Place, I think?"
Storme says, "yay"
[peanut-gallery] Psmith says, "Individual puzzle, but it wasn't an award, just a nomination."
[peanut-gallery] DavidW says, "Best Setting."
[peanut-gallery] Sietse asks, "is that an award?"
WilliamDeLosa exclaims, "Agostino (Terrence V. Koch). Un gioco con troppo testo ma tanta gioia!"
[peanut-gallery] Emily says, "I think it must be setting"
FrancescaPaolini says, "Augustine. A game of large text-fulls but oodles of joy."
[peanut-gallery] Adam says, "Wait, no"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "it won best npcs and best game"
[peanut-gallery] Adam says, "Rematch won"
Paul exclaims, "yay Augustine!"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "neither of which I think zarf would have presented"
Jacqueline says, "Yay oodles."
DavidW claps
Jimbo claps.
Sietse hurrahs
[peanut-gallery] Psmith says, "(according to my list)"
[peanut-gallery] Iain says, "Yeah, I can't see zarf ever winning Best Game."
[peanut-gallery] Adam says (to Duchess), "Your favorite Xyzzy moment didn't happen!"
Sousa claps!
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "I seem to recall zarf sitting in the audience cheering BAP on, but that's about it"
WilliamDeLosa says, "Terra e Cielo (Paul O'Brian): un gioco il cui scopo e' anche piu' grande dei miei."
[peanut-gallery] Gunther laughs.
FrancescaPaolini says, "Earth and Sky: A game set in a canvas wider even than my plans."
DavidW applauds.
[peanut-gallery] Emily reads this as 'wider even than my pants"
Recchi cheers!
Rob claps!
[peanut-gallery] Psmith says, "Varicella won Best Game in 99."
Jacqueline applauds EAS2.
[peanut-gallery] BrenBarn says, "there's nothing for it but for zarf to win something and then rob to win the next year so he can receive the award from zarf"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "Your pants so wide,..."
Storme says, "yay"
Sietse applauds!
MadMonk claps.
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "Yay!"
Trent says, "Cheers"
[peanut-gallery] Paul says (to Emily), "Now there's a sequel idea..."
WilliamDeLosa exclaims, "La torre nella luce di luna (Yoon Ha Lee): Si svolge in una torre. Nella luce della luna. Macche magia nera!"
Sousa exclaims, "yay!"
[peanut-gallery] Sietse pants from exhaustion.
Gunther says, "Yay Yoon!"
maga says, "yay"
FrancescaPaolini says, "The Moonlit Tower. Set in a tower. Lit by a moon."
Jimbo claps.
[peanut-gallery] BrenBarn says, "jo mama so fat, she wider than my pants"
FrancescaPaolini looks around uncertainly
Psmith says, "yay."
Stas smokes another cigar -- this time _really_ stinking one.
DavidW yays.
Iain says, "Yay Moon!"
FrancescaPaolini says, "Damnation for their devilry."
MadMonk applauds.
JessK cheers
Matthew claps.
Iain says, "Also, Tower!"
Paul exclaims, "yay Moonlit Tower!"
WilliamDeLosa says, "Savoir Faire (Emily Short): un gioco che si svolge in mezzo a quei malvagi francesi"
Storme says, "yay!"
maga says, "yay"
JessK says, "yay!"
Photon exclaims, "Yay!"
Sietse yay!
Gunther says, "trans: A game from the Old Europe"
Sousa applauds
Paul exclaims, "yay Savoir Faire!"
Sietse exclaims, "yay!"
Ced exclaims, "yay Torre Nella Luce di Luna, only in Korean"
Jimbo cheers.
Matthew claps.
MadMonk cheers.
maga says, "har"
Matthew says, "Yay."
DavidW exclaims in delight.
Recchi cheers!
WilliamDeLosa exclaims, "Tamburo!"
FrancescaPaolini says, "Drumroll!"
Photon holds his breath.
FrancescaPaolini taps lightly on her little book of love poetry
CaptainObvious claps
Jacqueline raises an eyebrow.
Inso exclaims, "in delight!"
(From Sietse) The drums roll, rising in pitch.
Jimbo raises the other one.
WilliamDeLosa sees a rising darkness
WilliamDeLosa blinks and look around. Notices an envelope in his hand.
Jacqueline says (to Jimbo), "Ha! Stop that! No more champagne for you!"
DavidW takes a crane shot.
WilliamDeLosa thinks: 'I must have won this envelope in the inn, last night'
gayla claps.
Sietse claps
Jacqueline says, "The suspense!"
WilliamDeLosa opens the envelope, reads it, nods, and closes it again.
[peanut-gallery] Emily says, "ha"
(From Gunther) </WilliamDeLosa> has disconnected.
Iain says, "Hee hee."
(From Sietse) The pitch rises!
Jacqueline says, "Heehee"
Storme says, "heehee"
Jimbo laughs.
WilliamDeLosa looks at crowd
(From Sietse) The suspense is becoming unbearable!
<elf> Hm.
Jota waves to William.
Stas exclaims, "Oh!"
WilliamDeLosa asks, "Sorry, did you want something?"
elf walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice it approaching it from the other side.
WilliamDeLosa asks, "Why are you all looking at me?"
[peanut-gallery] Ced says, "the tension is intense"
Gadget says, "heh"
WilliamDeLosa asks, "I've just come here from bed?"
JessK says, "He speaks English."
The crowd starts to rush the stage.
elf asks, "Have the awards started yet?"
BrenBarn says, "hey, you were looking at us, man"
FrancescaPaolini is carried off by some Hell's Angels
Gunther says, "You aren't wearing any pants!"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "that's why they call it tension"
Jimbo says, "Out with it, Bill."
[peanut-gallery] Recchi says, "The Count is KILLING me"
WilliamDeLosa exclaims, "The envelope? It's mine!"
Trent laughs
WilliamDeLosa says, "But the trophy is...."
BoingBall says (to elf), "Yeah, they're on now"
[peanut-gallery] elf has joined the channel.
WilliamDeLosa says, "....belonging to...."
DavidW says, "stomp. stomp. stomp stomp stomp."
elf asks (of BoingBall), "Which prizes have been awarded?"
WilliamDeLosa exclaims, "...Peter Nepstad!!!!!!!"
Rob claps!
BrenBarn says (to elf), "look at the chalkboard object here"
Gunther says, "WOOOOO"
Psmith says, "woo!"
Sargent says, "yay!"
Iain says, "YAY"
inky says, "yay!"
DavidW says, "YESSS!!!"
Storme says, "YAY"
Photon "Yay 1893!
two-star exclaims, "yay!"
Gadget exclaims, "yay!"
JessK says, "yay!"
Matthew claps.
Emily says, "yay massivest game ever"
Sousa says, "whoo hooo..."
Rob says, "woo!"
WilliamDeLosa asks, "Is he here?"
MadMonk cheers!
Trent cheers
BoingBall claps
Jacqueline says, "WOO!"
Jimbo woo-hoos!
dfan claps
schep applauds.
Paul says, "YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY"
Jota claps.
BrenBarn says, "it was a good year"
elf says, "Thanks"
veek applauds demurely from her seat
eileen claps wildly
Iain says, "Woo last century! Wait, two centuries ago!"
HairBrain says, "ooarr"
Jacqueline says, "Yay hard work paying off!"
DavidW cheers
WilliamDeLosa asks, "...suspicious, no?"
Jarb says, "woo"
Iain says, "Those wacky victorians!"
Sietse cheers like a madman!
CaptainObvious cheers!
Gunther says (to Iain), "and their corsets!"
Jimbo says, "Yay, 19th century."
Kiz walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice her approaching it from the other side.
DavidW hands out free chocolate bars and ostrich eggs.
[peanut-gallery] Storme asks, "is he here?"
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "I don't think so"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "I think not"
[peanut-gallery] elf asks, "IS who here?"
Sietse says, "Next year will be even better."
Gunther asks, "1894?"
[peanut-gallery] BrenBarn says, "too bad"
[peanut-gallery] Storme says, "the winner of best setting"
[peanut-gallery] DavidW says, "Peter."
WilliamDeLosa says, "Almost as though something.... terrrrible... had happened to him"
Sargent says, "yay fake_Peter_Nepstad!"
Sietse says, "Unbelievable though it seems."
inky says, "hrm, it doesn't look like Peter is here"
Jon blinks and looks around. He notices he seems to be on stage, goes bright red and climbs down again, apologising.
DavidW says, "I'm so glad 1893 won this one."
[peanut-gallery] Ced says, "All the shareware boxes will have to go out with a little sticker 'BEST SETTING 2002'"
Jimbo says, "He's stuck on the top of the Ferris Wheel."
Iain says (to inky), "He probably got lost looking for the exit from the fair."
[peanut-gallery] BrenBarn says, "yay, that would rock"
CaptainObvious gets pac man ghost.
[peanut-gallery] Gunther puts CD in box, then box in CD, and they both vanish in a puff!
inky says, "well, I will say, on his behalf, that the 20th century will be glorious -- motor-cars will gaily ride the roads, tele-vision will enable people to study and converse across far distances, and aero-planes will soar across the skies conveying world leaders to their appointments"
[peanut-gallery] Jimbo says, "great idea, Ced."
Sargent says, "eeagh! iron tele-vision!"
inky says, "and don't get me started on the rocket pants"
Gunther asks, "what about space cars?"
Matthew says (to inky), "Hee hee."
maga says, "hooray for rocket pants"
Iain says (to inky), "Hip-hip-hurrah!"
DavidW says (to inky), "Telsa promised to fix those!"
Sietse exclaims, "I go now. Bye bye!"
Sietse leaves the auditorium to the west.
Adam says (to inky), "and the study of Opticks will continue unabated"
Jacqueline says, "Yay rocket pants."
<mef> The IFMUD Non-Sequitur Society: We don't make sense, but we love pizza.
JessK asks (of gunther), "Did you say space cats?"
BoingBall says (to adam), "yay"
inky says (to Adam), "yay"
Gunther says (to DavidW), "good old Nikola"
</Sietse> Sietse has disconnected from ifMUD.
Rob claps
Gunther says (to Adam), "with less grinding lenses!"