On March 9, 2002, at 4:00 P.M. EST (9:00 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, without comments made on the #peanut-gallery discussion. Should you wish to see those comments, they are also available.

eileen says, "Next up, we have the award for Best Writing..."
ctate gives two turntables to eileen.
eileen says, "Let me give you our next presenter..."
jarel types examine everybody but me
eileen says, "The Boatman, from Metamorpheses"
eileen steps back
Paul claps silently
TheGondolier, robed and hooded in heavy black cloth, steps up on stage.
maga_dogg says, "yay"
Photon hits the gong.
mcp asks, "anyone got a coin?"
Rob claps somberly.
Thrax says, "yay Metamorphoses"
Gunther says (to mcp), "DON'T PAY THE FERRYMAN!"
ctate stomps slowly.
TheGondolier holds up sign "You may remember me from Metamorphoses"
neild says (to mcp), "No no no no! Not until he get -FUCK YOU GUNTHER"
Thrax claps so hard he tips the gondola. Splash!
TheGondolier holds up sign "Well, I've left that gig"
ctate laughs.
TheGondolier tears off robe to reveal a gold sequin shirt
Dennis_Jerz throws rock at gondolier.
Gunther says, "XYZZY: The Semaphore Version!"
veek laughs
Thrax exclaims, "Oh no! Disco!"
Jacqueline holds up sign "Yes, I remember."
TheGondolier says, "I'm going on stage! I'm gonna sing! I'm gonna dance!"
Psmith says (to Gondolier), "Yay!"
Thrax says, "Oh, okay. Whew."
neild falls over.
Photon rolls on the floor.
ctate stomps wildly!
mcp blinks
Rob claps!
TheGondolier says, "the singing gondolier, coming soon to a theatre near you!"
Dennis_Jerz is not affected by the goldonier's display.
Duchess waves $20 dollar bills
DavidW claps!
(From Gunther) TheGondolier says, "I didn't want to be a gondolier anyway!"
TheGondolier spins his boatman's pole around and does a little soft-shoe
eileen rubs eyes, disbelieving
Dennis_Jerz wonders what a goldonier is.
(From Gunther) TheGondolier says, "I wanted to be a lumberjack!"
mcp asks (of gunther,neild), "NOW can i pay him?"
neild is laughing way too hard to type.
Rob whistles!
Photon exclaims, "Woo-hoo!"
Storme says (to Gunther), "yay"
Thrax asks (of Dennis), "well, you saw Goldeneye and Goldfinger, right?"
TheGondolier says, "ahem"
Gunther says (to mcp), "yes"
BoingBall says (to gunther), "argh"
Photon says, "He's a lumberjack and he's..."
Bishop says (to neild), "Stick a dollar bill in his thong, if he comes close."
TheGondolier says, "and now, I will present my first number. it's a little something I call ..."
TheGondolier says, ""row, row, row my boat""
Duchess says (to bishop), "i got 20s, but he isn't coming my way"
Bishop says, "Er, at mcp there, I meant."
TheGondolier says, "mi-mi-mi"
ghira goes home.
</ghira> I need chocolate and ricotta cake from the kosher bakery in via Portico d'Ottavia!
(From Gunther) Spock says, "But life ISN'T a dream!"
TheGondolier notices NamelessAdventurer glaring at him
DavidW chokes on a peanut.
NamelessAdventurer has arrived.
TheGondolier says, "well, ok, enough about mi-- er, me"
ctate chuckles.
TheGondolier says, "let's get these nominees read"
NamelessAdventurer says, "From backstage, my glare penetrates, even."
TheGondolier asks, "NamelessSuperhero, is that you?"
BoingBall says, "like a moose"
Gunther says, "A NamelessAdventurer of Elvish Antiquity"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Thank god I'm here!"
TheGondolier says, "nominated for Best Writing, we have:"
Thrax exclaims (at nameless), "...Presenting Kid!"
markm asks (of Gunther), "You noticed the blue glow too?"
TheGondolier says, "All Roads, by the much-awarded Jon Ingold"
Rob claps!
Gunther says (to markm), "yes"
Jota says, "Woo, Roads."
Gunther says, "woo again"
ctate stomps enthusiastically!
TheGondolier says, "Best of Three, by Emily Short"
Aris exclaims, "Roads, yet again!"
Recchi claps
veek cheers
Photon applauds.
DavidW claps.
Rob claps!
Bishop exclaims, "HAT-TRICK! HAT-TRICK!"
ctate stomps on Grant!
Gunther says, "also, john woo"
BoingBall exclaims, "bo3! bo3!"
maga_dogg says, "Yaaaay"
Aris exclaims, "Bo3, yet again!"
jarel claps again
Photon exclaims, "One more for the roads!"
TheGondolier says, "hey Bishop, watch me pull this pigeon out of my hat!"
veek keeps clapping for all
maga_dogg says, "B! O! 333333..."
Marvin says, "Yay"
Thrax exclaims, "Hit the roads, Jon!"
neild exclaims, "Yay_Jon_and_Emily_macro!"
TheGondolier says, "Fallacy of Dawn, by Robb Sherwin"
Rob claps!
Marvin exclaims, "Yay!"
ctate stomps around in the aisle, trips, and falls down!
Gunther says, "yay FOD"
Thrax says (to Gondolier), "YJLTS 'fallac'"
TheGondolier says, "No Time to Squeal, by Mike Sousa and Robb Sherwin"
Rob claps!
maga_dogg says, "yay"
Jota says, "Yay, Squeal."
Gunther says, "Yay NTTS too"
ctate stomps some more!
TheGondolier says, "and remember, there might be no time to squeal, but there's always time to sing!"
rc says, "No Time To Squeal, Lots of Time to XYZZY"
Aris exclaims, "Squealing!"
jwalrus would squeal with excitement, but doesn't have time.
Photon exclaims, "Yay sing!"
Ryan repairs the floor beneath ctate before it gives way.
TheGondolier says, "er, and Pytho's Mask, by Emily Short"
Rob claps!
Marvin exclaims, "Yay!"
maga_dogg says, "yay"
Gunther says, "oo"
veek says, "YAY"
ctate stomps thunderously!
BoingBall sabotages ryan's work
Paul claps for All Roads, Best of Three, Fallacy of Dawn, No Time To Squeal, and Pytho's Mask, all at once
neild exclaims, "Yay Emily v. Emily!"
Gunther says, "also o_O;;;;;"
jwalrus says, "yay pytho, again!"
Recchi claps!
Thrax looks behind Pytho's Mask. It's Jon!
rc exclaims, "Yay double-nominated Emily!"
Dennis_Jerz cheers.
TheGondolier says (to neild), "either way, the fans win!"
Aris exclaims, "Most yayed author, yay!"
TheGondolier says, "and the winner is ... Fallacy of Dawn, by Robb Sherwin!"
Gunther says, "YES!!!!!!"
Storme says, "yay!"
Rob applauds!
Emily says, "yay Fallacy!"
Tanan applauds
DavidW cheers.
veek says, "Yay!"
Marvin exclaims, "YAY!"
Ryan says, "Yay Recchi!"
rc says, "Yay FOD"
ctate says, "WOO!"
Marvin exclaims, "WOO!"
nm says, "hooray"
Paul claps
Kiz says, "yay fallacy!"
Recchi says, "Oh my"
Marvin exclaims, "Yay!"
Hugo says, "FAWKING FALLACY!"
Marvin exclaims, "Woo yay!"
neild exclaims, "woo!"
Gunther says (to Recchi), "NON-SPEECH!"
Aris exclaims, "Fallacy!"
Marvin exclaims, "yay woo!"
ctate's feet hurt too much to stomp.
Recchi says, "I have to apologize to my partner, Mike Sousa, here. I put all the video game lines into Fallacy of Dawn, instead of for NTTS where they were originally headed."
Paul exclaims, "Yar!"
Photon tries to compile wxHugo for Linux.
NamelessAdventurer has arrived.
Recchi says, "The evil Hare in NTTS, for instance, was originally supposed to be depicted by Chris Crawford."
NamelessAdventurer gives Best Writing trophy to Recchi.
Recchi says, "(and there were going to be FORTY ONE scenes, not five)"
Hugo says, "Yay material swiping."
Gunther says (to Recchi), "hee!"
TheGondolier gets back in his gondola and slides bump-bump-bump down the steps of the stage
Gunther says (to Recchi), "bruce stole that one"
TheGondolier says, "next time you see me, I'll be famous! my name in lights!"
Recchi says, "No, seriously though, thanks everyone. Jon and Emily are two of my favorite authors, so I'm going to get off the stage before this becomes a Jack Palance / Marisa Tomei / My Cousin Vinny kind of thing."
eileen applauds happily
Ryan says, "Yay!"
Hjalfi claps.
neild exclaims (at TheGondolier), "Hey, it's Dan Doctoroff!"
DavidW says, "claps."
neild says, "<obscure NYC joke>"
Photon claps for TheGondolier.
Marvin claps lots.
veek says (to inky), "yay!"
Jaybird asks, "After the last award, there'll be an aditional award for best speech, right?"
Paul tries a one handed push-up, collapses.
Mus asks, "How about an award for briefest speech?"
Kiz says, "yay thing!"
Gunther says (to Mus), "won by jon ingold"