On March 9, 2002, at 4:00 P.M. EST (9:00 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, without comments made on the #peanut-gallery discussion. Should you wish to see those comments, they are also available.

Massive Auditorium
The collapse of FrobozzCo.com has obviously taken its toll: the cavernous hall's ceiling is badly in need of a paint job, and most of the magical spotlights are no longer functioning. Strung between the weather-beaten golden pillars that flank the stage is a large "HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR" banner, with "CHINESE NEW YEAR" crossed out and "2001 XYZZY AWARDS" written in with magic marker. The velvet-covered seats are still plentiful, but watch out for springs. The doors through which crying throngs fled the last stockholders meeting are to the west.

You can see: READ THIS PLEASE, a chalkboard listing the winners, Note for the Xyzzy awards, xyzzy drinking game
Players: markm, PerrySimm, Rob, Ryan, Stacey, neild, Storme, Thrax, eileen, Oren, neild2, Skip, jwalrus, DavidW, devil, atholbrose, Aris, nm, Bishop, Miseri, BoingBall, Gunther, buzzard, Jota, maga_dogg, Tanan, josh_g, Paul, ctate, boucher, Emily, Markov, baf, inky, Alex, Hugo, veek, Photon, Ellison, andyf, Yekrats, Jacqueline, Recchi, Dennis_Jerz, RyoVII, ralphf, Jaybird, Hjalfi, Ander, Jarb, Sargent, Noura, Marvin, Carrad2, wuss
Visible Exits: west
Iain arrives from the west.
Iain disappears through an invisible gap in the MUD. You think you may have heard the sounds of chatting before the gap closed again.
Iain arrives from the west.
RyoVII says, "lol"
NamelessAdventurer has arrived.
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Okay, settle down, you crazy kids!"
maga_dogg cheers wildly
Dennis_Jerz covers his bowl of cherios
<Eric> Eric has connected to ifMUD.
BoingBall settles in transit
Eric arrives from the west.
ctate builds a log cabin and proceeds to clear the forest.
Jaybird exclaims, "At the tone, 4:00. Beeeep!"
Gunther bounces around the room madly.
<dhan-spain> dhan-spain has connected to ifMUD.
maga_dogg sets fire to EVERYTHING
NamelessAdventurer says, "All the special effects are tied up in bankruptcy court, so without further ado - here's Eileen."
Kiz walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice her approaching it from the other side.
Iain says, "YAY"
Iain says, "Wait, that's Kiz."
neild exclaims, "Woooo!"
Paul claps for Eileen
neild2 says, "wooooo2"
Sargent says, "Yay Eileen no wait Kiz!"
DavidW claps.
Hjalfi claps sedately.
Aris claps
Marvin says, "woo"
dhan-spain arrives from the west.
Gunther clasps.
Thrax yay Eileen!
eileen exclaims, "Hello everyone!!"
BoingBall applauds
josh_g golfclaps.
maga_dogg says, "woo"
Jacqueline claps for Eileen.
eileen exclaims, "Thank you all for coming today!"
Thrax boos his own typing.
Dennis_Jerz claps
RyoVII exclaims, "Hi!"
dhan-spain says, "hello from Spain"
Iain says, "Applause!"
atholbrose waves and applauds.
Aris applauds again!
ctate beams.
eileen exclaims, "We have a great show for you today!"
Tanan applauds
Stacey says, "huzzah"
Iain applauds Spain!
Jacqueline says, "Yay!"
Ander applauds (for the first of many, many times today).
ctate says, "Fish!"
Dennis_Jerz honks the horn of the Pratt Dynamo
maga_dogg clicks his wrists
Gunther just applauds constantly until his hands fall off.
neild says (to Gunther), "Take it to #applause"
Ryan clicks his mandibles.
Gunther says (to neild), "YES SIR SORRY"
Jaybird yayyayyayyayyayyayyayyayyayyay!
neild says (to Gunther), "Take it to #apologies."
Sargent gives #channel-nazi to neild.
Gunther says, "#ok ..neild ok"
LoneCleric arrives from the west.
ctate says (to LoneCleric), "DOWN IN FRONT"
BoingBall says (to Sarge), "#godwin"
neild says, "everybody hee"
Thrax says (to neild&Gunther), "stop flirting, you two, or at least take it to #smoochies"
eileen says, "The first award to be presented is for Best Use of Medium"
NamelessAdventurer has arrived.
NamelessAdventurer says, "oops"
andyf dispenses plaudits.
Iain says, "Yay award which nobody understands what it means but sounds cool anyway!"
eileen says, "Let me introduce the presenter..."
josh_g says, "huzzah!"
NamelessAdventurer has arrived.
NamelessAdventurer asks, "Now?"
eileen exclaims, "...NamelessAdventurer!"
Gunther says, "WOO"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Hi everybody!"
Marvin says, "woo"
DavidW claps.
Paul exclaims, "Yay Nameless!"
Stacey says, "hooray"
Jota cheers.
BoingBall says, "hey-hey"
Hjalfi claps.
Sargent says, "Hi there N._______!"
Jacqueline applauds enthusiastically.
Paul says, "Nameless as a man can be"
Thrax says, "yay"
NamelessAdventurer says, "Adam Cadre is CLOSED NOW, so I'm here in his stead."
Iain says, "Joke Sargent just made!"
josh_g says, "huzzah Nameless"
Thrax says, "yay for who is quite a ! Yay""
RyoVII says, "lol"
Carrad2 asks, "Awards starting soon, then?"
Iain says (to NamelessAdamcadre), "More yay!"
NamelessAdventurer says, "I'm very honored to present the award for Best ... Best ... what's it called? Use of Medium, right. A very prestigious award."
Gunther says (to Carrad2), "they are already"
BoingBall says (to carrad), "in a couple of minutes ago"
Iain says (to Carrad2), "Soon being a few minutes ago, yes."
andyf will resume tomorrow at 10 AM after the Ritual Of The Watercress.
</andyf> .mlbrZ
dhan-spain says, "Medium... its sounds like parapsicologist..."
NamelessAdventurer says, "Following the ceremony, there will be fistfight in the Carousel Room over what the award is supposed to mean. But for now..."
DavidW cheers fight to come.
<dfan> Ooooooh ah! Zso zso zso zso zso zso zso zso. Fa, fa, fa, fa, fashion! Beep beep!
NamelessAdventurer says, "The nominees for Best Use of Medium in a 2001 game are..."
dfan walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
Dennis_Jerz catches the peanut
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Best of Three, by Emily Short!"
Rob claps!
maga_dogg exclaims, "Yay!"
ctate says, "yay!"
Storme says, "yay"
josh_g says, "yay!"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Heroes, by Sean Barrett!"
Paul exclaims, "Yay Bo3!!!"
inky says, "yay!"
Marvin says, "woo"
Iain says, "Yay swordstick!"
Aris claps.
Thrax exclaims, "yay!"
Rob claps
Dennis_Jerz yay
baf says, "yay"
Jacqueline says, "Yay! Emily!"
Iain says, "Yay dragon!"
Storme says, "yay"
Recchi cheers!
Paul exclaims, "Yay heroes!"
ctate kweepas!
Yekrats claps for all.
josh_g says, "also yay!"
nm says, "woo"
Marvin says, "woo"
Tanan applauds
Sargent says, "yay all around!"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Pick Up The Phone Booth and Aisle, by too damn many people for me to tell you all right now!"
maga_dogg exclaims, "Yay!!!"
Rob claps and whistles!
Gunther says, "yay!"
Emily says, "YAY!!!"
Photon exclaims, "woo-hoo!"
Storme says, "MUCH YAY"
Sargent says, "PUTPBAA!"
Marvin exclaims, "WOO!"
DavidW claps
nm says, "hoot"
Rob jumps up and down!
Iain says, "Yay wait NOT THAT ONE"
Paul exclaims, "Yay PUTPBAA!!!"
dfan says, "Whooooo"
Thrax exclaims, "yay too damn many people!"
Stacey says, "hooray too damn many people"
Jacqueline says, "Yay!"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Textfire Golf, by the peripatetic Adam Cadre!"
maga_dogg exclaims, "WOOHAA!"
Storme says, "yay"
Recchi cheers
josh_g says, "yay wait what the heck"
Gunther says, "DON'T CALL HIM PATHETIC"
Jacqueline says, "Yay!"
Rob claps.
Oren says, "yay!"
inky says, "foooore!"
Marvin says, "woo"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "And The Gostak, by Carl Muckenhoupt!"
Carrad2 takes a nap...
ctate hooks his tee shot into the rough!
Paul exclaims, "Yay TG, BTPAC!"
Iain says, "Yay plus fours!"
dfan says, "Putt putt"
Thrax exclaims, "yay ubiquity!"
Marvin says, "woo"
RyoVII goes home.
</RyoVII> RyoVII has disconnected from ifMUD.
Rob claps.
<RyoVII> RyoVII has connected to ifMUD.
josh_g golf claps for Golf.
NamelessAdventurer says, "And the winner is..."
</RyoVII> RyoVII has disconnected from ifMUD.
Paul exclaims, "Yay gostak!!!"
Iain says, "Jsj dyeoih feioh!"
DavidW doatches at the Gostak!
NamelessAdventurer says, ">OPEN ENVELOPE"
Ryan rolls a drum.
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "The winner for Best use of medium is: The Gostak, by Carl Muckenhoupt!"
Rob applauds!
buzzard exclaims, "Woo!"
Gunther comes under the drum and loses both legs
devil says, "Yay"
baf nurls.
Stacey says, "YAY"
Thrax exclaims (at baf), "doatch at us, you snave guy!"
Tanan applauds
Ryan says, "Yay!"
Iain says, "Woo!"
ctate says, "GO GO GOSTAK"
Photon claps.
Storme says, "yay"
Marvin says, "woo"
Hjalfi claps.
Emily says, "yay!"
inky says, "yay gostak"
dfan says, "Kick ass!"
Paul exclaims, "WOOHOO!!!"
Yekrats exclaims, "Yay!"
Gunther says, "YAY BAF"
nm says, "hooray"
josh_g cheers.
NamelessAdventurer asks, "Is there a baf in the haus?"
atholbrose applauds! Yay!
Oren says, "woo"
Aris exclaims, "Congrats, baf!"
neild exclaims, "Wooo!!!!!"
Kiz says, "yay Gostak!"
baf says, "There is."
DavidW gasks until he's blide.
Iain says, "Yay the one game I haven't played winning!"
Sargent says, "BEN! I mean, YAY!"
Jacqueline claps. "Yay!"
Recchi applauds for the Baf!
Jota cheers. "Woo Gostak!"
Dennis_Jerz says, "Woo-hoo"
baf says, "Well, gosh. Thanks."
DavidW claps.
Photon exclaims, "Gostak zanked them all!"
NamelessAdventurer gives Best Use of Medium trophy to baf.
Skip hunts the parking-lot whale.
</Skip> Emily says (to Skip), "This is a new disconnect not by Markov."
josh_g says, "yay spamcheer!"
Gunther says (to baf), "Onto the stage!"
eileen claps wildly
Thrax tunks baf and smarches.
ctate says, "Speech!"
Iain says (to baf), "SPEECH"
NamelessAdventurer drags baf behind the podium.
DavidW exclaims, "Yay the Gostaktunder!"
Iain says (to baf), "IN ENGLISH"
Sargent says, "Speech! But a comprehensible one!"
Miseri smiles for the camera.
Dennis_Jerz guns the engine of the Pratt Dynamo
ctate laughs.
Photon exclaims, "Doatch!"
Ellison says, "woo"
Recchi laughs at Iain
<Sophie> Sophie has connected to ifMUD.
Jota exclaims, "Doatch!"
baf gombs the stage
Gunther distims the doshes.
Sophie arrives from the west.
Iain says, "Noooooo!"
dhan-spain asks, "why not spanish?"
Thrax exclaims, "Pell at the delcot!"
Sophie says, "hi"
Iain says (to dhan-spain), "Well, that'd do too."
Gunther says (to dhan-spain), "y no habla espanol"
Carrad2 says, "Yet the chalkboard is still blank..."
baf says, "I'm afraid I don't have a prepared speech in Gostak dialect. I hope I'm not disappointing too many people."
Iain says (to Gunther), "Mu esta capabalo don utiliso don Google alt Babelfisho"
Photon sniffs.
ctate says (to baf), "THANK GOD"
BoingBall says (to carrad), "the ceremony is ruined"
katre walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
Gunther says (to Iain), "Puaj!! Great error!"
baf says, "But, if there is a parrot in the room, I would like to demonstrate something."
Alex flutters out of the room.
Alex flutters into the room.
Iain says (to Gunther), "Bugger!!"
NamelessAdventurer says, "Okay, I guess that was what passes for a speech these days. And now..."
baf asks (of Alex), "What is a gostak?"
Alex says (to baf), "Awwwk! Word on the street is that the gostak is what distims the doshes."
Thrax exclaims (at Alex), "yay!"
Alex exclaims (at Thrax), "Awwwk! You're a great crowd! I'll be here all night -- try the tarte au chocolat aux cork nuts!"
baf asks (of alex), "What is a dosh?"
Alex says (to baf), "Awwwk! Word on the street is that dosh is singular for doshes. Furthermore, cash is dosh."
baf asks (of alex), "What is distimming?"
Alex says (to baf), "Awwwk! Word on the street is that distimming is what the gostak does to the doshes."
Rob says, "Best Use of Parrot"
Iain says, "Yay"
DavidW claps for the parrot.
Gunther says, "Alex channels the gostak"
baf says, "I would like you all to know that the bird learned that without my help."
Carrad2 snatches everyone's booty and hides it ideep in the maze
Gunther says, "therefore HE IS A MEDIUM"
buzzard exclaims, "yay!"
NamelessAdventurer says, "So I was walking through this dungeon last week, and LET ME TELL YOU..."
Jota exclaims, "Yay!"
ctate laughs.
baf says, "And if a parrot can figure that stuff out, so can you."
devil says (to baf), "Awww."
Jota exclaims, "Woohoo!"
Iain says (to baf), "It all makes sense now!"
Carrad2 says, "crossing over, now that's funny."
Iain says (to baf), "Wait, maybe that means we should take the award back."
Gunther says, "It means "The gostak depants the parrot""
Carrad2 says, "what? I didn't win? oh, that's right, I didn't write an IF"
Thrax asks (of Alex), "okay, so how do I get past the cobbic glaud?"
Alex asks (of Thrax), "Um, seven?"
Rameses disappears.
<Duchess> Fascination casts a spell and you became more than just a mystery...
BoingBall says, "disappears? uh"
baf asks, "Um, are you waiting for me to give more speech or are we just lagged again?"