On March 11, 2001, at 1:30 P.M. EST (6:30 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, with comments made on the #peanut-gallery discussion. Should you not wish to see those comments, an expurgated version is also available.

Guard#0249 arrives from the west.
Guard#0531 arrives from the west.
[peanut-gallery] Rob says (to neild), "eeagh!"
[peanut-gallery] mcp says, "hee"
[peanut-gallery] maga_dogg exclaims, "yay!"
Mona says, "hm."
[peanut-gallery] BrenBarn says, "Whoa"
[peanut-gallery] jwalrus says, "dammit, have to leave ... bleah"
[peanut-gallery] katre says, "#peanut : calls devil to tell him"
jwalrus curses and leaves quietly to avoid disrupting the proceedings.
Guard#0531 and Guard #0249 ascend the stage.
[peanut-gallery] Jota asks, "Vgame too?"
[peanut-gallery] Emily says, "I think so"
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "yeah"
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "he'd be doing best game also, but that's eileen's job"
MikeS cheers in Boston.
Guard#0531 clears his throat.
[peanut-gallery] maga_dogg says (to jota), "Or badmachine, possibly..."
Hloif applauds.
[peanut-gallery] Emily says, "I want to see them do a dance routine"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "that or LGOP! It's PLAGURISM!!!"
[peanut-gallery] inky says (to maga), "hee hee"
[peanut-gallery] Ellison says (to Gunther), "hee"
Guard#0531 says, "They say that NPCs add the human element to IF..."
[peanut-gallery] BrenBarn says (to Gunther), "Ha!"
[peanut-gallery] neild exclaims (at Guard), "Not Melvin!"
Guard#0531 exclaims, "...but as recent games have shown, they can also add the feline element, the canine element, or even the ursine element!"
[peanut-gallery] Hloif says, "TSD."
Guard#0531 looks expectantly at Guard #0249.
Rob claps.
[peanut-gallery] Hloif asks, "What game are the Guards from?"
Guard#0249 stares dully into space
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "duh"
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "Varicella"
[peanut-gallery] (from Sargent) Guard#0531 says, "Thank you, thank you. I will be here all the week."
[peanut-gallery] TableSaw says, "bruce willis in 'the ursine element.'"
[peanut-gallery] Emily says, "heehee"
[peanut-gallery] Urbatain says, "estos son barman y drogin"
Guard#0531 taps his foot.
[peanut-gallery] Hloif says, "Okay, sorry, it's been a while since I played it."
Guard#0249 drools
katre says, "devil says thank you to everyone"
katre says, "(I'm on phone)"
Gunther says (to katre), "yay"
inky says, "yay devil in absentia"
Grocible says, "Okay. Well. Congratulations to all the winners. I'm afraid I have yet another work-related crisis on the go, so I'll see you all later."
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "yes, but there's also the pattern that all of the presenters have been from varicella"
Grocible goes home.
</Grocible> Grocible has disconnected from ifMUD.
Hloif says (to katre), "Yay."
Guard#0531 says (to 0249), "Pssst. It's your line, idiot."
[peanut-gallery] mcp says, "that one game is getting referenced an awful lot, yes"
neild exclaims (at katre), "YAY DEVIL!"
[peanut-gallery] Ellison says, "I mapped Varicella out then never got back to it, unfortunately"
Mona says, "yay devil!"
katre says, "he's sorry he can't be here"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says (to Rob), "even Zarf"
katre says, "helping a friend move"
[peanut-gallery] Hloif says (to Rob), "Zarf was in Varicell..."
Guard#0249 says (to 0531), "Me not know line."
[peanut-gallery] Hloif says (to Gunther), "Damn you."
[peanut-gallery] Doe says, "didn't realize zarf was a character from varacellia"
[peanut-gallery] Rob rolls his eyes.
[peanut-gallery] inky asks (of katre), "movie bodies?"
Guard#0531 says (to 0249), "Just read it off the teleprompter."
[peanut-gallery] mcp says, "maybe adam is preparing us for a sequel"
[peanut-gallery] inky asks, "er, move bodies?"
[peanut-gallery] mcp says, "(joke)"
[peanut-gallery] baf says, "Well, I'm sure he played it..."
Guard#0249 says (to 0531), "Me never learned to read."
[peanut-gallery] TableSaw says, "cries!"
Guard#0531 says (to 0249), "Oh, for-- 'Look a bear!' Your line is 'Look a bear!'"
<Guest1> Alex says, "Awwwk! Word on the street is that you are... um, seven?"
Guard#0249 exclaims (at 0531), "A bear?! Bears is scary! Save me from bear!"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "excellent"
[peanut-gallery] maga_dogg says, "I just hope the Chef from Varicella turns up soon..."
Guard#0531 sighs.
[peanut-gallery] Sargent says, "You hear body fall to the north!"
[peanut-gallery] TableSaw says, "i hate this f234235 shift key."
[peanut-gallery] Ellison says, "I think the little that I played Varicella, I imagined myself wearing zarf's light cape or whatever"
[peanut-gallery] katre says, "no, valancy is in boston now"
Guard#0531 says, "Okay, the nominees for Best NPCs are:"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "You are a ..."
[peanut-gallery] inky says (to Sargent), "yay!"
Guard#0531 says, "Being Andrew Plotkin by Rob Wheeler..."
Gunther says, "cheer"
katre says, "yay"
caleb cheers
mcp applauds
zarf says, "yay"
dfan says, "Woo"
veek says, "yaaay""
Emily says, "yay BAP!!!"
Jota says, "Woo"
Doe applauds.
LoneCleric claps.
Kays cheers
Frisco claps
Hloif exclaims, "YAY!"
Guard#0531 says, "Galatea by Emily Short..."
BrenBarn cheers.
Mona says, "yay multiple personality game!"
stephenb cheers
katre says, "yay"
maga_dogg says, "yay"
Hloif cheers!
Sargent applauds, and applauds again.
Rob claps.
caleb cheers
neild exclaims, "Yay Galatea again!"
mclem cheers lots
Guard#0531 says, "Heroine's Mantle by Andy Phillips..."
BrenBarn continues to applaud.
wuss claps.
dfan cheers!
Frisco laps
Rob claps.
stephenb cheers
dfan cheers again
Kays applauds
[peanut-gallery] maga_dogg asks, "also, npc *S*?"
Urbatain exclaims, "yea beign begingg gejfede argh!"
Sargent claps.
[peanut-gallery] ander asks, "Am I the only one who sees a resemblence between these guards and Biggs and Wedge of console RPG fame?"
caleb exclaims, "yay!"
Ellison says, "yay Heroine's Mantle"
Urbatain says, "WOWWWW"
LoneCleric cheers.
Guard#0531 says, "Kaged by Ian Finley..."
Hloif claps.
Rob claps.
Doe claps.
Mona applauds.
caleb claps
dfan claps
Emily says, "yay Kaged"
Ellison says, "yay IF"
maga_dogg claps
Paul cheers for Kaged and everything else that was announced while he was AFK
Sargent applauds.
Gunther cheers
Guard#0531 says, "Punk Points by Jim Munroe..."
Frisco hoots
Urbatain says, "Bravo Kaged"
katre says, "yay"
veek claps and claps
Rob claps.
caleb claps
[peanut-gallery] mcp says, "you could count pygmalion i guess"
ander cheers more.
dfan applauds.
BoingBall claps
Paul says, "Yay punk points"
TableSaw says, "yay catholicteens!"
[peanut-gallery] baf asks, ""Console RPG"? Haven't you ever seen Star Wars?"
Guard#0531 exclaims, "...and Rameses, by Stephen Bond!"
Gunther says, "woo kaged, punk points"
Hloif claps.
LoneCleric cheers.
Kays cheers
[peanut-gallery] katre says (to ander), "hee hee, but they were stolen"
Ellison says, "yay punk points"
Frisco never played it but claps anyway
BoingBall cheers.
dfan cheers
Paul cheers!
Rob claps.
Guard#0249 exclaims, "Rameses = condoms = impotence!"
Sargent applauds.
Urbatain claps
caleb cheers!
Mona says, "yay, stephenb again!"
Emily laughs
Doe claps.
[peanut-gallery] ander says (to baf), "Yes, they were stolen from there first. I know."
Rob laughs.
TableSaw says, "yay"
Gunther says, "yay rameses!!"
stephenb laughs
mcp applauds the nominees
baf cheers
Guard#0531 says (to 0249), "Thank you for that."
[peanut-gallery] Paul says, "guffaws."
Urbatain claps
mclem cheers the roommates for being wonderfully unpleasant.
[peanut-gallery] maga_dogg says, "not a great year for npcs, apart from emily's stuff, imo"
Guard#0531 says, "And the winner is..."
Jota applauds.
[peanut-gallery] Paul er, guffaws.
[peanut-gallery] neild says, "Rameses had great NPCs."
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "um, bap"
Guard#0531 exclaims, "Being Andrew Plotkin!"
[peanut-gallery] BrenBarn says, "Rameses rules."
katre says, "yay!"
Gunther says, "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY"
Rob says, "Whoa?!"
Emily claps wildly
BrenBarn cheers.
Tril whistles
veek says, "YAY!!"
caleb exclaims, "YAYY!!!!!"
Urbatain says, "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAA"
Kays cheers wildly
TableSaw says, "Yay!"
inky claps.
LoneCleric cheers.
dfan says, "Woo!!"
stephenb exclaims, "yay!"
zarf says, "yay more"
mclem cheers the PC NPCs.
mcp cheers
Jota exclaims, "Re-ci-pe!"
[peanut-gallery] maga_dogg says (to gunther), "I guess, but not very interactive"
Sargent says, "Woo!"
Rob stumbles to his feet.
Paul exclaims, "YAY BAP YAY BAP YAY BAP!!!"
Urbatain exclaims, "being!"
Frisco chers
Jota exclaims, "Re-ci-pe!"
Hloif CHEERS! "YAY!!!!!!!!"
zarf applauds himself in an award-winning role
Rob climbs up on stage.
Urbatain claps loudly
Oren cheers
ander cheers for an interesting game.
neild exclaims, "Aw, Zarf always wins!"
Guard#0531 leaves the auditorium to the west.
nm clps. er, claps
Mona claps wildly.
baf exclaims, "Bap! Bap! Bap! Bap!"
Guard#0249 leaves the auditorium to the west.
Gunther says (to zarf), "hee"
</Guest1> Alex forgets about the guest. "Now I don't believe in anything!"
Rob says, "Wow."
MikeS claps loudly
veek stamps feet
[peanut-gallery] Dilbon says, "It's obviously good to be Andrew Plotkin."
BrenBarn congratulates zarf -- no, wait, Rob.
eileen applauds enthusiastically
Gunther says (to Rob), "woo woo woo"
[peanut-gallery] TableSaw begins writing Being Rob Wheeler.
[peanut-gallery] mcp is pleased by the diversity of winners
Doe applauds wildly.
[peanut-gallery] Hloif exclaims (at TableSaw), "Hee!"
[peanut-gallery] neild exclaims (at TS), "Yay recursive games!"
Rob says, "Okay, this is really weird, because I had a dream just before I woke up today where I won this particular award."
Sargent says (to Rob), "Yay NPC drawn from real life!"
wuss exclaims, "Um, yay. YAY!"
Urbatain claps loudly
<ghira> ghira has connected to ifMUD.
[peanut-gallery] Ellison says, "I thought, given the scope of the game, the NPCs in Heroine's Mantle were fun and respective... and Rematch, IMO, has great NPCs"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther writes Being The XYZZY Winner
wuss exclaims, "Wooo!"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "(easier)"
[peanut-gallery] inky says (to TS), ""Hats. Lots of hats. And danishes. It's not easy on the mean streets of Austin, but a guy can get by if he knows the tricks.""
Mona says, "yay twilight zone!"
[peanut-gallery] Paul says, "So you see, dreams really can come true."
<K-Y> K-Y has connected to ifMUD.
[peanut-gallery] (from BrenBarn) Gunther writes Being the Code
[peanut-gallery] Sargent laughs.
[peanut-gallery] Ellison says, "er, respective = respectable"
Emily says, "wackiness"
K-Y arrives from the west.
[peanut-gallery] Dilbon says, "Being the IF Author Who Never Wins Anything"
[peanut-gallery] mcp exclaims (at inky), "yay!"
two-star not that Rob hasn't really woken up yet.
[peanut-gallery] maga_dogg says (to ellison), "Just personal opinion. I didn't like Heroine's NPCs"
</ghira> I need chocolate and ricotta cake from the kosher bakery in via Portico d'Ottavia!
[peanut-gallery] neild exclaims (at inky), "Hee!"
two-star says, "er notes"
Rob says, "Anyway, I'd like to thank everybody in the world, except a few bits of Delaware, for this honor"
Psmith says (to Rob), "Did you dream you won any other awards as well? I've still got time to get to the bookies."
Gunther says (to Rob), "Sorry, this is still your dream."
Rob says, "and especially Zarf, for being zarf and being an NPC and all the rest of it."
BoingBall says (to Ps), "hee hee"
[peanut-gallery] (from inky) Delaware cries!
[peanut-gallery] (from Sargent) Rob suddenly looks down, realizes he is on stage with no pants.
[peanut-gallery] baf asks, "Has anyone done a parody along the lines of "Being Matt Barringer" yet?"
[peanut-gallery] Emily says, "heehee"
<Guest1> Alex says, "Awwwk! Word on the street is that you are... um, seven?"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says (to Sargent), "yay!"
Urbatain claps zarf and rob
Rob says, "I'm quite pleased. Thank you, everyone."
[peanut-gallery] Doe asks, "wonder what's zarf kick back is?"
Guest1 arrives from the west.
Emily claps again
[peanut-gallery] mcp says (to baf), "that'd be amazing"
[peanut-gallery] zarf kicks Doe back.
caleb cheers
[peanut-gallery] Sargent says (to Doe), "All the salsa drinking glasses he wants."
katre clap s'more
inky says, "yay Rob"
[peanut-gallery] Doe says, "hehehe"
Rob tries to leave, but doesn't know which way to go.
Jota applauds
Mona twirls her moustaches. Ha-HA!
Gunther says, "heh"
Mona says, "er, um.."
MikeS cheers!
[peanut-gallery] inky says (to Mona), "plural? eek"
Guest1 says, "/help"
eileen has arrived.
Rob asks, "Also, do I get an award?"
Paul cheers!
[peanut-gallery] maga_dogg says (to mona), "ew bearded lady."
Rob sits back down.
[peanut-gallery] Jota exclaims, "He will have to bodysurf the crowd to get offstage!"
inky laughs.
(From Adam) zarf points sagely at the wall.
inky says, "get that man an award!"
Adam says, "Grr, late"
Gunther says, "IT'S DELIBERATE"
Adam says, "Whoopsie. Hang on"
[peanut-gallery] zarf says (to adam), "but still excellent"
inky says, "but meanwhile"
[peanut-gallery] ander exclaims, "The insolence! He wants and AWARD!"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "meanwhile, back in 1997..."
Best NPCs trophy materializes.
Adam points
[peanut-gallery] TableSaw says, "...back at Stately Xyzzy Manor..."
[peanut-gallery] BoingBall exclaims, "And orange juice!"