On March 28th, 2009, at 3:00 P.M. EDT, the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, not including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you wish to see those comments, a version with those comments is also available.
inky says, "and now, up next to present Best Individual PC, please welcome Grunk!"
olethros asks, "where did it march to?"
DavidW toasts with ginger flavoured biscuits.
maga says, "yay Grunk"
Guest1 walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice it approaching it from the other side.
Gunther says (to olethros), "DOOOM"
olethros says, "yay! grunk!"
Taleslinger sips Irish coffee.
Lucea says, "yay"
djfletch clap grunk
Grunk has arrived.
Guest1 says, "@joinc #peanut-gallery"
Grunk comes out from behind the curtain and picks up the microphone.
Grunk seems to be about to eat it, but at the last moment he changes his mind and talks into it instead.
Grunk says, "When some person tell story, person that them telling story about not really any person at all. That not person just there for making story happen around."
Wendymoon walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice it approaching it from the other side.
Guest1 says, "'tales aha... :I thanks"
Grunk says, "But some story all about person that story about. Them even have name or job or dog or maybe pants. And then it not just story any more: it *story about person*."
Grunk says, "This award call 'Best Individual PC'. It for that kind of special person that make story about them worth telling."
Grunk says, "First person that maybe win seem like good person for sitting and talking about thing and drinking beers with. But maybe not so good for swimming."
Ben walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
DavidW says, "hmm. A swimming PC would be nice."
Grunk says, "It Graham, from 'Everybody Dies' by Jim Munroe."
Grunk says, "Some person say that doing louder than talking. If that true, then this next man very very loud. And Grunk not just mean going bang bang lots."
Grunk says, "It Mute Lawton, from 'Gun Mute' by C. E. J. Pacian."
Grunk says, "Then there man that not afraid of staying when every other person go. Him not afraid of Enemy. Him only think about one thing: finding her."
Grunk says, "It David, from 'Nightfall' by Eric Eve."
Grunk says, "Last person not like other person in list. Him shorter and more hairy. And not have real thumb. But him still smart! Maybe even smart as pig."
JimMunroe sways a little, lightheaded.
Grunk says, "It Hardy Bulldog, from 'Snack Time!' by Hardy Bulldog and Renee Choba."
vimes sets his applause to loop on his sampler, and sits back with popcorn
Grunk holds up an envelope and says, "Winner inside of this."
DavidW cheers Mute loudly without words.
Grunk opens the envelope and takes out a small piece of paper.
Grunk says, "And winner..."
Grunk look confused.
Grunk exclaims, "...little paper with squiggly mark on it!"
NamelessAdventurer says, "...oh, dear"
Taleslinger says, "Don't eat it"
Lucea says, "the coding of that paper was quite impressive"
McMartin exclaims, "Yay Mark!"
maga says, "man, that guy wins all the time"
NamelessAdventurer comes up next to Grunk and eyes Grunk's ear a little dubiously, before leaning in to whisper in it
jdouglass considers rushing the stage
Grunk says, "Oh."
Grunk exclaims, "Winner... Hardy Bulldog, from 'Snack Time!' by Hardy Bulldog and Renee Choba!"
olethros says, "yaaay"
DavidW says, "It Bulldog!"
djfletch barks excitedly
Grunk says, "Now Hardy can come up and talk or dance or thing like that. If Hardy here. Or Renee."
violet exclaims, "Hooray!"
nm puts his hands together
Guest2 says, "yeah!""
Grunk says, "Maybe Hardy and Renee not here."
inky claps more.
Grunk waves and goes backstage, eating the piece of paper.
inky asks (of Grunk), "can you do dog-retrieval as well as pig-retrieval?"
dougegan says, ""cheers""
inky says, "oh well"
McMartin says, "Puppies are not for eating"
Grunk has disconnected.
Grunk goes home.
dougegan leaves the auditorium to the west.