On March 28th, 2009, at 3:00 P.M. EDT, the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you not wish to see those comments, an expurgated version is also available.

 

inky says, "Lucian would have liked to present the Best Puzzles award himself, but unfortunately he is off at an academic conference. So, he left some instructions for me instead."
inky says, "let's see, what was step one ..."
inky exits through the back door, re-enters from the front, disappears through a trap
inky asks, "Escapade!, by Juhana Leinonen."
inky is about to read the next name, when a lobster appears and chases him around the
inky asks, "Gun Mute, by C. E. J. Pacian!?"
inky is about to read the next name, when a gust of wind from the overactive air
inky asks, "Piracy 2.0, by Sean Huxter!"
inky looks around for anything else odd to happen, but when nothing does, relaxes, and
inky asks, "Etbyj Myfre, Ere Viol Ese!"
inky frowns.
inky rearranges some letters.
inky asks, "Violet, by Jeremy Freese!"
inky asks, "And the winner is..."
[peanut-gallery] Lucea says, "er"
inky says, "that doesn't seem right at all!"
inky says, "this puzzle is way too confusing"
[peanut-gallery] Lucea says, "must be my connection"
DavidW says, "someone jinxed your chalk, inky"
inky exits through the back door, re-enters from the front, disappears through a trap door behind the podium, reappears traversing the catwalk, then leaps on a rope, which lowers him gently onto the stage. He removes an envelope tied to the rope.
inky says, "Escapade!, by Juhana Leinonen."
inky says, "(much better)"
Lucea claps
Jacqueline applauds.
Jota applauds.
violet claps
maga says, "yay"
radix exclaims, "hooray!"
Firion w00ts.
McMartin cheers before the Screaming Communists arrive
nm claps
vimes clapplauds
TJSay joins in.
inky is about to read the next name, when a lobster appears and chases him around the podium. Timing it just right, inky tips over the podium, trapping the lobster! Triumphantly, inky stands on the podium, and reads:
Cornelius claps.
inky says, "Gun Mute, by C. E. J. Pacian!"
Guest2 exclaims, "Yeah!"
Gunther says, "death-defying!"
vimes applaps
Jacqueline says, "Hooray!"
[peanut-gallery] Lucea asks, "wait, two winners?"
inky says, "(what does he think this is, Gourmet?)"
[peanut-gallery] Nate asks, "really?"
olethros claps
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "no"
[peanut-gallery] Jota says, "No, he's re-reading the nominees."
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "sorry, no, these are the nominees again"
[peanut-gallery] radix says, "oh, I guess that wasn't the winner"
JimMunroe effing lobsters!
[peanut-gallery] vimes says, "This is the nominees, /with/ the theatrics"
[peanut-gallery] Jota says, "I believe he misread them the first time."
[peanut-gallery] Lucea says, "oh, ok"
[peanut-gallery] radix says, "that really is a hard puzzle"
Maryam leaves the auditorium to the west.
inky is about to read the *next* name, when a gust of wind from the overactive air conditioners blow the paper out of his hands, and it gets stuck on an inaccessible spot on the wall.
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "heh"
inky says, "hrm"
radix gasps.
inky frowns, pulls out the blueprints to the auditorium room, makes some alterations, pushes a button on the podium, and disappears. A couple seconds later, a ladder shimmers into existence, built into the back wall. inky then reappears, climbs the ladder, grabs the paper, and triumphantly reads the next nominee: "Piracy 2.0, by Sean Huxter!"
[peanut-gallery] Nate asks, "where is the ceremony?"
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "type xyzzy"
djfletch says, "arrrrrrr"
Nate walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
inky looks around for anything else odd to happen, but when nothing does, relaxes, and reads the next nominee:
[peanut-gallery] Ellison says, "inky really should have SAVE'd before starting this tricky part"
inky says, "Etbyj Myfre, Ere Viol Ese!"
inky frowns.
inky rearranges some letters.
inky says, "Violet, by Jeremy Freese!"
Maryam arrives from the west.
vimes beats his hands together, making culturally appropriate encouraging noises
olethros says, "woop woop woop!"
olethros says, "opa!"
Fang says, "woo"
Ellison claps
TJSay joins in again.
Taleslinger claps
inky says, "and the winner is .."
inky pulls out an envelope and tries to open it.
Jacqueline leans forward.
Fang pushes the SAVE button.
inky realize the envelope is sealed with 69,105 locks.
radix leans back.
McMartin clears the blast radius
DavidW says, "Suddenly the lights went out!"
Taleslinger keeps Jacq from falling over
McMartin also prepares the smoked salmon
inky says, "oh, to heck with this"
Jacqueline says (to DavidW), "Yay Earth Hour!"
inky turns on debug mode and bamfs the envelope contents out.
inky says, "Gun Mute, by C. E. J. Pacian!"
olethros says, "hooray!"
Lucea claps
DavidW says, "HOORAY"
Maryam claps
radix cheers, louder than ever before.
Jacqueline stands up to applaud.
maga says, "woo"
vimes says, "huzzah!"
Fang says, "yay"
Guest2 claps.
[peanut-gallery] Taleslinger says, "fires a few shoots into the air,"
Pacian looks appropriately surprised.
Cornelius claps and cheers.
[peanut-gallery] Taleslinger says, "Darn"
Jota applauds.
djfletch claps
TJSay cheers.
Taleslinger fires a few shoots into the air,
JimMunroe shoots guns into air.
violet applauds
Pacian takes the stage and grabs the award with both hands.
inky says, "speech! or some silent pantomime accomplishing more or less the same thing"
Pacian says, "Well, I don't know what to say."
olethros throws guns in the air and shoots at them.
[peanut-gallery] Fang exclaims, "interpretative dance time!"
Pacian exclaims, "Is Nameless here? Most of these puzzles were about bring harm to NPCs, and I'm not sorry about that, either!"
Taleslinger says, "Most? All!"
NamelessAdventurer fills out the lawsuit paperwork.
Pacian says, "I guess I just want to thank George, Terry and Konstantinos for their support and feedback. And everyone who played and voted."
Pacian exclaims, "Cheers!"
Pacian returns to his seat.
McMartin says, "Not quite all."
NamelessAdventurer . o O ( I'm not sure 'they needed killin' is going to hold up in court )
Jacqueline says, "Heehee"
McMartin . o O ( But when killed then increase your score )
vimes says, ""I needed that last lousy point" is a good defense, though"
radix holds up the 'Kill Violencers' sign
Lucea . o O ( but all the witnesses are dead )
djfletch shoots at the sign